Total Drama World Tour Two
by Dark Cryo
Summary: Dedicated to CragmiteBlaster. In this alternate version of season four, Chris McLean brings a new cast of contestants on a second world trip! But will the grand prize be worth the suffering they'll have to go through? Chapter 6: The losing team has to fight Chef Hatchet for solo immunity. Another person is voted off, but questions still remain...
1. Chapter 1: Those Poor Souls

**Disclaimer-** I do not own Total Drama or anything related except for this fanfic. All credit goes to the creators, Teletoon, and Cartoon Network. I also do not own the alphabet theme, that belongs to Frank15. The 27 OC's in this story DO belong to me, though, so please do not steal them or I will be very very angry face.

**Author's Notes-** Surprise! New side project! I've decided to alternate between this story and my other one (TDS) so I'll always have a little something to do in my spare time… so yeah. This story is dedicated to CragmiteBlaster, one of my favorite authors!

(Fair warning, this is SERIOUSLY rated T. I mean it.)

So sit back, relax, and just enjoy the show!

* * *

**Day 1, Part 1: Oh Goody! Fresh Meat!**

* * *

Chris McLean, the handsome host of the Total Drama TV franchise, was standing in the middle of a large airfield in eastern Canada with a massive and very familiar-looking Jumbo Jet resting behind him. When the cameraman gave the signal that they were about to begin filming, Chris flashed a large grin for the audience.

"Welcome one and all, to a brand-new season of Total Drama! We're aiming to make this season the best one yet. And as you can see by the recently repaired (by paid interns) jumbo jet behind me, we're going to be going around the world a second time! That's right; there will be new locations, challenges, and plenty of danger! We think that the grand prize will be worth all of the suffering though. Because the winning contestant will be receiving not one, not two, but a whopping THREE MILLION DOLLARS!

"On another note, the producers have decided to largely remove the singing aspect from the previous season. The reason being that a lot of people didn't sing before and still stayed in the game, which I thought was a little unfair. But don't fret; I'll still make them sing if I want a bit of cheap entertainment."

He chuckled a bit before continuing. "Now for the contestants. Since the contracts for our veterans have expired- for now, at least- we've held auditions and accepted the twenty-six craziest and weirdest audition tapes we could find. Each person's name also begins with one of the letters of the alphabet so we could… umm… you know, I'm not exactly sure why we're doing this. It was the producers' decision, not mine."

A taxi pulled up nearby and Chris smiled. "Looks like our first victim has arrived, folks. So let's give a big welcome to the first competitor of Total Drama World Tour Two: Lemmy!"

A slightly short guy eagerly jumped out of the taxi and looked around. Lemmy had spiky reddish-brown hair with a small goatee, and blue eyes. He was wearing a lime green shirt with a picture of a chicken on it, red pants, and brown shoes. Noticing Chris, he ran over and shook the host's hand frivolously.

"Hi Chris! Do you like soda? I prefer pinecones! But concrete also tastes like lemons!" Lemmy cackled madly.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Chris asked the crazy teen, confused. "You know what, never mind. Just please do me a favor and stand somewhere far away from me."

"Can do!" Lemmy saluted. He ran off as another taxi arrived dropping off a girl in a white nurse's outfit and shoes, along with a large backpack slung over her shoulder. Her hair was a light, sandy brown color.

She watched as Lemmy ran around laughing like a nut, then whipped out a pen and notepad and wrote something down.

"Patient seems to be displaying symptoms of extreme hyperactivity. No known cure as of yet. Would recommend the use of muscle relaxants and pacifying medications to maintain proper bodily control… I would also recommend tranquilizer darts." she said to herself.

Chris looked at the camera and grinned. "Ladies and gentlemen, meet Carmella, our resident nurse. Here to make sure that none of these idiots suffer a painful and humiliating death."

"And to win!" Carmella added.

"Yeah, that too." Chris said dryly. "Now drop and give twenty for the third contestant of the season; it's Vance!"

Vance stepped out of his taxi and immediately snapped to attention. He was obviously a fan of the military; he wore a jungle camo shirt and pants, black hiking boots, and a pair of dog tags around his neck. His hair was light brown and mostly shaved. Large muscles were visible around his chest and arms.

"Cadet Vance McNeil reporting for duty, sir!" he saluted. "I look forward to leading the troops in the field of battle that is Total Drama! It will be a pleasure serving under you, Officer McLean."

"He called me officer!" Chris cried out in joy. "Finally, somebody recognizes me as their rightful superior!"

Vance just shrugged and looked around. He spotted Carmella standing nearby and nodded approvingly. "Nurse. An excellent choice; shows like these are known for their sheer brutality, and a skilled medic can patch up the young soldiers and send them back to the front lines. As for the little guy with the chicken shirt… he has spirit, I'll give him that."

"Well you might have trouble keeping this girl in line, Vance! Introducing Kendra!"

A lanky girl departed her taxi with an annoyed look on her face. Kendra wore a plain white T-shirt, violet pants, and black shoes with orange soles. Her black hair was spiky and came down to her shoulders; it looked vaguely like a porcupine's quills. She stormed over to Chris and jabbed a finger to his chest.

"Listen to me, McLean!" she growled, "I know how you treat all the people on this show like complete garbage, but I'm not going to put up with your bullshit, kapeesh?!"

Chris nodded nervously and backed away. Kendra then turned to Vance and gave him an icy glare. "As for you, soldier wannabe, keep in mind that I don't take orders from anyone! I do what I want, when I want, and nobody is going to tell me otherwise."

"As long as we're not on the same team, I don't care what you do." Vance said indifferently.

Chris decided to interrupt. "Moving along! Please give a warm, or should I say cold, welcome to Anthony!"

A tall boy hopped out of his taxi with a wicked smirk. "Let's chill!" he declared.

Anthony certainly looked a bit unusual. He had pale skin, spiky white hair, a light blue hoodie, white sweatpants, and blue shoes. Most noticeable was the very large, dark blue tattoo of a six-sided snowflake on the center his face.

Kendra blinked and stared at him. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked.

If Anthony was offended by her words, he didn't show it. "Nothing's wrong with me. I'm just a cryomaniac, an expert in all things frosty. I'm sure to be a valuable asset if we visit the icy regions of Antarctica or Greenland!"

"Ooh, how wonderful!" Carmella cheered. "This will provide me with several valuable opportunities to study human skin sensitivity!"

"And I like snow cones!" Lemmy laughed insanely.

Anthony nodded. "I agree with you; snow cones are _amazing. _I just hope that we don't visit the Sahara Desert; I get really bad sunburn…"

"We're going to Egypt first again," Chris piped up. "So it sucks to be you! Anyway, let's all give a big hello to… *snicker*… Queeny! A rich brat who paid her way onto the show!"

Queeny stepped out of her taxi with an air of authority around her. She was a heavily tanned girl with silky brown hair, an expensive-looking pink dress coated in rubies, and white high heels. She turned her nose up when she saw her fellow cast mates.

"Everyone, my name is Queeny. And by the end of the show, it will be known, respected, and feared. I also demand the respect of my teammates as I'll surely be the most valuable player in this silly little game."

She lowered her head and glared at the others. "And a fair warning to you all, don't even try to vote me off! I can very easily pay my way back into the competition!"

"What a bitch," Kendra grumbled. "Stupid name, stupid game plan, stupid everything. I wouldn't be surprised if you got voted off first and forgot to open the parachute on the way down."

Queeny's face turned a bright red and she shook in rage. "SHUT UP, YOU FILTHY PEASANT!" she hollered. "Or else I'll call my daddy and he'll make you homeless!"

"Ooh, you sure told me." Kendra said in a very sarcastic tone, rolling her eyes.

"I think I would rather have my old drill sergeant leading us than you. And that's really saying something." Vance noted.

Before Queeny could have a meltdown, Chris shoved her out of the camera's view and planted himself on her spot; he had lost a full twenty seconds of screen time which was _far_ too much for him.

"Go and explode somewhere else, Queeny. We're on a schedule here. So meet Ivan!"

Ivan walked over to the group rather slowly; he didn't seem to have the brightest glow around him. He had blonde hair with a few streaks of blue that covered his eyes, a white jumper, jeans worn backwards, and green-and-yellow loafers. He strolled over to Vance and shook the cadet's hand.

"Hello sir, I'm Ivan!" he greeted merrily.

"Good to meet you, soldier!" Vance returned with a much more firm handshake. "I'm Vance. I look forward to competing with or against you as we battle our way towards the prize."

"That's nice! Oh, and my name's Ivan!"

Carmella raised an eyebrow. "We know. You just told us your name a few seconds ago."

Chris cleared his throat and continued. "Good luck getting this next girl to speak to you. Here's Trixie!"

"OHMYGODAFREAKINGMIME!" Lemmy cried out in terror, grabbing Kendra and hiding behind her.

For those of you who bothered to read that, then Lemmy was correct; Trixie was indeed… a mime. Her hair was dyed white on one side and black on the other, and she wore a black and white striped shirt, black pants, a black beret, and white face paint with creepy black lipstick. Despite her appearance, she was smiling innocently.

"I personally can't believe that the producers chose your audition tape," Chris muttered. "Seriously, you're a creepy mime. What could you possibly have done to impress them? Put yourself in an imaginary box?"

Trixie frowned at the man, then mimed throwing a punch. A second later Chris let out an "OOF!" and fell to the ground, clutching his side in pain. Trixie laughed silently and skipped away to join the others.

"How the heck-? How did she just do that?" the host moaned as he slowly regained his footing. "I'm going to have to keep an eye on her. But I digress; next up we have Damien!"

A guy wearing a long, dark gray robe with the hood up practically sprinted out of his taxi. Damien's brown hair, which was spiked downwards, was slightly visible underneath the shadow of his hood. His eyes were a misty green color, and his shoes were brown. The most unique trait of Damien's appearance was that he carried a very large and wickedly curved scythe in his hands.

"The end of the world is nigh!" he chanted, raising his scythe to the heavens.

Queeny rolled her eyes. "Oh great, a doomsayer. Just what this poorly funded contest needs. I'll bet he's homeless."

Damien turned to face the rich snob. "I'll have you know," he told her calmly, "that I live in a nice house and live a good life. I just think that the world deserves to know that everyone will soon die a fiery, slow and excruciatingly painful death. But until then, I'll just have some fun here!"

"I'm having a hard time following your logic…" Anthony said, scratching his head.

Damien shrugged. "Not my problem."

Chris smiled at the camera. "He's sure to help bring in the ratings! But we're nowhere near done yet, so bring out Yuka!"

Yuka climbed out of her ride and smiled politely. Her long brown hair, done up in a ponytail, was a nice fit to her blue and white Catholic schoolgirl outfit. Her shoes were a polished black, and she also carried a Bible under one arm.

"Ooh, one of those religious girls. I'm guessing that you won't be getting along too well with Damien over there!" Chris jeered, pointing between the two.

Yuka decided to test this and shook the doomsayer's hand. "Hello, I'm Yuka. Pleasure to meet you." she said warmly.

"'Sup, I'm Damien." the boy replied.

The religious girl turned back to face Chris, who had a shocked expression on his face. "Don't underestimate me, McLean. While reality shows often treat nice girls like me like trash, I aim to break that cycle and win the whole season." she stated confidently.

Kendra smiled. "Tough. Smart. Level-headed. I bet I could really get to like her."

"Whatever, she's bound to run into trouble sooner or later. Next up we have Felipe; he'll either be a huge help… or a huge problem!"

Felipe stepped out of his taxi and waved. He was a Mexican boy with frizzy black hair and a blue one piece mechanic's jumpsuit. His sneakers were a light gray, and he was resting a large wrench over his shoulder.

"Hola chicos! Mi nombre es Felipe y espero tener un montón de diversión aquí!" he said in Spanish.

Yuka wasn't quite sure what to make of this. "Umm… that's nice. Are you a mechanic, by any chance?"

"Sí." Felipe nodded.

"Do you speak any English?" Anthony asked him.

Felipe scrunched up his face and looked like he was straining to answer. "Not… very… well." he replied slowly.

Queeny looked disgusted. "A Mexican, Chris? Really? You're honestly picking out the lowest of the low here!"

There were several gasps; Felipe looked quite offended. Marching over to Queeny, he got right up into her face and yelled, "Bueno, al menos yo no soy un malcriado, #bleep#tard snob, imbécil sin experiencia del mundo real hijo de puta!"

Kendra looked very impressed. "Wow. I don't speak any Spanish, but even I can tell that what he just said was incredibly vulgar. Nice job, Felipe."

Ivan was simply confused. "Wait, he was speaking Spanish? I thought it was Italian."

Nearby, Chris was openly laughing. "Isn't this great?" he said, wiping a tear from his eye. "We're not even done introducing people yet, and there are already conflicts brewing! But we have a time limit, so we should keep going. Go easy on this next girl; meet Ulilah!"

When Ulilah stepped out of her taxi, another series of gasps was heard.

"¡Santo cielo!" Felipe exclaimed in shock. Even Lemmy was too stunned to say anything.

Ulilah had an average build and long, light blonde hair with a sweet smile on her face. She was wearing a light purple sweater, blue yoga pants, and sandals. What had shocked everyone so badly though, was that she appeared to be about seven months pregnant.

"Sincere hello, everyone!" she greeted warmly. "Wow, so this is Total Drama? How nice! I think that win or lose I'll have a nice time getting to know you all."

"What a slut! That's what you get for being a trampy whore!" Queeny jeered meanly.

Ulilah frowned and shook her head. "No, you have it all wrong. I volunteered to be a surrogate mother for my cousin Anna; she can't have kids so I offered to help her out. Plus I'm being paid about forty grand for this."

"That was a very brave and honorable thing to do for your relative, ma'am. If I could give you a medal then I would." Vance nodded approvingly.

Ivan was jumping up and down in excitement. "That's so cool, lady! Maybe I can do that one day, too!" he cheered. Everyone present stared at him.

"O… kay." Ulilah said uneasily.

Chris whistled to get the attention back to him. "Yeah, you'll have to continue your conversation later, because we're only about halfway done. Our next contestant isn't quite the social butterfly; it's Malcolm!"

Malcolm was quite short and appeared to be bored. His hair was dirty blonde and rather tangled. He was wearing a bright red shirt with an yellow circle on the front, gray trousers, and reddish-brown shoes. Malcolm's eyes were clear gray but had a shifty look in them.

"What's up, dude?" Anthony asked the small boy with a smile.

"… Meh." Malcolm answered with zero enthusiasm. He then took his place with the others and was content to not say anything else.

"If you think that Malcolm isn't social, you haven't seen anything yet. Say hi to Brandi!" Chris announced.

"Did somebody call my name?" a female voice asked behind him. The host turned to see a girl with fiery red hair in twin ponytails watching him with her bags in hand.

Brandi was definitely from the open country. She wore a red-and-blue checkered tank top with an orange neckerchief, faded jeans, black work boots, and a cowboy hat. Of note was that her bust was even larger than Lindsay's, which had (obviously) captured the guys' attention.

She continued to watch Chris for a few seconds before noticing the Jumbo Jet behind him. Her face lit up in joy. "Oh wow! Is that one of them aero planes? I've never seen one of 'em before!" she exclaimed in a thick Southern accent. "This is absolutely amazin'!"

Damien wriggled his eyebrows at her seductively. "Glad to see that you're enjoying yourself, toots. Because just for the record… so am I."

Trixie scowled at him and mimed a slap; a second later Damien yelped in shock and rubbed the back of his head. "What the heck was that?" he asked, looking around. Trixie rocked back and forth on her heels and whistled innocently.

"Nice job, Grim Reaper boy. Now pray that the plane won't blow up when Xerxes is on board!"

Another guy hopped out of his taxi and immediately captured everyone's attention. Xerxes (no, not the same guy from 300) had on a white lab coat, black pants, red shoes, and a pair of high-tech night vision goggles covering his eyes. His hair was brown and very messy. Most interesting was that his left arm was made entirely out of metal; it ended in a five-fingered claw and medieval-style pauldrons decorated the shoulder area.

"What happened to your arm, dude?" Anthony questioned.

Xerxes grinned in a slightly mad way. "Well, if you must know, I blew it off after attempting to make a bomb out of C4 and liquid nitrogen. Apparently, I didn't add enough of the latter."

"I don't like this guy," Ulilah whispered to Vance. "He's definitely going to be bad news."

"Oh please, he can't be that bad. I bet he was just a little curious to see what would happen." Vance replied.

Xerxes' grin grew wider. "And just imagine the possibilities of what I could create with three million dollars! The world will tremble before my genius!"

Vance gulped. "Okay… now I'm a little spooked."

"Well this next person might like him. Give it up for Zillah!"

Zillah had dark brown hair with a yellow streak running through the center. Her belly shirt was white with a picture of King Kong on the front, and her pants were teal. She had sandals on her feet and carried a movie camera in her hands, which she was currently looking through.

"This is great!" she smiled. "So much to film, and so much time to do it! If this doesn't make me a movie director someday I don't know what will!"

Brandi raised her hand. "Excuse me, Miss? I thought that we were already on camera."

"It's for a project back at school for my telecom class," Zillah explained. "Whoever creates the best film, real or otherwise, over the summer gets their name put on the school's Filmmakers' Hall of Fame. So I figured that auditioning for Total Drama would get me a lot of juicy, behind-the-scenes footage!"

"I'm okay with it as long as none of it gets out on national television," Chris shrugged. "She already signed a contract promising not to anyway."

Xerxes was still grinning. "Maybe I can show her the sentient dental floss I invented during last year's science fair! Granted the judges thought that it was 'too dangerous' and 'an abomination'… yes it was a little hostile… but still, it was cool!"

Chris smirked. "Sure, go for it. Now try not to burst into tears when you're near this guy; please welcome Nate!"

A slightly tall boy exited his taxi slowly. Nate was dressed in very dark-colored clothes; he had a black drawstring hoodie with the hood up, black denim jeans, and dark blue sneakers with black laces. His hands were covered in light cloth bandages. He also wore a circular, pure white mask of an anguished crying face covering his own; the mask had a few tears painted on underneath the eye holes.

"Ewwwwwwwwwww! An emo kid! Someone get it away from me!" Queeny shrieked in terror. Nate sighed miserably and hung his head.

"Don't you backtalk him, soldier!" Vance snapped. "I'm sure that Private Nate must've had a darn good reason to end up like this!"

Nate shook his head and sadly sniffed. "No, I knew this would happen. Don't even try to defend me; probably deserved it anyway…"

Chris walked over and pat him on the back. "Keep up the attitude, buddy! Emo kids always help with the ratings. They also always tend to be fan favorites for some reason."

"I highly doubt that." Nate mumbled.

"Does anyone else want to give him a hug right now?" Yuka asked.

Chris smirked again. "Actually, our next guest will surely do that for you. It's Jessie!"

Jessie pranced out of her taxi with an enormous smile on her face. She had a pink sweater with a red heart on the center, a long red skirt, pink shoes with red soles, and long golden blonde hair that covered one of her aqua blue eyes. Much like Brandi, her chest was absolutely massive which had again entranced all of the males.

"It must be my birthday!" Damien squealed in excitement. Behind him, Trixie growled viciously and mimed a strong kick; the robed boy soon dropped his scythe, squeaked in pain and clutched his nuts as he hit the pavement.

"How does this keep happening?!" he moaned through clenched teeth.

Meanwhile, Jessie had noticed Nate moping nearby and bounded over to him. "Aww, you poor thing!" she cooed. "Do you need a great big hug to make you feel better?"

"You might as well hug an empty space." Nate replied without looking at her. "My life isn't worth anyone's time or energy. You should just go and- AWK!"

He didn't get to finish; Jessie had already picked him up and was now squeezing the life out of the 'poor thing'. I emphasize this because some of the other guys were getting pretty jealous.

"Lucky bastard!" said Felipe.

Chris stepped backwards a bit. "Gonna have to keep my distance from Preston… you'll see why in a moment."

A taxi pulled to a stop and dropped off the next… guy?

"Hellooooooooooooooo all you absolutely fabulous people!" a gruff yet high-pitched voice called out.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Ivan screamed.

Preston was a very strange specimen; he was a few pounds overweight and had his red hair done up in a bun. He wore a strapless yellow sundress with a green floral pattern and pink high heels. I sincerely apologize if you are now scarred for life.

"O-M-G, I am gonna have SUCH a lovely time here!" Preston gushed. "I can get the girls together and we can share secrets, or do each others' nails, or… ooh, does Mr. Rainy Day over there need some sunshine? I know just how to fix that!"

"Aw #bleep# my life." Nate grumbled before Preston glomp-tackled him to the ground.

Kendra seemed very disturbed. "If he ends up on my team, then I don't care what any of you people say, I'm locking him in the cargo hold."

Chris felt that it was safer to come a bit closer now that Preston was occupied. "No arguments there, girl. Getting back on track; let's give a big welcome to the most colorful contestant, Gail!"

The host was right; Gail was indeed very colorful. Her shirt was a rainbow of different colors and her slacks were a bright blue. Her normally raven-colored hair was stained with paint. She also lacked shoes, only wearing yellow socks. A pencil, paintbrush, and sketchbook were held under her arms.

"Good day to you all!" she declared, "As you know, I am Gail, an artist in training. My goal is to compete not for the money, but for an opportunity to paint the landscapes of the many wonderful and unique places we are sure to visit. But yeah, the money would also be nice."

Zillah smiled. "I like her. With my camera and her art skills, we could make an excellent duo! Hopefully we'll be on the same team!"

"Sure, you seem nice. I'd be glad to work with you." Gail responded politely.

"All this niceness is hiving me a headache; we need more villains! Tremble in fear because Seth's on the loose!"

Seth departed his taxi with a large scowl. He was clad in an orange prison jumpsuit with the right sleeve torn off, revealing that one of his muscular arms had a large tattoo of a snake on it. Seth's shoes were brown and ragged, and his hair was black and greasy.

"I pray for the safety of whatever team he ends up on…" said Yuka nervously, clutching her Bible to her chest.

Seth grinned and bared his sharp teeth. "People prayed that I wouldn't be let out of prison either, but here I am! And I've done it all; arson, robbery, carjacking, attempted murder, you name it. It's all in my record!"

"You kind of remind me of Duncan," Malcolm spoke up.

Seth's grin turned into a demonic snarl. "Duncan was nothing but a big pansy! Where did he get off, with all of that romantic garbage and his petty spray paint or carvings? That wasn't illegal; I'll be sure to SHOW you what illegal really means!"

Carmella looked worried. "This could pose a problem. I might run our of medical supplies in only a week if he's allowed to run free during the contest."

"Yeah, well, get used to it." Chris shrugged. "He's here to stay. But Seth won't be your biggest concern; not by a long shot! That honor goes to Olivia!"

A dark skinned girl leapt out of her ride with a heavy THUD. Olivia had several piercings covering her face, even more than Duncan. Her head was shaven completely bald, and she wore a sleeveless black shirt with a skull logo, shorts with a few rips and tears, and heavy dark purple boots.

"Scratch that… at this rate I'll be all out of medication in just a day." Carmella sighed.

Olivia eyed Seth and smiled cruelly. "Hey big man, you look like you enjoy causing people pain. Wanna team up and crush these losers?"

Much to everyone's surprise, Seth just yawned in reply. "Yeah, sorry babe, but I prefer to fly solo. People just slow me down, you know? But rest assured that I'll still give these chumps hell."

"Fine…" muttered Olivia. She then stalked over to Nate, who was recovering from Preston's hug, and grabbed him by the neck of his hoodie.

"Listen to me, emo runt! You're going to be my own personal punching bag while I'm here, so that my fists don't get antsy and begin hurting your pathetic friends. You got that?!"

Nate shrugged despite his current position. "Fine by me."

"She's a monster," Gail whispered to Vance. "If she tries to hurt someone, can you do something about it?"

Vance nodded. "You have my word, art girl. Olivia won't be bullying anyone as long as I'm around."

Chris was still smiling. "Only four more to go! Now, while he'll most likely wind up as cannon fodder, give a big hello to Will!"

Will was slightly shorter than most of the others, but not by much. He was wearing a black T-shirt with a shark tooth picture, orange jeans with twin chains draped across the sides, shiny black sneakers, and chain bracelets on his wrists. His long black hair was tied back in a ponytail. Interestingly, Will was twitching violently every couple of seconds.

He remained silent, giving quick and nervous glances at his fellow cast mates. When he saw the jumbo jet, though, all the color left his normally pale face and he let out an ear-piercing scream.

"NO! NOT A PLANE! NOT AGAIN; I WON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN!" he shrieked in pure terror.

Everyone else covered their ears and cringed. "He appears to have extreme Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder!" Carmella shouted over Will's screams. "Something terrible must have happened to him in the past!"

Chris seemed unaffected by all the noise and remained calm "Yeah, Will here had a _very_ bad experience involving a plane when he was fourteen. He won't talk about it, but the producers liked his freak-outs so here he is."

Will had stopped screaming and quietly whimpered, "It… it was all my fault… all of it…"

Jessie frolicked over to Will and gave him a bear hug. "It's okay; Jessie's here to help you make it all better!"

"Hey, what about me?" Damien called out. "I have serious issues too, you know!"

"You'll have to put it on hold, Damien; because Ellen is making her entrance!"

A slim girl with platinum-blonde hair arrived next. Ellen had a light gray shirt, a golden necklace with an eagle medallion, red slacks and hot pink dance shoes. She was listening to an iPod and began to dance beautifully for the others' enjoyment.

"Hi guys, I'm Ellen! As you can see, I like to dance. It's a wonderful talent and I'm aiming to teach the people of the world to express themselves with it!"

"Oooh, you'll just HAVE to teach me how to dance sometime!" Preston cheered. "I'm guessing that you can show me a good lap dance for the men!"

Ellen stopped her routine and stared at Preston with a weirded-out expression. "Umm… I'm sorry? You want me to show you _what_?"

Preston continued, "You heard me, darling! My skills will become so suave and sexy that all the boys will come running!"

"… I'm going to stop listening to you now." Ellen stated nervously.

Chris decided to interrupt before things got too scary. "And now for the last male contestant of the season; here's Randall!"

"What's up, McLean?" Randall asked the host as he left his taxi. He was very tall with tangled, dusty brown hair. His red hoodie and blue denim jeans were battened down tightly with duct tape at the ends of the sleeves and ankles. Randall's sneakers were gray with red soles and laces.

"I'm doing alright, buddy. Still as rich and handsome as ever! Hahaha!" replied Chris with an arrogant tone. "Say, what's up with the duct tape? That's not something you see everyday, brah."

The younger boy grinned. "It's to help lessen wind resistance. Practitioners of parkour have to be as swift as possible, you see."

Ivan scratched his head. "What's parkour? Some kind of skin disease?"

"Nope!" Randall laughed. "Here, I'll show you!"

He moved so quickly that nobody noticed at first. Randall sprinted towards the plane, jumped with a stylish midair flip, and landed on the jet's landing gear. He then scurried in a lizard-like fashion up the side of the aircraft until he was perched on the top. With a final jump, Randall landed on the tip of the tail and struck a pose. Almost everyone below clapped at the impressive display. Though some didn't.

"What garbage! All he did was jump around; it wasn't even that interesting!" Queeny scoffed. Nearby, Trixie mimed a strangling motion but nothing happened.

"Randall, get down from there!" Chris barked. "If you fall off and die we might get a lawsuit! Eh, whatever; it's your funeral. So, our last contestant hails all the way from Switzerland and might teach Chef a thing or two about food! Give it up for Helga!"

The last taxi came to a stop and dropped off a chunky yet kind-looking girl. Helga wore a white long sleeved shirt with a white apron, black pants and greasy black boots. Her eyes and hair were both hazel; with the latter done in short twin pigtails. She was also wearing a large chef's hat.

"Hello everybody! My name is Helga, and I shall be your chef for this journey, ja?" she said in a thick German accent. "Along the way, I also plan to teach large angry army man on plane how to cook delicious meals, ja?"

"¡Por fin! No más comida de mierda!" cheered Felipe.

Helga laughed. "That's right, funny Mexican boy! And that's not all; if I win the money I will open my own restaurant and you all get free passes!"

"That sounds lovely; can we let her win?" Ellen asked Chris.

"No! She'll have to compete just like the rest of you." the host responded. "Now that we're done here, let's all head inside the Total Drama Jumbo Jet! I'll explain the basics and any twists once we're all settled."

Everyone cheered and ran off to board the plane. Will, however, stood rooted to the ground.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! THERE'S NO WAY I'M GOING THROUGH THAT AGAIN!" he screamed.

Olivia grunted and hoisted the panicky boy over her shoulder. "Come on, wimp! You're slowing us down; and the sooner I have that money the better!"

"I'm really going to like this season," Chris chuckled. "There's gonna be action, danger, embarrassment, and… Randall, get off the plane! Sheesh!"

* * *

Later, the twenty-six contestants and Chris were standing in the jet's Second Class lounge. There really wasn't much to see; only seats with harnesses, a small television, and luggage compartments were of any note. A mouse scurried across the floor as Chris began to speak.

"Welcome to Second Class, where the people who aren't winners will be staying! There isn't much to do here, so you'll probably have to improvise if you get bored. Though we might have a few board games stored somewhere."

"This place is crap," Zillah grumbled. "And didn't a part of the wall break off last season?"

Chris shook his head. "Nope, that won't be happening again! We fixed up the plane to be as safe as possible. Here, let me demonstrate!" He then pounded the wall with his fist. A second later, it broke through the rusty metal and left a small hole, making the contestants gasp in fear.

"Umm… Chef can fix that." Chris told them hastily. "Let's move on, shall we?"

* * *

Soon, the group found themselves standing in a dimly-lit room with many boxes scattered around or piled up on top of each other.

"This is the Cargo Hold!" Chris announced. "The place where evil schemes are hatched and secrets are revealed! Pretty much the only reason we bother to keep a camera in here. Other than that, it's nothing special."

"I dunno… I kind of like it here. It's nice and quiet." said Nate softly.

* * *

They were next led to a gold-painted room with luxury massage chairs, fancy curtains, a water cooler, and other high-class items. Chris spoke up, "This is First Class, where the winning team will spend the night! It's got everything that you could possibly need in order to kick back and relax. Pray that you stay here often, Will."

"It's nicer than where I live!" Brandi pointed out.

Queeny sneered. "No surprise there, country yokel. Back home, I have a queen-sized bed with drapes, a wardrobe with all the latest fashions, and servants that are ready to cater to my every whim… something that this plane obviously lacks."

"Hey, sometimes Chef brings you guys snacks!" Chris argued.

* * *

The next area was more like a Super First Class. The walls were a solid gold, the floor had a soft fluffy rug, a comfy sofa was propped against one of the walls facing a huge 52-inch plasma TV, and a gold-plated Jacuzzi was situated in the opposite corner. A large poster of Chris was tacked onto another wall. Clearly, this was a slice of heaven.

"Now _this _is the luxury I deserve!" said Queeny approvingly.

"Dibs!" Lemmy chirped.

Chris waved a finger at them. "Not for all the hair gel in the world, you two! This is my private quarters, where NONE of you are allowed. However, I can be lenient, so the MVP winner of any challenge is free to spend the afternoon with yours truly. If that isn't the greatest reward ever, I don't know what is!"

Ulilah seemed to be thinking hard. "So we can have access to ultimate luxury… but we'd have to spend it with you. Hmm, choices."

"Shut up! You'll love hanging out with me, I swear!" whined Chris.

* * *

Next stop was a small hallway connecting Second Class with the airplane canteen. A few bathroom doors were on either side, with one sporting a sign saying "Confessional."

"That's the confessional. If there's anything you want to say in private, go ahead, but please try not to hog it or people might throw a hissy fit."

"I call first dibs!" Xerxes declared as he ran inside.

* * *

**(Confessional- Traveling the world, just like everyone else!)**

**Xerxes-** "Hmm, so this is the confessional? Booooring. But I digress; with my special gadgets and very large brain, I'm sure I can breeze on by to the finish line!"

**Jessie-** "I want the others to know that I'm here to help them with their problems and cheer them up. Oh, I have an idea!" (She pulls out a marker and writes, 'Jessie has hugs for everyone!' on the wall.)

**Damien-** (He grins slyly and writes, 'Damien approves of this!' underneath.)

**Nate-** (He looks at the graffiti and writes 'Nobody wants to hug Nate'.)

**Preston-** (Chuckles and writes, 'Preston does!'.)

**Trixie-** (She laughs silently and writes, 'LOLOLOLOL'.)

**Brandi-** "Why is there writing on the wall? Is this that 'texting' thing that I've heard people like to do?"

**Will-** "GET ME OFF OF THIS PLANE!"

* * *

The next stop of the tour was the airplane cafeteria. Several long tables and benches were lined up, along with a few vending machines and a small television that was currently broadcasting a baseball game. Everyone present was very surprised to note that another person was seated at one of the tables, eating a bowl of cornflakes.

He was a heavyweight and dark skinned teenage boy with shaggy black hair, a backwards green baseball cap, a green jacket, jeans and blue-and-white shoes. The boy also had a five o' clock shadow and hazel eyes.

Malcolm tapped Chris' shoulder. "Hey Chris, who's that guy?" he asked.

"I… have no idea," the host admitted.

Chef poked his head through a serving window nearby. "For your information, McLean, 'that guy' happens to be my nephew!" he growled. "I promised my sister that I'd look after him while she's on vacation!"

"But… but," Chris stuttered. "Alright, fine! He can stay here until we find a suitable place to leave him. What's his name, anyway?"

Chef's nephew stopped eating and looked up. "They call me Jar-Money." he stated in a deep voice.

* * *

**(Confessional- Does not own any money.)**

**Seth-** "'Jar-Money'? What the hell kind of name is that?"

**Chef Hatchet-** "Yeah, I promised my sister Pickles that I'd look after him during the show. Kid's real talented, too; he's a part-time rapper and studying philosophy at school. If pretty boy gives him any trouble… then he gonna get it!"

**Anthony-** "Does _anyone _in Chef's family have a normal name?"

**Jar-Money-** "Hmm… nope, probably not. I don't really mind, though; Uncle Chef always makes sure that nobody laughs at his family."

* * *

Chris blinked. "Wait… if you're here, then who's flying the plane?"

"Auto pilot. Have it set for Egypt." Chef replied.

"Thank goodness!" Chris breathed in relief. "Well, we're running out of time, so that does it for this episode! Guess we'll have to visit the Drop of Shame room later. But I leave you with the following questions: Who do you, our loyal audience, want to win? Who do you want to watch crash and burn? Is Nate going to die? Will Zillah get any good footage for her silly project? Who will be voted off first? And just how totally awesome am I, seriously? Find out next time on Total! Drama! World Tour Two!"

* * *

**Eh; it could have been longer, but I like how this chapter turned out. Got the basic ideas down and all the characters introduced. And just so you know, Jar-Money is going to play an important role in the story.**

**I would've had this done sooner, but a MASSIVE hurricane hit the area where I live and knocked out all the power for three and a half days. Stupid weather.**

**So what do you think? Like it, hate it, or do you just not care? Feel free to PM me or leave a review if you want; criticism builds character, people!**

**Next time: The teens visit Egypt, the teams are formed, a pyramid is conquered and camels make a prominent appearance. You know, the usual stuff.**


	2. Chapter 2: Insert Egypt Pun Here

**Disclaimer-** I do not own Total Drama or anything related except for this fanfic. All credit goes to the creators, Teletoon, and Cartoon Network. I also do not own the alphabet theme, that belongs to Frank15. The 27 OC's in this story DO belong to me, though, so please do not steal them or I will be very very angry face.

**Author's Notes-** Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but I've been very busy with school, hurricane cleanup efforts, and personal issues... not to mention Halo 4. Also, is anyone here good at drawing? If you could please draw any OC of your choice from this story, I will be eternally grateful. (I seriously suck at art of any kind.)

**Pairings-** Do you honestly believe that I'm going to reveal them this early? But look around a bit and you might find a hint or two.

One last thing; I have a new poll up! Check it out if you have the time to spare.

* * *

Day 1, Part 2: Pyramid Power and Klutzy Camels... and Lulz

* * *

After some last-minute preparations, the plane had taken off from the airport and was now traveling towards the dry country of Egypt. Based on the speed they were currently going at, it was estimated that they would arrive in about six hours. Until then, most of the twenty-six contestants (and Jar-Money) were keeping themselves busy with all the wonderfully expensive toys in First Class. A few of them headed off to the airplane canteen to grab a bite to eat.

Helga was in the kitchen with Chef Hatchet, serving fresh scrambled eggs to the hungry and talking with Chef about his culinary skills.

"No offense meant, Mr. Large Man, but your cooking tastes like... rat poop dipped in skunk juice, with just a touch of cinnamon!" she told him with a smile while she cooked. Chef scowled at the cheery Swiss girl.

"Are you saying that I need help, Happy Chubby Girl? Listen to me good; I do what I want here, when I want here, however I want here! And do you know why? Because in this kitchen, I'm the king!" he yelled furiously. "And NOBODY is going to tell me otherwise!"

Helga didn't seem to mind his harsh words. "While that may be true," she told him, "it still doesn't change the fact that your cooking sucks. How about I help to teach you properly? You and me, we can form our own little duo, ja?"

Chef seemed a bit startled; he was expecting the girl to leave in tears, or at least acknowledge and respect his authoritah. But an olive branch, and the prospect of his cooking actually becoming edible? It would certainly damage his fearsome reputation as head chef, but this was far too good an offer to pass up. He sighed and looked Helga right in the eye.

"Alright, girl, you have a deal. Teach me how to make a decent meal, and in return I'll... I dunno, play Twister with you or whatever it is you kids do these days for fun." he shrugged.

Helga looked to be delighted that he accepted her offer. "Good, very good! The first step towards recovery is admitting that you have a problem!" she lectured.

Chef scratched his head with his spatula. "Umm, I'm no expert, but ain't what you just said more suited for psychology or therapy or something?"

Helga shrugged and began to chop some vegetables. "I'm no expert either; but honestly, what's the difference between those situations and your own, ja?" she said wisely. Chef thought about it for a second, then conceded defeat and began to follow her instructions on how to make a healthy salad.

* * *

**(Confessional- Anyone pick up the South Park reference back there?)**

**Helga-** "This is good. Chef is in desperate need of lessons; I shuddered at what those poor people the last three seasons had to eat! But I'm confident in my teaching abilities. By the way, Chef's salad ended up colored pink... how does that even happen? Maybe I could ask that nice girl Gail; she might know, ja!"

**Chef Hatchet-** "I'm ashamed to admit it, but even I know how bad my cooking really is. Not that I don't try, though; something just always seems to go catastrophically wrong whenever I try to make something. Besides, I don't want my nephew Jar-Money eating bad food! He could get sick, and then I'd be in deep trouble with my beast of a sister!" (He shudders at the thought.)

**Nate-** "Helga seems nice, and she makes great food... but I don't want to take the risk of trying to befriend her. I'd just turn out like it always does- badly. And if you're curious to know, I eat my meals alone in the cargo hold. It's the safest place to take my mask off. I wear it because if people see my face, they'll laugh at me... and hurt me... just like the people back home. (Nate sighs miserably and crosses his legs in thought.) It makes me want to die..."

* * *

Xerxes and Zillah were with the others in First Class, playing a game of Left 4 Dead 2 on the Xbox 360. Currently, they were battling zombies using a special gameplay style that Xerxes referred to as a "Leeroy Jenkins Expert Speedrun." He even had the appropriate song on a built-in iPod on his metal arm. But after being defeated for the umpteenth time, he was starting to go a bit crazy, much to Zillah's amusement.

"NOOO! Every time I round a corner, I always run into the crying girls with the claws!" he shouted as said clawed girl killed his character again. "And if it's not that, then it's one of those big... zombie... gorilla... THINGS!"

Zillah chuckled a bit as she watched the scientist blow a fuse. "Well I don't know about you, but I seem to be doing good so far. Hey look, a safe house! Made it on my first try!"

As Xerxes fumed silently, Brandi noticed what they were playing and stopped to watch.

"Umm... what are you two doing, some kind of TV game? And why are you shootin' all those people? They look really sick; you should be helpin' em', not killin' em'!" she shrieked. Zillah shook her head and laughed at the country girl.

"It's only a game, Brandi! And those people on the screen are zombies; the dead who have come back to life! Or in this game, they were infected by a nasty virus that makes them really savage. And if you get bitten by a zombie, then you'll turn into one, too. The only way to defend yourself is to kill them... or else they'll kill you first!" the movie fan explained.

"And based on the luck I've been having with this game, they'll probably target _me_ first." grumbled Xerxes.

Brandi's face turned pale and she began to panic. "Wait... what? The dead can come back to life all hostile? But what if one of us is infected?! I don't wanna die, or hurt my friends!"

She then grabbed onto the nearest person and clung to them tightly. "Protect me, Will!"

"ACK!" was Will's response as he struggled to breath. "Brandi... bones... only have *twitch* a finite amount!" he gasped. "And please don't touch me!"

Brandi was about to obey, but at that particular moment Anthony chose to walk by while licking a snow cone. The cryomaniac stopped and paused when he saw the interesting display in front of him.

"Uhh... am I interrupting something?" he blinked.

Brandi blushed a bit and shoved Will away from her. "Nope, no, nothing to see here! It's just that Zillah was explaining what these so-called 'zombies' were to me, and... I got a little scared." she admitted in an embarrassed tone.

Anthony smirked. "You've got nothing to worry about, babe. Zombies aren't even real! However, the chances of the moment you and Will hugged will end up on YouTube... they're pretty real." he said with a glance to his right.

Brandi noticed and turned to see what he was looking at; she saw Zillah watching them both with her camera in her hands.

"This... is... GOLDEN!" she laughed.

* * *

**(Confessional- Wrong; this is Sparta!)**

**Brandi-** "I've spent all my life on my parents' farm... and now I'm startin' to think that I should have gone out to town more. And as for Will... again, I panicked! Sure, he seems nice, but I don't think he's really my type; what with the twitchin' and screamin' and all. I wonder what happened to him that makes him so jittery all the time, though. Somethin' very bad I reckon."

**Anthony-** "Poor Brandi, I don't think she's ever been with other people her age before. Too bad, really; she could be quite the catch if only she learned to socialize a bit more. And don't tell anyone I said this, but personally I think that she's even hotter than Taylor Swift! Though you can probably tell why... heh heh. I'm not a pervert, by the way. That doomsayer guy, maybe, but not me!"

**Will-** "How was I supposed to know that Brandi would have a panic attack? And that death squeeze meant nothing. She seems okay, but I'd prefer to remain single since... well... (Will sighs.) I just don't want to hurt her, or anyone else on board. Not after what happened last time. Gosh, I hate planes..."

**Zillah-** "I'm not going to put that footage on YouTube, because that would lead to early spoilers! Besides, someone else is probably gonna do it anyway. I am, however, going to put it into my film project!"

**Xerxes-** "Personally, I'm not that into romance. I would much rather spend my time tinkering with my arm or building gadgets and explosives. Don't get me wrong, though; I would love to have a girlfriend sometime, but right now it isn't really my primary focus. I came here to win and so I shall. Oh, and expert mode SUCKS! Time for mods!"

* * *

Lemmy was sneaking over to Chris' private quarters in his bathing suit; the host was in the cockpit at the moment so he figured that he could take a quick dip in the Jacuzzi to pass the time. He managed to reach the door to the luxury room and smiled to himself.

"MVP of the challenge, my butt!" Lemmy cackled as he opened the door. "Why go through all that when I can just sneak in and-"

He didn't finish his sentence; when the door swung open the first thing he saw was Yuka sitting in the Jacuzzi with a tropical fruit smoothie in her hand and relaxing peacefully. Lemmy blinked in shock as Yuka opened her eyes to greet him.

"Oh, hi there! Lemmy, is it? Come to join me in the hot tub?" she smiled at him.

"Umm, yeah... but why are you get in here?" Lemmy asked her. "I mean, I'm just here because Chris says I can't be, but..."

Yuka giggled and motioned for him to come in and join her. "You just answered your own question, silly! Chris doesn't deserve all of this luxury for himself; after what he did to the veterans I'd say it's perfectly justified. Besides, maybe it'll help us prepare for Egypt."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Lemmy said with a crazy grin. "Now then, on to business... CANNONBALL!"

He ran forward and jumped into the bubbling water with a huge splash. Yuka laughed as she shielded herself from the water, but when Lemmy surfaced a moment later, his smile was gone. In its place was a look of concern.

"Yuka? I think there's something in the water... something big." he said quietly. Both of them scooted to the edge of the tub as the water began to bubble and swirl fiercely.

A moment later Preston burst to the surface, clad only in a very small and skimpy yellow bikini. "HELLOOOOOOO, DARLINGS!" he sang. "Isn't this water just _fabulous?_"

Both Lemmy and Yuka screamed and bolted from the private quarters, leaving Preston alone in the Jacuzzi. The cross-dresser scratched his head in confusion.

"Hmm... maybe the water was a teensy bit too hot for them. Or perhaps that was me! Oh, I'm so naughty!" he giggled. He grabbed Yuka's unfinished smoothie and sighed as he began to relax.

* * *

**(Confessional- Great first impressions, huh?)**

**Lemmy-** "MY EYES! MY INNOCENT, VIRGIN EYES!"

**Yuka-** "I'm normally a tolerant girl who relies on the Bible for guidance... but I don't think that there's anything in there that will help me to unsee what I just witnessed." (Yuka shudders.)

**Preston-** (Still in his bikini.) "I invited Yuka and Lemmy to come back and join me a few minutes later, but they politely refused. Well, Yuka did; little Lemmykins ran away screaming for some odd reason. Maybe he's just a tad shy!"

* * *

Another hour or two passed aboard the plane before Chris' voice crackled to life over the intercom.

"Attention fresh meat! We're about to land in Egypt; home of the pyramids, the Nile River, and not much else that I can think of off the top of my head! In fact, we're scheduled to land right about... now!"

Moments later an ear-shattering CRASH was heard and everyone on board was launched about a foot into the air from the sheer force of the impact. Groaning, the contestants picked themselves up and shuffled over to the exit ramp.

Damien was the first one to make it outside. Hurrying over to a pharaoh-style Chris (who's always one step ahead for some reason), the doomsayer raised his scythe to the sky and began to chant.

"Let fear invade your hearts, foolish mortals! The Devil's raging fire and the howling winds of God shall sweep you away to your inevitable doom! Tremble before the might of... of... hey. Wait a minute. Where the heck are we?" he asked, scanning the empty desert in front of him. It was barren except for a single pyramid not far in the distance.

Chris chuckled lightly as the rest of the contestants gathered behind Damien and awaited their instructions.

"No demonic preaching today, I'm afraid. We're far from any civilized area! Anyway, welcome to Egypt, where your first challenge will be held!"

Anthony was already beginning to weaken. "Hey, Chris? Are you going to be giving us any water during the challenge? Or better yet, how about a bucket full of ice cubes?" he weakly asked the host.

Several other people nodded in agreement; after all, dehydration was a very unpleasant experience that nobody wanted to risk acquiring.

"Yes, I'll make sure to give you guys canteens. While I may enjoy watching you guys suffer, dead people don't really bring in a lot of ratings. Moving on! The first part of your challenge is quite simple..."

He gestured toward the pyramid nearby. "All you have to do is conquer the pyramid! The second part will be explained when you make it to the other side."

Ulilah frowned. "That doesn't really make much sense. What do you mean, 'Conquer the pyramid'? And what about the teams?"

Chris waved a finger at her. "All will be explained once you get to the pyramid. I'd walk there with you guys, but when you have a personal dune buggy, you gotta show it off right?"

Seth flipped him the bird while the others collectively groaned.

* * *

After a scorching hot and very unpleasant trek, the twenty-six competitors reached the monument while sweating up a storm. In front of them were four things: Chris eating an ice cream cone near his dune buggy, the pyramid's foreboding entrance, an unnaturally tall pile of sand, and three different carpets colored yellow, green, and blue.

"'Sup guys? Glad to see you made it here alive! Haha!" the host smirked nastily.

"Just shut the #bleep# up and tell us what all this junk is for, McLean!" Olivia snarled menacingly.

Chris shrugged. "Fine, be that way. So, the first thing we have to do is divide you into teams; like last season there will be a total of three teams. And that's where the sand pile comes in. Buried all around it are several cards with three different colors on them. Those of you who get the same-colored cards will be teammates! Are there any questions?... Good! Now start digging!"

Everyone made a lunge for the pile and began digging for paper treasure. While some of the cards were easily found, others had to dig a bit deeper in order to find anything. Nate actually went through four different cards; every time he would find one, somebody would swipe it out of his bandaged hands. Eventually each of them found one and spread themselves out a bit for breathing room.

"Great job; now let's all see which of you will be stuck together till the merge!" Chris chuckled. "If you have a yellow card, then please get your butts over to the yellow carpet."

Carmella, Yuka, Vance, Anthony, Ulilah, Nate, Lemmy, Helga, and Kendra all walked over to stand on the yellow carpet with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

"I have a strong feeling that this team will accomplish great things. As for our team name... I think that Team Sandstorm would be appropriate, seeing as how we're in Egypt." Vance smiled confidently.

Kendra groaned. "Wonderful, I'm stuck with all the weirdos and a young G.I. Joe. This summer is going to suck big time."

* * *

**(Confessional- Team Sandstorm icon: A yellow tornado.)**

**Carmella-** "Besides the possibility of Nate trying to hurt himself, I have a good feeling about this team. I hope they'll see me as a valuable member thanks to my medical skills."

**Vance-** "Hmm... this promises to be an interesting experience. Time to learn whether I can turn this ragtag team into a formidable fighting force... or see if we'll all go down in flames. I sincerely hope it's the first thing."

**Anthony-** "Most of my teammates look nice enough. Kendra is a jerk and Nate is kinda scary-looking, but I think that I can work around that without much of an issue. Also, I'm not liking Egypt very much; it's just too hot for me. I'd prefer Antarctica any day of the week!"

**Yuka-** "Thank the Lord I'm not on the same team as Preston!"

**Ulilah-** "I don't want to be seen as a liability to the team; I was actually quite the athlete back home before I volunteered to get pregnant for my cousin. So I'm pretty confident that I'll last at least a little while. And who knows, maybe I could win the whole thing!"

**Lemmy-** "I like chickens!"

**Helga-** "We seem to have quite the varied team, ja? But despite their differences, there's one thing that they all have in common: they get hungry! And I'll be sure to provide them with plenty of fresh-cooked meals to give them the energy they'll need to win challenges!"

**Nate-** "Maybe I should throw the challenge and get myself voted off. Not like any of them will miss me. But then I'll have to see them again if they also lose, and they'll be mad at me... why can't I just be left alone to cry in peace?"

**Kendra-** "Let me get something straight with all you viewers: I DON'T do teamwork. It'll end up with all of them bossing me around, and I wouldn't get a say in any matter. I work alone, and I'll make sure to drill it into their thick skulls."

* * *

Chris cleared his throat. "Save the whining for later, Kendra. Now then, if you have a green card, then relocate yourselves to the green carpet."

Trixie, Ivan, Queeny, Damien, Jessie, Zillah, Malcolm, Olivia, and Felipe headed to their respective carpet with no complaints. Though when Damien shot Jessie a smug grin, Trixie cracked her knuckles in preparation for the worst to happen.

Malcolm went unnoticed by his new teammates. The small boy looked at each of them and thought to himself, _Everything is going according to plan so far. The less attention I attract to myself, the better._

"We'll call ourselves Team Venom!" Zillah cheered. "Because we're deadlier than any snake bite!"

"No way! We're going to be Team Queeny!" Queeny interjected. Zillah blew a raspberry at her.

* * *

**(Confessional- Team Venom icon: A green snake head with fangs bared.)**

**Damien-** "I'm not a big ladies' man, just so you know. I'm simply a jerk and I'm not afraid to admit it. Still, with a girl as hot as Jessie on the team, how can I resist? As for the rest of my teammates... meh. They're kind of weird or just plain annoying. It'll be great fun messing with them!"

**Malcolm-** (Shaking his head.) "Alejandro had it all wrong last season. He made himself stand out, and his schemes were far too obvious. I'm going to keep a low profile and use my persuasion skills to swing votes into my favor. I'll be pulling all the strings in this game, and nobody will ever suspect me of being the puppet master."

**Olivia-** "Well, I guess I won't be getting to torture the emo anytime soon. Maybe I can beat up that stupid Ivan kid instead; he won't fight back! And as for my game plan, easy. Brute force and intimidation! It works at home, so it'll surely work here!"

**Queeny-** "Pfft, I'll have control over this team in a day flat. All of my teammates are pathetic poor people with no futures ahead of them. They have to understand that ugly peasants like themselves are stepping stones for rich beauties like me! And once I win the prize money, I'll buy their houses, demolish them, and make my own chain of Queeny theme parks to show off how powerful I am!"

**Ivan-** "I like my team! We're going to be the bestest friends! Well, maybe not the mean people. I think they're mean!"

**Trixie-** (She holds up a picture of Damien and frowns while shaking her head. She then holds up a picture of money and gives a thumbs-up.)

**Felipe-** "Parte del equipo parece bonito, pero Queeny realmente me pone de los nervios, y Olivia y Damián son unos idiotas. El resto de ellos están muy bien hasta ahora. Y si gano el dinero, voy a abrir mi propio taller de reparación de automóviles!"

**Jessie-** "Oh my gosh, I am SO excited to be on a team! Granted I don't like a few of them very much, but other than that we're sure to get along swimmingly! And if any of them feel sad I'll be sure to help cheer them up!"

**Zillah-** "I have a feeling that lots of drama will happen on this team. Fine by me! That means that I'll have more good footage to capture! However, I haven't decided what I'll do with the money if I win. Perhaps I'll buy my own film industry, what do you think?"

* * *

"And if you have a blue card, then head on over to the blue carpet... duh!" Chris laughed.

Randall, Gail, Preston, Seth, Brandi, Xerxes, Ellen, and Will moved to stand with each other on the carpet. Gail counted their numbers and noticed that they were a man short from the other teams.

"Chris? Both the other teams have nine members each, and we only have eight. That isn't very fair!"

Chris scratched his chin in thought. "Yeah, you're right. Let's see now... how to fix this..."

A moment later his handsome face lit up as an idea came to him. Pulling a megaphone out of seemingly nowhere, he yelled in the direction of the plane, "Jar-Money! Get your fat ass over here! And bring me another ice cream while you're at it, I'm all out!"

A few minutes passed when Jar-Money came hurrying over to the group, panting heavily and holding an ice cream cone in his hand. "You need something, Mr. McLean?" he asked between breaths.

Chris snatched the dairy treat from Chef's nephew as he answered.

"Actually, I do need something. Congratulations! You're now an honorary contestant, and have officially joined the running for the three million dollars!" the host grinned at him.

Jar-Money looked up and smiled modestly. "Wow, I honestly didn't see that coming. I'd be happy to compete!" the young rapper said.

Chef appeared by his side in a flash; how he had overheard the conversation or gotten there so quickly, nobody was sure. The burly man spun his nephew around to face him and grabbed the boy's shoulders with tears of happiness forming in his eyes.

"Do me ears deceive me? Are you actually competing, boy? That's absolutely wonderful news!" Chef sobbed as he hugged Jar-Money tightly. "I'm so proud of you! Now go out there, and bring honor to the Hatchet family name!"

"I'll try my best, Uncle Chef." Jar-Money replied as he pat the cook's back to calm him down.

Chris cleared his throat again to gain everyone's attention. "Yeah, that's really great and all. So tell me, what team name have you guys decided on?"

Seth grinned wolfishly. "Something as badass as I am! I'm thinking that we should be called-"

"Ooh! Oooooh! I know!" Preston interrupted. "How about... Team Chef is Really Really Really Really Cute?"

Everybody was stunned into complete silence.

Ellen spoke up first. "You've got to kidding me... is he being serious?" she asked. Randall, who was standing next to her, shrugged in equal confusion.

"Worst. Team name. _Ever._" frowned Chris.

* * *

**(Confessional- Team Chef is Really Really Really Really Cute icon: Chef's snarling face, colored blue.)**

**Xerxes-** "Honestly, Preston... what the hell were you thinking? Eh; no real biggie. On to business! I've come fully prepared to face whatever challenge is thrown our way! There is nary a gadget I have that won't get the job done perfectly! Nary, I say!"

**Gail-** "So many colorful people on our team... maybe I can paint a mural of the nine of us together? Though now that I think about it, it might be wise to leave out Seth; he seems like the kind of person who would enjoy causing trouble. I'm also glad that we have Jar-Money here to help even out the teams."

**Will-** "I have to work with a team now? Oh boy, this isn't going to be fun. What if my PTSD causes us to lose any of the challenges? And what if... what if I accidentally hurt one or more of them? I wouldn't be able to live with myself! GAH!" (Will begins to twitch and shake uncontrollably.)

**Seth-** "As expected, I'm the strongest one on the team, so they'd have to be stupid to get rid of me! Nearly all of them are freaks in some way or another... Preston especially... but there's one exception. That redheaded prairie girl is someone that I wouldn't mind being 'alone' with! Haha, this is gonna be fun!"

**Ellen-** "While that could have gone a lot better, I'm at least satisfied that we now have an equal number of people on each team. I'm now wondering which of us are going to be the most valuable assets. Hopefully I can be one of them!"

**Brandi-** "Umm... okay then, I guess I could learn to get used to this whole 'teams' thing. I've never done anything like that before; back on the farm, I'm able to finish most of the daily chores by myself. On another note, I saw that Seth fella lookin' at me all weird... I gotta admit that it made me feel mighty uncomfortable."

**Randall-** "With my decent strength and incredible skill in parkour, I think that I'll make it to the merge at least. Well, that's assuming my team doesn't get completely annihilated beforehand like Team Victory did last season. Although it could've been the fact that they totally jinxed themselves that made it happen. But I digress, besides Seth I think that I'll get along with everyone here."

**Preston-** "Aww, don't we have just the cutest little team ever? I only hope that those silly gooses can behave themselves; I'd hate to have to become their mother for the season! And don't tell him I said this, but... I think that Seth is _quite_ the hunk of man meat, don't you all agree? Teehee!"

**Jar-Money-** "I have to admit, being a contestant feels pretty nice indeed. But living up to Uncle Chef's expectations is going to be a challenge in itself. He's nice at times but I dread to think about his reaction if I lose. Oh well, I'll worry about that later, and for now I wanna get acquainted with my new teammates."

* * *

"Are there any more complaints?" asked Chris. "No? Excellent! Time to explain the challenge; the first part is incredibly simple: make it to the other side of the pyramid. You can choose to either go below it using the spooky entrance here, you can attempt to climb over it using any way you see fit, or you can simply try to go around it from the sides... the key word being 'try'. Each route can only be used by one team, so pick your choice carefully."

"Screw the consequences, we're going around it!" Damien said loudly. Olivia pounded her fists together to show her agreement.

Jar-Money was looking over his team and thinking hard. "Well, since we have quite a few physically adept people on our team, I say that we should climb it. And Metalmania here can whip up a gizmo to help those of us who aren't in good shape."

"Metalmania? Are you talking about me?" Xerxes asked him.

"No, I'm talking about Twitch." replied Jar-Money with a gesture over to Will. "Of course I mean you; you're the genius!"

On Team Sandstorm, Vance sighed. "Guess that means we're going to be doing some spelunking. Well, at least it'll be a good team-building exercise!"

Next to the cadet, Nate fell over and face planted into the sand. He made no effort to get back up.

"Umm... what are you doing?" Carmella asked the emo.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm trying to die!" Nate grumbled in a muffled voice. "Based on my options, I'll either get baked by the sun, eaten alive by vultures, or stepped on by a camel. Maybe all three if I'm lucky."

Leaning down, Vance grabbed Nate's hood and forced him to stand. "That's no way to think, soldier! If we're going to win this challenge, then it has to be a team effort. Now onward to victory!"

* * *

(Team Chef)

While Team Sandstorm departed to head inside the pyramid and Team Venom left to go around it, the nine members of Team Chef were facing the looming tomb with a mixture of awe and concern. Xerxes broke the silence with a deranged laugh.

"Well I don't know about you guys, but I have just the thing to help!" he cackled. Raising his metal arm, the clawed hand retracted inside the inner mechanisms and in its place popped out a small propeller. With a loud whir, the propeller revved itself up and a moment later lifted Xerxes into the air! How that was possible considering the size difference is a question better left to academics.

"See you all later!" the mad scientist called out as he easily flew over the pyramid.

* * *

**(Confessional- Nine members per team... Trent would be happy.)**

**Xerxes-** "Never underestimate the power of science! Or propellers, for that matter. And yes; while I could have built something mind-blowingly amazing to help the others, it simply would've taken too much time! You can't rush genius."

* * *

Back on the ground, Randall cracked his knuckles as a warm-up.

"This shouldn't be too hard. I used to climb building back home, so how should this be any different?" he said confidently. The parkour lover then began to hop from stone to stone as he easily scaled his way upwards.

Ellen followed him not too far behind; while not as athletic as Randall, she was still pretty light on her feet and therefore had no trouble keeping a steady pace.

The remaining team members eventually began to climb as well, eventually leaving only Seth and Preston at the bottom. Before Seth could begin his ascent, though, Preston grabbed his arm and looked at the muscular convict with pleading eyes.

"Honey, you wouldn't mind carrying little ol' me up to the top of the big bad pyramid, would you?" the cross-dresser asked flirtily.

"... Never." was Seth's reply. He then shoved Preston to the ground and began to climb, muttering something about a body bag under his breath.

* * *

**(Confessional- A great place to hide in.)**

**Seth-** "What the hell was that about? If Preston thinks that he's going to get a free ride from me, then he's got another thing coming. Heh, maybe once he reaches the top, I could push him back down! I hope he breaks his neck along the way! Yahahahaha!"

**Preston-** "Ooooh, looks like we have a fighter!"

**Ellen-** "I don't blame Seth for doing that, really. It's like Preston believes that... what he does... is perfectly normal, and that he's actually a woman! I don't think he realizes how much he creeps us all out."

**Jar-Money-** (He appears to be deep in thought.) "Hmm... when fire burns, does it only cause needless destruction? Or does it simply do what it was created to do? That's one of life's mysteries I doubt anyone can solve."

* * *

(Team Sandstorm)

The inside of the tomb was dark, but several torches lined the walls to give the team a bit of light. Kendra was currently leading, walking at a brisk pace to make sure that nobody passed her. Vance followed close behind, with most of the others trailing after him. Nate brought up the rear; he was crying quietly so nobody could hear him.

"So," Yuka said in an attempt to start conversation, "what do you guys think of the competition so far?"

Anthony raised an eyebrow. "No offense, but isn't it a bit early to have an opinion on this sort of thing?" he asked.

"I'm just trying to be nice." shrugged Yuka.

Ulilah smiled sweetly. "Well, I like it so far. What do you say we all get to know each other a bit better in the meantime? For example, I'm on the lacrosse team back at school. I'm also pretty good at singing."

"People liked to boss me around before, but I'm sick of taking their crap. I look out for myself, and only myself. I also plan to buy my own mansion with the prize money." Kendra grumbled.

Yuka spoke up, "I joined the show because I'm sick of the way nice people are often treated. I aim to prove that good girls don't always finish last. Also, I go to Church every Sunday and attend a private Catholic school."

"My name is Lemmy Tompkins, and someday, somehow, I _will _prove that the Earth is really triangular!" Lemmy declared.

"I'm originally from Switzerland, but you can probably tell by my accent, ja? I enjoy cooking and watching soap operas in my spare time." said Helga.

Anthony sighed and shrugged. "I'm not terribly interesting aside from my love of ice. It actually started when I nearly froze to death in a blizzard a few years ago... and ever since then I've never been bothered by the cold. Ice is something that we should respect as much as fire."

Everyone was stunned; out of all the possibilities, they never expected a near-death experience to make Anthony into what he was today.

"That's... really deep," whispered Carmella. "I never would have guessed it. Although it kinda makes sense in retrospect; learning to appreciate the joy and wrath of nature rather than fight it."

* * *

**(Confessional- The author also has a high tolerance to the cold.)**

**Carmella-** "I wish that I could say the same thing about myself. You see, when I was nine I had a baby sister who got very sick one day... she never recovered. That's how I got into medicine. Disease and sickness is something in nature that I can never learn to love."

**Anthony-** "There, I said it. No sense in keeping secrets from my new friends. I was very lucky that day to survive, and keep all of my limbs. As for how it happened in the first place... that's something I'd rather not discuss, and it isn't important. No sense dwelling in the past as long as you have a future."

* * *

"So, anyone else have something to say?" said Anthony to try and keep the conversation going.

Nate sniffed sadly. "I'm Nate. People like to hurt me. And I plan to die before the contest ends." he mumbled.

Ulilah blinked in surprise. "Why on earth would anyone like to hurt you? That's insane! You haven't done anything wrong so far."

The miserable boy very quietly whispered something that sounded like "Exactly" but nobody heard it. Vance cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

"My full name is Vance Arthur McNeil, and I come from a long line of family members who served in the military. My father is currently serving in Afghanistan with the Americans, and my grandfather is a retired general. I thought that I would continue the tradition and join boot camp. It's taught me how to deal with any- oh sweet mother of God!"

He and all the others stopped short at what lay in front of them. The obstacle in question was a massive statue of the Egyptian god Anubis, wielding a large and razor sharp spear. With a low rumble, the dog-like statue actually began to MOVE, stretching out its 'limbs' before facing the contestants with piercing red eyes.

"Nobody make any sudden movements," Vance cautioned. "Maybe if we don't move, it won't see us."

"That's Jurassic Park, you dumbass!" Kendra snapped. "Now how the hell are we going to get past this thing?"

"I... have no idea." Carmella shivered as the stone beast glared at them.

Nate then stepped forward ahead of the group, much to everyone's surprise. The emo very slowly raised his head and locked eyes with the Anubis statue.

"... Are you going to kill me?" he asked in a soft voice.

The statue raised its spear in preparation to strike, but paused midway through. It instead stared directly at Nate's mask and began to feel... a real emotion. Depression. Pure sadness. As if its entire life was meaningless.

Letting out an anguished howl, the statue flipped its spear around and impaled itself right through the chest; it crumbled to pieces moments later much to everyone's shock.

Everybody was silent and stared directly at Nate with their mouths agape.

"Oh darn. Well, maybe next time." Nate shrugged.

* * *

**(Confessional- I want my security blanket...)**

**Yuka-** "While I'm grateful that Nate saved our lives... couldn't he have done it in a slightly less creepy way? Also, how did that statue come to life? It's simply not possible!"

**Lemmy-** "I'm sorry; what happened? I was busy having a staring contest with a scarab beetle I found."

**Chris-** (Holding a remote control.) "How the heck did he do that? I was controlling the statue with my remote; it wasn't supposed to kill itself! Whatever. Let's go see what Team Venom's up to."

* * *

(Team Venom)

Over on the side of the pyramid, Team Venom looked to have an easy victory- the way ahead was perfectly clear. But as we all know, appearances can be deceiving. Let's go and investigate what they're up to now, shall we?

Malcolm remained cautious despite the apparent simplicity of the task ahead of them.

"Be careful guys. We don't know what might be in the sand or if there might be traps. After all, Chris implied earlier that we might have a rough time." he said to his team.

"Malcolm's right; for all we know, we could have chosen the hardest route. I'll volunteer to scout ahead and check for anything suspicious." Jessie offered.

Damien lightly pushed her aside and walked forwards with a confident strut.

"That won't be necessary, babe. I'll do it for you!" the doomsayer said with a cocky grin.

"Aww, thanks! That's so sweet of you!" Jessie smiled at him. Nearby, Trixie slapped her forehead and groaned.

Zillah rocked on her heels and whistled as she waited for Damien to cross; there wasn't much for her to film at the moment and she was starting to get a little bored due to her drifting attention span. She decided to strike up a conversation with Felipe to pass the time.

"So... what's your favorite movie?" she asked the young mechanic.

Felipe grinned. " El SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, definitivamente!" he stated proudly.

Zillah cocked an eyebrow. "Seriously? I never would have expected that. I thought you'd be more interested in something like 'The Fast and the Furious.' Lots of great cars in that movie!"

"Supongo que no me gusta verlos estrellarse todo el tiempo. Además, Bob Esponja tiene gracia!" Felipe replied.

Now Zillah was completely confused, but she decided to say what she thought would be right. "I totally agree with you! Anyway, my favorite movie is The Hangover. Zach Galifianakis is flippin' hilarious! Hey, that rhymed."

Felipe nodded in excitement. "Sí, me gustó su personaje en 'Dinner for Schmucks'. Classic!" the Mexican boy laughed, slapping his knee.

* * *

**(Confessional- Maybe it could get a TV installed.)**

**Zillah-** "Though I can't understand what he's saying half the time, Felipe makes a good conversation partner. I hope he lasts a while on this team; he's a pretty nice guy."

**Felipe-** (He is wearing shades and has a jokingly serious expression.) "Yo también soy un fan de Duke Nukem. 'Killing perras y mascar chicle ... y me he quedado sin goma.'"

**Queeny-** "Ugh, watching those two converse makes me want to vomit. They're both rotten scum who don't deserve to be happy; especially Felipe!"

* * *

Their pleasant talk was interrupted by a sudden shout.

"OH SON OF A #BLEEP#!" Damien yelled as he rapidly began to sink into a patch of quicksand.

Thinking quickly, Trixie mimed lifting a person up; the effort required must have been tremendous as she was visibly sweating through her face paint. She may not have liked Damien very much but she didn't want him to die.

Slowly but surely, the doomsayer was gradually pulled out of the sand as he tried to wade his way back to his teammates. Jessie and Ivan both grabbed his hands and yanked him back onto solid ground once he was close enough to reach. Panting heavily, Damien collapsed onto the ground and took some deep breaths to calm himself down.

"I see you found our little 'twist.' Haha!" laughed Chris as he pulled up on his dune buggy. "Good thing death by quicksand is covered on your contracts!"

"That wasn't funny, Chris." Malcolm frowned. Schemer or not, he was no sadist. Several other people nodded in agreement.

Olivia chuckled darkly. "I dunno. I thought it was hilarious; seeing him squirm helplessly really made my day!" she smirked.

Chris just smiled. "Good to see that at least one person agrees with me! However, we're unfortunately running out of time. So here are the following questions: Which team is going to win? Who will be voted out, and thrown off the plane? How popular will Jar-Money be with the fans? And why do I keep running out of ice cream? Find out all this and more... after the break!"

* * *

**Important announcement! I'm not going to be able to write for the next two weeks, as I'll be visiting my dad's house and he has really crappy internet. So this chapter is more of a temporary farewell present.**

**Sorry to all you camel lovers out there... but you'll see them next chapter; I promise! I would've made this whole thing much longer but I'm running on a serious deadline.**

**I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. And please leave a review; I take them very seriously. (Serious face)**

**For those of you who are fans of my other story, I'll keep working on it after the next chapter is done, 'k? :)**

**Fun fact- Damien's theme song is 'World Falls Away' by Seether. Now you know; and knowing is half the battle! G.I. Vance!... err, Joe!**

**Next time- Camel and wagon racing! Also, a solo immunity challenge for the losers, and the first contestant is eliminated.**


	3. Chapter 3: Egyptian Heat, Cold Goodbyes

**Disclaimer**- I do not own Total Drama or anything related except for this fanfic. All credit goes to the creators, Teletoon, and Cartoon Network. I also do not own the alphabet theme, that belongs to Frank15. The 27 OC's in this story DO belong to me, though, so please do not steal them or I will be very very angry face.

**Author's Notes**- Happy New Year! Yeah, I know... I haven't updated in a long time. I was busy recovering from insulin shock (Type 1 diabetes sucks), but now I'm back in action! Also, WOOHOO for surviving the apocalypse of 2012! Now for a word from Damien:

**Damien-** (Fuming.) "The world wasn't destroyed. Now what am I supposed to do?!"

One last thing: Happy (late) Birthday to CragmiteBlaster!

The first person will be eliminated in this chapter... the question is... who?

* * *

**Day 1, Part 3: Racers, Start Your Camels**

* * *

"And we're back!" Chris McLean announced, throwing his arms up into the air. Behind him, Team Venom looked at the host with several confused expressions.

"What are you talking about?" Malcolm asked. "We never went anywhere."

Chris scoffed. "Shut it, twerp. It's showbiz; you wouldn't get it."

Jessie decided to keep the conversation moving before an argument broke out. "I think that we have a few more pressing concerns at the moment. For one thing, we still have to cross this sea of quicksand in front of us!" she pointed out. "Now, does anyone have any ideas on how we can make it to the other side safely?"

"Beats me." shrugged Zillah. "And after what happened to poor Damien a minute ago, it seems that crossing on foot is no longer an option."

"Don't remind me," Damien grumbled, still shaking sand off of his robe. "After that experience I have developed a serious hatred for deserts."

"How about we go around it?" Ivan suggested with a somewhat dumb smile.

"That would never work!" Olivia snapped. "For one thing, we don't even know how long this stretch of quicksand even is!"

Ivan scratched his head. "Why?" he asked the bully.

"Because it's quicksand, doofus! One wrong step and you could end up dead!" Olivia scowled.

"Why?" Ivan asked again.

"I dunno, it just happens!" Olivia yelled with increasing anger.

"Why?" Ivan asked with his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

"Because life isn't fair! And if you ask 'Why' one more time then you're going to be sorry!" Olivia snarled.

Ivan remained silent for a moment.

"... Why?" he asked.

Olivia screamed in anger and lifted the boy off of his feet and above her head with both arms.

"THIS IS WHY!" she roared as she threw Ivan in the direction of the quicksand with all her strength. Most of their teammates gasped in horror.

* * *

**(Confessional- I'd insert a joke, but I have these really bad apathy attacks.)**

**Olivia-** (Holding her head in her hands.) "How he survived that... I will never figure it out."

**Trixie-** (She smiles and rolls her eyes as if to say, 'I really should've expected what happened next.')

**Queeny-** "Aw shoot; I really would have liked to watch that little idiot suffocate to death right then. But I guess you can't have everything you want, even though someone as beautiful and flawless as me should, am I right?"

**Damien-** "Man, deserts are such assholes!"

* * *

"Wheeeeeeeee!" Ivan sang as he soared through the air over the quicksand. The other eight members of Team Venom watched as he slowly began to fall back to earth.

"Espero que él va a estar bien..." Felipe whispered.

Ivan hit the ground a few seconds later with a loud THUD; he had landed upside-down and his entire head was buried in the sand. With a few tugs, he pulled himself free and waved at his teammates a fair distance away from him.

"Hi guys! Oh boy, that was really fun! You should try it sometime!" he called to them.

Jessie blinked. "Wait... is he standing on solid ground?"

"I do believe he is," Malcolm noted with a raised brow. Suddenly, an idea sparked in the short schemer's mind. Turning to face Olivia, he asked her, "Hey Olivia; do you think that you can- oh, I don't know- toss all of us over to the other side? It's the only option we have so far."

"No problem, short shit!" Olivia laughed. She then picked up Malcolm by the back of his shirt and threw him over to where Ivan was standing with pinpoint accuracy. The two boys collided and they were both knocked to the ground.

"... Ow." Malcolm groaned.

"Hi, Malcolm!" Ivan greeted sunnily.

* * *

**(Confessional- A flying toilet stall; isn't that absurd?)**

**Malcolm-** "Looking back, I really should have thought that out better. But I'll let it slide... this time. Olivia can stay as long as she remains useful to me."

**Jessie-** "I hope that Ivan and Malcolm weren't hurt by that collision... but if they have any cuts or bruises, I'd happily kiss them better! Or I could ask that girl Carmella for some ointment... either option works."

**Zillah-** (She has a big smirk.) "Funnily enough, Olivia couldn't toss Damien all the way over... he landed in the quicksand a second time, haha! Luckily we managed to pull him out again."

**Damien-** (He is covered in sand.) "Oh yeah, mock me all you want, but when the whole planet is consumed by the fires of Hell... we'll see who's laughing then!"

**Ivan-** "I've got sand in places that shouldn't have sand in them..."

* * *

(Team Chef is Really Really Really Really Cute)

The members of Team Chef were still busy climbing the pyramid; it was exhausting work but nobody dared to stop- it was a very long and painful way down. So far, three of the nine members of the team- Ellen, Randall, and Xerxes- had made it to the top, and were lounging around waiting for their teammates to catch up.

"So... what's new with you guys?" asked Randall in an attempt to start a conversation.

"I AM SO FRIGGIN' BORED!" shouted Xerxes, making Randall and Ellen jump up in fright. "Tell me again, just WHY are we sitting here on top of the pyramid, when we're SUPPOSED to be heading down?"

Ellen frowned. "We're some of the most physically capable people on the team, Xerxes. We're staying up here so we can keep an eye on our teammates, and help them out if they start to fall behind," the dancer explained.

"Not to mention, the view up here in incredible!" added Randall, shielding his eyes from the sun as he looked into the far distance. "Granted there isn't really a lot to see, but my point remains."

"How about we say a little bit about ourselves to help pass the time?" suggested Ellen. "I'll go first. As you know, my name is Ellen. I've been interested in dance since I was a little girl, and have entered several dance recitals and competitions in my lifetime. I've won about four of them. I auditioned for the show mainly to show off my skills, in the hopes that I'll be noticed by some professional agency."

Xerxes grinned insanely, as usual. "My full name is Xerxes Allen Boomsteel. I have an IQ of 220, and blew my arm off in a lab explosion, as I mentioned earlier."

"I thought you said you were trying to make a bomb," Ellen pointed out.

"I was. You see, I made a few... additions... to my parents' basement where I often spend my time making new inventions. Not all of them work out, though... what a shame." he sighed. "I joined the show to see how far my gadgets could get me. I'm aiming for the top!"

Randall shrugged. "I'm not terribly interesting aside from my parkour obsession. I live in a regular town, go to school, and do everything else that normal teenagers do. I signed up mostly to find a few thrills."

"What got you hooked on parkour, anyway?" asked Ellen. "It's something you rarely see nowadays."

"Mostly for fun," admitted Randall. "It just struck me as interesting. It took years of practice to perfect, of course, but I wanted to see just how much the human body is capable of."

"That's what she said!"

"Shut up, Xerxes!"

* * *

**(Confessional- Back in buisness!)**

**Ellen-** "Randall's a pretty solid guy, and combined with his skillset, should prove to be a very valuable member of the team. Xerxes, on the other hand... I don't really trust him that much. His inventions could help us, but at the same time might blow up in our faces."

**Xerxes-** "ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT I'M UNSTABLE, WOMAN?! Well I'm not. My parents had me tested multiple times."

* * *

Progress was slow for some of the other members of Team Chef. While some, like Brandi, was close to reaching the top of the pyramid, others like Preston were having a much more difficult time. The cross-dresser was slowly climbing up the side and panting heavily; the fact that he was a bit overweight and wore high heels might have had something to do with this.

"How could Seth just abandon me like that?" Preston whined as he struggled to climb up a ledge. "Doesn't he know that it's proper behavior to always help a woman in need?" The truth was that Seth did in fact know this; he just didn't give a damn. The convict probably wouldn't have helped Preston even if he actually _was_ a woman.

He continued to climb for a few more minutes before he saw Will sitting on a ledge, taking a break and sipping water from his canteen. An idea formed in Preston's mind as he watched Will drink.

"Hey there, gorgeous!" purred the cross-dresser flirtily.

Will stopped drinking and looked around wildly, before noticing Preston a few feet below him. "Uh... are you talking to me?" he asked nervously with a few twitches.

"Of course, you silly goose!" smiled Preston. "Do you see anyone else around here that I might be referring to?"

"Um... no?"

"Exactly! Now then, on to buisness. Would you mind helping a lovely lady like me reach the top of this big ol' pyramid?" he asked innocently.

Will frowned and slung his canteen over his shoulder. "Dude, you're not a woman." he told Preston firmly. "And second, what do I get out of this?"

"If you help me, honeybunch, I'll be sure to give you a very... _special_... reward." said Preston with a wink.

Will's face turned deathly pale. "WHAT?!"

This was all too much for his already traumatized mind to handle. Letting out a scream, Will turned and bounded up the side of the pyramid within seconds.

Preston stared after him. "Why does this always happen?" he pouted.

* * *

**(Confessional- Even I was scared; and I'm writing this!)**

**Will-** "First Brandi nearly breaks my bones, now Preston hits on me? What's next, Jar-Money in a dress?! No, wait, Preston already does that... why did I sign up for this competition in the first place?"

**Jar-Money-** "I assure you, you will **never **see me in a dress. Even I don't know why Uncle Chef does that sometimes..."

* * *

(Later, on the other side)

Chris was hanging out next to the pyramid interior's exit, relaxing on a lawn chair and sipping some lemonade while a pair of interns fanned him. His personal dune buggy was sitting nearby, and the sand behind it was dotted with little flags. As he basked in his luxury (or at least as much luxury as you could hope to get in a desert), Team Sandstorm emerged from the back exit, looking a little spooked but otherwise fine. Most of them smiled and cheered when they saw that they made it first.

"We're invincible, just like Chuck Norris!" Lemmy cackled.

Kendra just grumbled to herself. "Chuck Norris jokes are so overrated. Just like this show."

"Congratulations, guys!" smiled Chris as he took another sip of lemonade. "You nine are the first to reach the other side of the pyramid! Although it probably would've taken you longer if you hadn't found a way to defeat that giant robotic Anubis statue we placed inside... _Nate_. How'd you get it to kill itself, anyway?"

The emo shrugged. "... I really don't know. That happens a lot, actually."

Everyone present stared at Nate for a very long time.

Chris coughed. "Um, right. Anyway! It's time for the next part of your challenge! See those camels and wagons over there?"

The teens followed Chris' gesture and saw, to their surprise, approximately eighteen camels and nine red wagons exactly parked neatly into three separate rows. "How the hell did we miss THOSE?" asked Vance, blinking. "And what will we need them for?"

"Shut up and let me explain!" snapped Chris. "This next part is easy. Now, you can choose to ride either the camels or the wagons, but you'll probably go for the camels. All you have to do is race them to the finish line, which you'll recognize when you see a tent. First team with all members present wins! The track is marked with flags so you won't get lost or take shortcuts. As I said, easy right? Aren't I nice?" He flashed them a grin.

"No." said Ulilah flatly.

"Not really, ja?" added Helga with her usual cheery smile.

The host snarled dangerously. "Shut up you freaks! Now get moving!"

Team Sandstorm hustled off to find some suitable racing camels.

* * *

**(Confessional- You know, squirrels actually make great pets... just saying...)**

**Lemmy-** (He looks pretty banged up, but is still smiling.) "Note to self: You don't have to insert a quarter to ride a camel. Heehahahee!"

**Carmella-** "Sometimes I worry about Lemmy. His hyperactivity is going to be a real pain to deal with!"

* * *

About a minute later, the members of Team Chef slowly finished climbing down the side of the pyramid. They all appeared to be exhausted from the effort, except for Xerxes who had descended slowly to the ground with his propeller.

"Are we in first?" asked Jar-Money with a few deep breaths.

"Nope," smirked Chris, his previous anger gone in an instant. "But you're still ahead of Team Venom. The next part of the challenge is a race. First team with all members present at the finish line wins. So grab your camels and GET MOVING!"

They needn't have been told twice; all of them hopped onto the nine remaining camels and took off. "How far ahead do you reckon Team Sandstorm is?" asked Brandi to Gail. The country girl was handling her camel like a pro; her horseback riding skills were obviously being put to good use.

"I have no idea," responded Gail, shaking her head. "But as long as we don't lose the challenge, then I wouldn't mind if we don't come in first. All we need to do is focus on beating Team Venom and we're safe!"

* * *

**(Confessional- I cut myself while shaving this morning. OUCH.)**

**Brandi-** "I know we have an advantage at the moment, but I don't think its very fair that Team Venom is stuck with those little red wagons. I reckon I feel kinda bad for them."

**Gail-** "Since when has Chris ever been known to play fair?"

**Chris-** "When it benefits me or gives me cheap amusement. Duh!"

* * *

A few more minuted passed when Team Venom arrived, looking a bit worse for the wear. Nearly all of them were covered in sand and/or heavy bruises. Chris blinked in surprise at their shabby appearances, but smiled nonetheless.

"What the heck happened to you guys? You know what, I just realized that I don't care! Haha!" he jeered. Malcolm shot the host a look of disgust.

"Olivia deliberately tried to throw us into each other, for your information. But since she got us past... er, over the quicksand, I won't hold it against her." the short schemer answered.

"And when it was down to just me, I told the quicksand to #bleep# off and it did!" boasted Olivia.

Zillah groaned. "I'm not even gonna ask how she did that."

"Espera ... ¿No podríamos haber cruzado sólo de esa manera en su lugar? Al preguntarle a hacer el movimiento arenas movedizas?" said Felipe in realization.

"No Felipe; the next part of the challenge isn't a monster truck derby, as cool as that would be!" chuckled Chris in mistranslation. "Instead we're having a race! And since you guys are currently the last-place losers..."

Everyone on Team Venom shot him a glare.

"... Then you're going to be stuck riding these little wagons we have! Haha! Sucks to be all of you, doesn't it?"

Trixie considered miming wielding a shotgun for a moment, but decided against it. Instead, she motioned to her teammates to hop into their wagons and get going.

"Mime girl has the right idea; let's go everyone!" called Jessie. Soon they were all in their wagons and racing in some pretty unorthodox ways; Felipe used his wrench like a paddle, Olivia simply lifted her wagon over her head and began running the track, Queeny had somehow gotten her hands on a whip and demanded that Malcolm pull her, Malcolm was plotting on how to get Queeny eliminated, Jessie offered to pull Zillah while the latter filmed the challenge, Ivan pulled an empty wagon, and Trixie mimiced driving a racecar. To everyone's shock, she took off like a rocket.

Only Damien was left at the starting line. The doomsayer's eyes were glued onto Chris' dune buggy, and a large, unnerving grin spread across his hooded face.

"What are you still doing here, Damien?" asked Chris, eyeing him warily. "You DO realize that-"

"PLAN!" shouted Damien suddenly. He then ran towards the buggy, hopped on, and the next thing Chris knew, his $10,000 baby was being driven by an apocalypse-loving maniac with a scythe.

"... Huh. Didn't see that coming." the host said slowly.

"NOW SOMEBODY CATCH HIM BEFORE HE WRECKS IT!"

* * *

(The Desert)

Two of the teams, Team Sandstorm and Team Chef is Really x4 Cute, were intermingled with each other- neither team had a clear lead. Olivia was also present, steadily running with her wagon still above her head to help block out the harsh Egyptian sun. Also catching up were Malcolm and Queeny; the latter using her whip to "encourage" the former to run faster and not stop for anything.

"OW! Quit- ow!- whipping my- ow!- BUTTOCKS!" screamed Malcolm in pain as he ran. "Where'd you get that whip, anyway?!"

"Family heirloom," shrugged Queeny. "As for how I smuggled it in... a rich girl tells no secrets. Now mush!"

"I'M NOT A DOG!"

Meanwhile, Seth was attempting to flirt with Brandi. "So babe... I couldn't help but notice that you have some _amazing _camel riding skills." he said to her.

"Thanks!" beamed Brandi, oblivious to Seth's intentions. "My daddy taught me how to ride horses when I was little; I guess it makes ridin' camels a little easier for me!"

Seth grinned like a predatory cat. "You know, you're welcome to ride _me_ sometime if you'd like."

Brandi recoiled in horror. Sheltered country girl or not, she knew that whatever Seth was implying couldn't be good.

"Um... no thanks. I'd rather not," she mumbled nervously.

Seth's grin never faltered. "You sure about that, sweet cheeks? You know, if you and me were alone we could- AAGH!"

He never finished; the prisoner somehow fell off of his camel and hit the ground hard. He was left far behind in a matter of seconds. Brandi stared back in shock, before looking up to see Will riding on the other side of Seth's camel.

"Oh shit!" yelled Will, his eyes wide as dinner plates. "What did I just *twitch* do?! I mean, um... you okay Brandi?"

"I'm fine, Will!" she smiled gratefully. "Thanks for your help; I reckon Seth's a bit of a creep."

"No problem." Will nodded, while inwardly feeling scared.

* * *

**(Confessional- Go Will! Show that bastard who's boss!)**

**Will-** "Okay, so I *twitch* kind of kicked Seth off of his camel... but it was for a good cause... right? *twitch* Oh dear, he's probably going to be out for my blood now..."

**Brandi-** "It was so nice of Will to do that for me! I want to repay him somehow; my momma always said that one act of kindness deserves another. Maybe I can talk to him about whatever caused him to become so jittery- I'm pretty sure he needs a friend to confide in."

**Seth-** (Scowling deeply.) "Preston came back to pick me up. That does it! Will, you are so dead. Do you hear me? **Dead**! Nobody makes me look like a pushover!"

**Yuka-** "I personally hope that Team Chef votes off that Seth guy if they lose. Just looking at him makes my skin crawl; there's no telling what kind of destruction he could cause if he stays!"

* * *

Carmella and Ulilah were having a much more pleasant conversation as their camels hustled along. They were currently talking about their opinions of various teammates.

"Vance seems to have a sort of 'leadership role' on the team, but Kendra looks like the type of person who doesn't get along well with anyone." mused Carmella.

Ulilah nodded, gently urging her camel to pick up the pace- Jar-Money had just passed ahead of her, giving a motivational speech to his own mount. "That's true. I propose that we vote Kendra off if we end up losing." she suggested.

Carmella frowned. "Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, Kendra might not be the most sociable person here, but she'll probably be more useful in the long run than... well, someone like Nate."

Both girls turned to look at the emo in question. Nate was beginning to lag behind the others- maybe he simply didn't care about winning the challenge, or (more likely) he depressed the hell out of his camel and it didn't have the willpower to continue on.

"I see where you're coming from," Ulilah said, "but I have to disagree. Keeping Kendra around will only lead to conflict. But if we lose again, we'll vote off Nate. Sound good?"

"Well, let's just try and finish the challenge first and we'll see what happens." Carmella shrugged.

* * *

**(Confessional- Only I know why Kendra is such a grouch... nyeh :p)**

**Ulilah-** "Admittedly it makes me a bit nervous talking strategy so early on... but I believe it's for the best. If Kendra sticks around for long, she could cause a lot of inner team conflict... hopefully she can learn to cooperate with the others before it's too late."

**Vance-** "I wonder what Ulilah and Carmella were talking about during the race... are they planning to eliminate someone if we lose? Well, if they are, then I don't think they'll target me. But we're not going to lose in the first place if I have anything to say about it!"

* * *

As the finish line came into view, the contestants' camels were beginning to get tired. Noticing their decrease in speed, the eighteen riders urged them to move faster- alas, it wasn't enough. Now the remaining members of Team Venom began to catch up.

Felipe paddled behind Kendra's camel and grabbed onto its tail, hanging on for the free ride.

"Get off!" Kendra roared. I don't have time for games; I'm trying to win here!"

"¡Nunca!" declared Felipe as his wagon steadily gained speed. "Por Venom Team! Para México! Para los tacos!"

"What the heck are you talking about?!" screamed Kendra in rage.

Anthony and Jar-Money were neck and neck, glaring at each other with such intensity that you could see sparks fly. Both stopped, though, when Trixie drove her race-wagon past them, laughing silently. Lemmy threatened to feed his camel to the "oomoos" if it couldn't pull ahead of Jessie and Zillah. It was truly anyone's game now.

Until Damien showed up.

"GANG WAY!" the doomsayer hollered, accelerating the stolen dune buggy to top speed.

"Look everybody! Damien's coming to save the day!" cheered Ivan.

Damien floored it, and the dune buggy easily plowed ahead of the twenty-six other contestants. He shot past the finish line and crashed the dune buggy into a pile of crates. The crates, in turn, shattered to reveal numerous containers of... hair gel?

Soon, all the other contestants arrived and dismounted their camels/wagons. They collectively stared at the pile of smashed wood, spilled hair gel, and twisted wreckage of the dune buggy.

"... Is he alright?" asked Gail after a minute of silence.

"If he's not, then I'm sure I can patch him up in a jiffy!" Carmella assured everyone.

"What an idiot." Queeny huffed.

Everybody was silenced when the rubble shifted a bit. A moment later Damien's head popped up; he had an incredibly cocky smirk plastered on his face.

"Am I awesome or what?" he said, slowly digging his way out of the wreckage.

* * *

**(Confessional- He's not out of the clear yet.)**

**Jar-Money-** "After that daredevil stunt, I'm not sure if I should respect Damien or despise him. And where on earth did he get a dune buggy, anyway?"

**Jessie-** "At first I thought Damien was kind of cool, but now... I'm not so sure. He's kind of an arrogant jerk sometimes."

**Vance-** "If this were boot camp, then I'm willing to bet that Damien wouldn't last a single day."

**Anthony-** "Why were those crates filled with hair gel?"

* * *

Chris arrived soon afterwards, riding in a jeep that an intern was driving. He departed the jeep with an angry scowl, but it turned into a look of utter horror when he saw the destruction in front of him.

"My dune buggy! And... MY HAIR GEL! That was an entire season's worth in those boxes!" the host shrieked in terror.

"Why were they lying around in the desert?" asked Yuka curiously.

"They were gonna be delivered to the plane after the challenge." Chris muttered somberly. He then gave a moment of silence to the wasted hair gel before continuing.

"Well, after that little fiasco, I declare the losers of this challenge to be... Team Venom! Because Damien destroyed not only my buggy, but also my prized hair gel!"

There were several angry protests from Team Venom, and a few from the other teams, but he ignored them. "And the winners are... since I wasn't paying attention to the cameras, because I was busy chasing after my stolen property... the team that brought in the most ratings..."

Ulilah was fuming. "That is so not fair! You said that the first-"

"**SHUT UP**! The winners are... Team Chef! And the MVP is Seth, due to his _hilarious _chat with Brandi!"

Seth fist-pumped. "Kickass!"

"Team Sandstorm, you get Second Class, but you don't have to vote anybody off. However... we're not done yet!"

* * *

**(Confessional- Chris is so damn biased it isn't even funny.)**

**Helga-** "We didn't win, but we also didn't lose, ja? I'll take Second Class anyday as long as we don't go to elimination. Now, on to more important buisness... what should I make for dinner tonight; spaghetti bolognaise, or chicken with mixed vegetables? What do you all think?"

**Nate-** "Second place... yippee."

**Randall-** "I don't think we really deserved that victory... but hey, if anyone's to blame, it should be Chris. Chris is so damn biased it isn't even funny... ... ... Why do I have a sudden feeling of deja vu?"

**Zillah-** "What did Chris mean when he said we weren't done here? I smell a twist... and I'll be sure to film it when it happens!"

* * *

A few minutes later, all of Team Venom was inside the main tent, with Chris supervising. Each contestant was standing in front of a small operating table, with a squishy, fake dead body placed on each one. The other two teams were loitering around outside, forbidden from entering the tent.

"What are we doing here?" asked Queeny haughtily. "This place is disgusting! Only a poor person would set foot in here!"

"Deal with it." grumbled Malcolm, still angry at the rich brat for her earlier actions. Carmella had provided him with some ointment for the numerous welts on his skin, but his back (and butt) still stung badly.

"Attention losers!" announced Chris. "Well, most of you are losers. But when we're done here, one of you will be slightly less of a loser than the others! Haha!"

Damien just looked bored. "Let me guess. A solo immunity challenge?" he drawled.

"... Correct." said Chris, shocked and angered that the other jerk had gotten it right. "And whichever one of you wins this mini-challenge, will gain immunity, and cannot be voted out tonight! Now then, let me ask you a question: How are mummies made?"

"Necromancy?" suggested Zillah.

"Brony magic!" Ivan smiled.

"Embalming." said Damien with a knowing grin.

"Close, what the hell, and correct again!" Chris chuckled. "For your solo immunity challenge, you will have to successfully embalm a fake dead body! Because real bodies smell bad when you leave 'em in the sun, trust me. You have all the chemicals and other tools needed to embalm it. We have also provided a helpful guidebook to give you step-by-step instructions for your task."

Felipe picked up his book.

"Embalming for Dummies." he slowly read aloud.

"Yep! The first person to finish embalming their fake corpse wins solo immunity. You'll start when I finish giving the countdown. Three... two... one... GO!"

* * *

**(Confessional- Most disgusting solo immunity challenge ever.)**

**Jessie-** "... That was so gross!"

**Felipe-** "Es todo diversión y juegos hasta que alguien te tripas de adentro hacia afuera. Mi papá una vez me dijo eso!"

**Trixie-** (She hurls in the toilet.)

**Damien-** "I guess I caught a lucky break today. I know all about embalming; I once threatened to kill and embalm this kid in my town because he would NEVER stop whining about everything... I think his name was Cuthbert; I dunno."

* * *

The team set to work on "perserving" the bodies. It was pretty disgusting; I won't bother to go into detail about what they had to do lest you end up having nightmares.

Damien flipped through his handbook for a few seconds, before tossing it behind him.

"Forget that garbage!" he said to nobody in particular. "If you want to do something disturbing the right way, you have to do it your disturbing self!"

He pulled out his scythe and held it over the dummy.

"Now then, the proper way to do it is by starting with a large, three foot long... INCISION!"

Everyone cringed as a sickening CRUNCH echoed throughout the tent.

* * *

**(Confessional- ... Ew.)**

**Trixie-** (She is hurling again, only harder this time.)

**Olivia-** "Damien's a dork, but I like his style."

**Felipe-** (Shudders.) "Yo nunca volverá a ver el cuerpo humano de la misma manera..."

* * *

Jessie continued to work silently, humming to herself. She had finished removing the fake organs, and now had to fill the dummy with embalming fluid. Suddenly Jessie felt a sneeze building up- the fumes of the embalming fluid must've triggered an allergy.

"Ah... Ah... AH-CHOO!" she sneezed, backing up a bit.

She accidentally bumped into Queeny's table, and the body on it wobbled, then fell off into the sand. Queeny watched in horror as all her hard work went to waste.

"You... you... you IDIOT! You insufferable poor person!" the spoiled girl screeched. "How dare you do this to me!"

"Sorry," apologized Jessie meekly. "It was an accident."

Zillah sensed the conflict brewing and pulled out her camera. "Sweet, some drama!"

Meanwhile, Damien was adding the finishing touches to his nearly-complete corpse. His workplace was a mess, with fluids and fake organs strewn about all over the place, but he had done a flawless job so far.

"All I have to do is sew up the initial incision, and I'm done," he said to himself. "Let's see... I've got needles, but I don't have any thread... hmm."

He then reached over to the nearest person and yanked out a lock of their hair.

"YEOWCH!" Queeny screamed, reaching her hand up to feel her new bald spot.

"Thank you for your generous donation!" Damien laughed.

Malcolm smirked as he watched the commotion. Sweet, sweet karma.

After Damien sewed up the body, Chris honked an air horn to signify that the challenge had ended.

"Everybody stop! The solo immunity challenge has ended! Since Damien finished first, despite his unorthodox methods, he has won immunity from the Drop of Shame ceremony tonight!" the host announced. "Although I hope he gets voted out next time. Stupid hair gel-destroying runt..."

Carmella popped her head into the tent. "Are we going to leave soon, Chris? Anthony is starting to show symptoms of heat stroke."

Chris shrugged. "Yeah, let's go. We have nothing else to do here, and we have to be at our next destination by tomorrow."

* * *

**(Confessional- Damien's lucky this time... but not for long. Heeheehee!)**

**Seth-** "Private luxury quarters for me, baby! I guess this means I'm Chris' favorite. Heh, knowing him, he's probably gonna twist the game in my favor! As for Will, I feel generous tonight, so I'll snap his spine in half tomorrow.

"Also... I wonder if I could invite Brandi with me? Hopefully she won't have a choice. She's gonna be my bitch whether she likes it or not!"

**Vance-** "So we got second place, eh? Then I guess I can safely say: mission accomplished!"

**Yuka-** (She is praying.) Dear God; thank You for giving us the strength needed to escape elimination tonight. May You continue to watch over us as we compete in the future challenges. And please say hi to Uncle Sampson for me, okay? Amen."

**Malcolm-** "We lost the challenge, and I don't have solo immunity, but I think I've done enough to get by. And I know _exactly _who deserves to go home tonight."

* * *

(First Class)

Randall relaxed on his massage chair, humming in satisfaction as the machine worked its wonders on his back. Gail sat in front of her easel nearby, painting a vast desert landscape with a single pyramid as scenery.

"We totally rocked this challenge!" the parkour lover grinned. He raised a bottle of water in celebration. "To Team Chef, and our victory! May we have many more to come!"

"Here, here!" laughed Gail, raising her paintbrush to join him.

Jar-Money sat quietly, reading a book on philosophy. Preston had fallen asleep in his chair and was snoring loudly. Ellen fished out a couple of ear plugs and inserted them as she read a magazine on popular tourist spots.

Brandi and Will sat next to each other near the back row of seats, talking.

"I'm really grateful for what you did earlier today, Will." smiled Brandi before shuddering. "I reckon Seth isn't very nice."

Will gave her a small smile. "Oh please, it wasn't *twitch* that great."

"My point remains." the country girl shrugged. "I want to thank you somehow. Like... do you have anythin' private you want to admit? Somethin' you need to get off your chest? Because if you do, I'm willing to listen."

"... Nothing important." lied Will.

Brandi frowned. "Please don't lie to me. Momma always told me that lying is a sin. Besides, somethin' bad must've happened to you at some point... how else would you end up bein' so... twitchy?"

"You know what? I think I'm done *twitch* talking to you." muttered Will, standing up and walking away.

"... I just wanted to help." whispered Brandi.

Xerxes' voice suddenly rang out. "YES! FEAR MY LEET SEXY HACKS, CHARGER!"

* * *

**(Confessional- Everyone has their secrets, but some are worse than others.)**

**Will-** "What happened *twitch* to me is my buisness and my buisness only. If Brandi *twitch* knew... she would certainly hate me afterwards..."

**Brandi-** "Was I bein' to intrusive?"

**Gail-** (Examining her painting.) "Oh crap; Xerxes' shout made made me smudge one of the edges. (sighs) Oh well. Guess I'll have to start fresh."

**Jar-Money-** "I like First Class. I never got to live in this kind of luxury back home."

* * *

(Chris' Private Quarters)

Seth sat in the hot tub, asleep with a smoothie in his hand and a TV remote in the other. A rather... explicit... movie was playing on the host's flat-screen television.

* * *

(Airplane Canteen)

Most of Team Sandstorm were hanging around in the canteen, eating a delicious dinner that Helga had whipped up for them. Nate was the only one who wasn't present; he had wandered off to the Cargo Hold for whatever reason after receiving his tray of food.

"Thank god I'm out of that desert heat," Anthony panted, holding an ice pack to his head. "I swear I was going to melt if I stayed any longer!"

"Cheer up, corporal!" said Vance, swallowing a mouthful of chicken. "At least we're not going to elimination!"

Kendra grunted. "Don't be so so sure of yourself, soldier boy. I'm willing to bet we'll lose next time, and it'll be all your fault."

"Someone's probably having their time of the month!" giggled Lemmy. Kendra's face turned murderous.

"Why you little-!"

* * *

**(Confessional- Lemmy + Izzy = World-shattering kaboom!)**

**Chris-** "We have to interrupt to say that we are not allowed to show the things that Kendra did to Lemmy because, and I quote, 'It would make small children cry'. Aren't we nice?"

**Chef Hatchet-** "I swear; when grumpy girl gets into one of her moods, you can cut the tension with a knife. She even scares me, and that's saying something, because I was in 'Nam for crying out loud!"

* * *

(Drop of Shame Ceremony Room)

Team Venom was seated on some wooden bleachers facing the door to the plane. Next to the door was a tropical-themed poduim, which Chris stood behind. He gave a falsely pleasant smile at the nine teenagers in front of him.

"Welcome, Team Venom, to the first Drop of Shame ceremony of the season!" he said dramatically. Nobody did anything.

"Fine, don't applaud. So here's how the ceremony works. To your left you'll see the Voting Confessional; just step on in, stamp the passport of the person you want to leave, and step back out again. Simple, right? But remember: Damien has solo immunity this time. Any votes you cast for him, will be wasted and count for smut."

* * *

**(Confessional- The suspense is killing me!... Not really.)**

**Ivan-** "So... we vote for who we like the most? Then I'll vote for Jessie! I like her; she's pretty!" (He stamps Jessie's passport.)

**Zillah-** "Sorry, but you're kind of obnoxious. And you're already rich." (She stamps Queeny's passport.)

**Queeny-** "You ruined my chance for solo immunity. Now I'll ruin you!" (She stamps Jessie's passport repeatedly.)

**Felipe-** "You suck." (He calmly stamps Queeny's passport.)

**Olivia-** "I'm sick of seeing your smile." (She stamps Jessie's passport.)

**Damien-** "I vote for myself. No real reason; I just want to flaunt my immunity!" (He stamps his own passport.)

* * *

After Trixie cast her vote, everyone sat back down on the bleachers and awaited the results. Chris was reviewing the votes, smirking occasionally.

"Interesting... very interesting. Hold on a minute. Damien, why did you vote for yourself?! You're immune!"

"I have my reasons." said Damien with his cocky smile.

"Whatever, brah." Chris shrugged. He reached under the podium and came back up holding a tray of rocks.

Zillah raised an eyebrow. "What's with the rocks?"

Chris looked sheepish. "I kinda... ran out of peanut bags. However, I do have a nice collection of pet rocks laying around. If I call your name, then you're safe, and I will toss you your pet rock. The person whose name name I _don't _call must grab a parachute, take the Drop of Shame, and get to experience freefall! Haha!"

Jessie raised her hand. "Will anyone come back later this season if they get voted off?"

"Maybe." said Chris. "It's mostly the producers' decision. But I digress. The first rock goes to Damien, who's immune!"

He chucked the rock very hard, and it hit Damien in the temple.

"Ow! You #bleep#!"

"That was for my destroying my stuff!" growled Chris. "The next rock goes to... Zillah."

The filmmaker caught the rock with a smile.

"Felipe."

"Trixie."

"Malcolm."

"Olivia."

"Ivan."

Queeny and Jessie were the only ones left without a rock. Queeny looked quite smug and Jessie fidgeted uncomfortably. Who voted for her? What had she done wrong?

"You two girls were the only ones who received votes this evening. I have in my hand the final pet rock of safety. Whoever doesn't get it, must take the Drop of Shame, and hopefully not pull an Ezekiel and stow away on board. Seriously, that was just... creepy.

"The final rock goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Jessie."

The sweet girl caught her rock with a huge smile. Queeny looked absolutely stunned that she had been voted out.

"Well Queeny, your team has spoken. You must now put on your parachute, and get the heck out of here."

Queeny faced her teammates with a look of pure fury.

"You voted for me?! WHY?!" she screamed.

"Do you want the long or short explanation?" asked Malcolm.

"Short."

"You're a bitch." he said flatly. "It would be impossible to put up with you for an entire season."

Queeny snarled and opened the door to the plane. Her screams were heard as she fell.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGHHHHHH HHHHHHH! DADDY, SAVE ME!"

Everyone was silent for a couple of moments.

"Cool." said Felipe.

* * *

Chef was flying the plane, with Chris seated in the co-pilot's chair ready to give the outro. He smiled at the camera taped to the windshield.

"One destination down, and lots more to go!" the handsome host laughed. "Queeny was given the boot and Team Venom is now at a numbers disadvantage. I wonder if they'll bounce back? It would sure suck for them if they became Team Victory Junior. Which grand country shall we visit next? Will Damien pull off more stunts? Is there insurance for hair gel? And who will be the second person voted off? Stay tuned and find out next time on Total! Drama! World Tour Two!"

* * *

...

...

...

...

...

(Cargo Hold)

Nate sat alone in the Cargo Hold, an empty tray of food next to him. He was currently busy unwrapping the bandages on his hands. As the bandages fell to the floor, one by one, Nate reached into his pocket and pulled out a razor-sharp switchblade.

"They didn't hurt me..." he said to himself as he looked at his hands. They were COVERED in numerous and horrific-looking scars. Some of them appeared to be fresh.

"... They didn't hurt me... but the people back home will. Better to get it over with now, instead of have it happen later... and worse..."

Nate then flicked open the switchblade and held the cold metal to his wrist.

"But not for much longer, though. It'll end soon. I signed up to die... and die I shall."

* * *

**Votes:**

Felipe: Queeny

Olivia: Jessie

Malcolm: Queeny

Queeny: Jessie

Trixie: Queeny

Damien: Damien

Ivan: Jessie

Jessie: Queeny

Zillah: Queeny

**Total:**

Queeny: 5

Jessie: 3

Damien: 1 (Not counted)

* * *

**Dramatic chapter is dramatic. Also, my spellcheck broke. Crap.**

**Yep, Queeny is gone. I intended to make her an unlikable first boot, and not accidentally create a fan favorite like I did last time. I hate it when that happens.**

**And what's up with Nate? I tried to make that last part as scary as I could, and I liked how it turned out. This story is "seriously rated T" for a reason.**

**I know I write for Damien a lot, but hey, I like him. He thinks that since the world will end soon, that means he can do whatever the #bleep# he wants.**

**If you liked this chapter, please leave a review; I read them all!**

**Next time- What is Japan's most well-known sport? It begins with "sumo" and ends in "wrestling".**


	4. Chapter 4: We're in Japan, Man

**Disclaimer-** I do not own Total Drama or anything related except for this fanfic. All credit goes to the creators, Teletoon, and Cartoon Network. I also do not own the alphabet theme, that belongs to Frank15. The 27 OC's in this story DO belong to me, though, so please do not steal them or I will be very very angry face.

**Author's Notes-** Between midterms, science fair, more midterms, my approaching driving test, job hunting, house swapping, and recovering after being hit in the face by a door, it's easy to see why I don't have much time to update. So I devote most of my free time to writing.

A special thanks goes to American King, FrostPrince, and Ishi Bana-Bana for their kind reviews! I tried very hard to make my characters stand out, and it seems that I succeeded.

**Warning! **This chapter is pretty short, but gets weird at times. Ladies and gentlemen... fasten your seatbelts.

You know what? I'm going to write out the theme song, just this once. Because I feel like doing it.

* * *

Chris McLean and Chef Hatchet were both sitting in the cockpit of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet. As Chef flew the plane, Chris flashed his signature smile for the camera.

"Last time on Total Drama World Tour Two! We introduced our audience to twenty-six alphabetically-named teenagers from all corners of Canada; from the mentally unstable like hyperactive Lemmy and mad scientist Xerxes, to the sweet ones like ultra-huggable Jessie and kind nurse Carmella, to the just plain creepy like cross-dressing Preston and emo boy Nate- just to name a few! We also let Chef's nephew Jar-Money join the competition to help even out the teams."

"If my boy gets hurt, then you're in for a world of serious ass-whoopin', McLean." growled Chef Hatchet.

"He'll be fine, Chef. So, like last season, the first destination on our world trip was Egypt! But this time they didn't have to cross the Nile River and guard barnyard animals or tree branches. Nope, instead they had to go over, under, or around a pyramid, then race camels and little red wagons to the finish line!"

Chef Hatchet grinned. "Remember when Apocalypse Boy destroyed your-"

"I'm getting to that! The twenty-seven teens were then split into three teams of nine: Team Sandstorm, Team Venom, and last but not least, Team Chef is Really Really Really Really Cute. Preston came up with that last one."

"I like it!" smiled Chef.

"You're a lot of things, Chef, but 'cute' isn't one of them. During the challenge some of the cast formed solid friendships, like dancer Ellen and parkour enthusiast Randall. Others made tons of enemies, like convict Seth and bossy bully Olivia. And Will just twitched and screamed a lot."

"That kid has issues. Seriously, why did you let a boy with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder compete in the first place?" asked Chef.

"I told you, the producers liked his freak-outs. But in the end, it was Team Venom who ended up losing due to Damien crashing my dune buggy and destroying over 100 gallons worth of hair gel. I'm really growing to hate that guy. But after he won a follow-up solo immunity challenge, it was rich snob Queeny who took the Drop of Shame since her team couldn't stand her condescending attitude, thus making her the first official boot of the game. They may be down a member, but Team Venom isn't done yet.

"Where do you think the next challenge is located? Who will be the second person voted off? How the heck did Lemmy get so popular with the viewers? Will we ever understand anything Felipe says? And will Helga teach Chef how to make a decent meal?"

Chef roared, "She'd darn well better!"

"Find out right now, on Total! Drama! World Tour Two!"

* * *

(Theme Song- I Wanna Be Famous)

(The usual spotlights and cameras come out of their hiding places.)

_"Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine,"_

(The camera rushes past Chris in the Drop of Shame room, out of the plane and into the ocean. The camera lens clears up to reveal Lemmy underwater, wearing swim trunks. A shark tries to sneak up on him, but Lemmy turns and roars, chasing it away. Air bubbles float to the surface, showing Brandi and Vance on a pirate ship while they battle each other with wooden swords.)

_"You guys are on my mind."_

(Cut to the airplane canteen, with Gail and Ivan tied up tight and looking frightened. Chef attemps to force feed them slop, but Helga smacks his serving ladel away and scolds him. Cuts briefly to the freezer, showing Ulilah staring in worry at Anthony, who's frozen in a block of ice.)

_"You asked me what I wanted to be_

_And now I think the answer is plain to see."_

(Cut to the streets of Mexico, with Damien standing on a crate and preaching the apocalypse to uninterested passerby. Felipe is next to him, translating. Jar-Money then approaches and rolls his eyes at the two.)

_"'Cause I wanna be famous!"_

(Cut to an arena in Japan. Seth is wrestling with Olivia, both of them trying to push the other back, while Preston cheers from the sidelines and Queeny boos loudly.)

_"I wanna live close to the sun"_

(Cut to Yuka and Will walking through the Egyptian desert. The Jumbo Jet passes by overhead, causing Will to freak out and scream. Yuka whistles, and Jessie rushes in from off-screen to give him a comforting death squeeze.)

_"Well, pack your bags 'cause I've already won"_

(Cut to Kendra and Carmella sitting on some Easter Island heads and looking out at the view. Shifts to Trixie and Ellen in France, performing a mime/dance act to a cheering crowd.)

_"Everything to prove, nothing in my way"_

(Cut to Xerxes using his metal arm to hack through some thick vegetation in a Louisiana swampland.)

_"I'll get there one day"_

(As Xerxes continues his trek, Nate suddenly drops down in front of him from the treetops, with his limbs suspended by vines to keep him airborne. Xerxes screams in shock and runs away.)

_"'Cause I wanna be famous!"_

(Cut to Randall "surfing" the top of the Jumbo Jet in glee. The camera switches view to show Malcolm hanging onto the plane's tail for dear life.)

_"Na, na na na na, na na na na na, na na na na na na"_

(The camera pans up to the sun, then back down to show all twenty-seven contestants arranged in a human pyramid on top of the plane. They sing the lyrics of the theme song and dance just like in the original World Tour.)

"I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!"

(As they sing and dance, a now-thawed Anthony and Helga are shown on top of the human pyramid with their arms linked. Near the middle right, Nate is hit in the face/mask by a flying newspaper headlined "TDWT2". Beneath him, Gail laughs heartily.)

_"I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!"_

(Inside the cockpit, an annoyed Chef tilts the plane sharply, causing all of the contestants to fall off. They safely land at an airport runway with parachutes, though Seth's doesn't open and he falls flat on his face. The Jumbo Jet, bearing the show's logo, parks behind them. As the whistling tune starts, the camera turns around to show a smiling Zillah, revealing that she had been responsible for filming most of the intro. She winks as the theme song ends.)

* * *

** Day 2, Part 1: Greatest Freak-Out Ever**

* * *

(First Class)

_Flying over for a visit._

_Panic erupts as control is lost._

_Held hostage at gunpoint._

_Beating fists, struggling to escape._

_An ominous ticking sound._

_Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick._

_Thrown to the ground, crawling to safety-_

_BOOM!_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH HHHHHHH!" Will screamed, sitting up in his chair with a face of pure terror.

His shriek instantly woke up everybody else in First Class, and they all looked around in panic before their eyes settled on Will. The poor boy's skin was deathly pale and his eyes were wider than dinner plates. He was also beginning to hyperventilate.

"Will, buddy, are you okay? What happened?" asked Jar-Money in concern. The rapper sat in a chair next to his teammate, patting him firmly on the back to help steady his breathing. Will twitched violently before letting out another scream.

"NO! PULL UP! PULL UP! OH MY GOD, WE'RE ALL GOING TO FREAKING DIE!" he yelled, burying his face into his hands and sobbing loudly.

Gail left the group to head to the Economy Class section. "I'm going to find Carmella; keep him restrained until I come back!"

Jar-Money nodded as Gail departed, scooping up Will in his arms and locking him in a tight embrace so he couldn't escape. It wasn't like he didn't try, though.

"Will, snap out of it! You're safe!" pleaded Ellen. "Can you hear me? Nobody is in danger!"

"That isn't going to help," said Xerxes, shaking his head. "He's in his own little world."

"Way to be nice about it." muttered Randall.

"I hope that Gail gets back soon; he's also starting to scare me a bit!" Preston gulped nervously.

As if on cue, Carmella burst through the doors of First Class with Gail following close behind. Noticing the squirming Will, she commanded, "Jar-Money! Set him down on a seat, but keep him restrained!"

"Sure thing, Carmella." said Jar-Money, plopping himself down on a massage chair with a still-frightened Will in his arms. The nurse kneeled down in front of them and looked the traumatized boy right in the eyes. He didn't seem to notice that she was even there, instead continuing to babble and whimper randomly.

Carmella sighed. "I should've seen this coming. He's re-living his past trauma; the event that gave him PTSD in the first place. It's unfortunately a rather common occurance."

"So what can we do to help?" asked Brandi in worry.

"We have a couple of options, but I'd rather take the easy way out." Carmella smiled, reaching over to Will and pinching a nerve on his neck. Almost instantly, he stopped struggling and slumped over, unconscious.

"Whoa, he's out cold." noted Randall.

Preston grinned. "Ooh, you'll have to show me how to do that! I can use it on a handsome guy and drag him to the Cargo Hold so we can-"

"Lalalalalalala, I can't hear you!" Ellen shouted, covering her ears.

* * *

**(Confessional- Great way to start the day, huh?)**

**Gail-** "Well, that was one of the more eventful mornings I've ever had."

**Brandi-** "The worst part of it is that he couldn't even help it! I feel so bad for Will; hopefully nobody makes fun of his condition back home. I reckon that would just be plain old mean!"

**Randall-** "Thank goodness we have Carmella; she may be on a different team, but her medical knowledge is a benefit to every one of us. And I hate to say this, but if Will's panic attacks become a regular occurance, then we might have to vote him off out of sympathy."

**Carmella-** "All the more reason to keep me around, I guess. Just for the record, I probably could've snapped him out of it by slapping him silly... but it'd be awkward explaining that to him if he questioned where the red marks on his cheeks came from."

* * *

After Carmella left to head back to Second Class, Seth entered from a different door adjacent to Chris' private quarters. The thug yawned loudly before noticing Will slumped over in an uncomfortable position on his seat.

"What the #bleep# happened to the squirt?" Seth asked, curious.

"Oh, honey, it was absolutely terrible!" wailed Preston, rushing over to cling onto Seth's arm. "He woke the rest of us up with all this horrible screaming, and didn't recognize us! So we got that wonderful nurse lady to help calm him down!"

The prisoner shook Preston off of his arm before grinning dangerously. "Well good! After what that little runt put me through yesterday, I'd say his pain is well-deserved!"

"What did he do to you?" Ellen asked him.

Brandi decided to speak up. "Well, y'see, Seth was tryin' to hit on me during the camel race yesterday... and Will kinda kicked him off of his camel while he wasn't lookin'." she explained.

"And then Preston came back to pick me up," Seth grunted in conclusion. "I couldn't wait until the stupid challenge ended after that!"

"Heh, if Will was awake, I'd high-five him right now." chuckled Xerxes.

Seth scowled and headed back to Chris' room. "I'll see you failed abortions later. Right now I'm gonna go and watch some more pornos with Chris."

There was a long and incredibly awkward moment of silence.

"... Anyone up for a game of Wii Sports?" asked Jar-Money in a desperate attempt to change the subject. Almost everyone nodded in agreement to his suggestion.

Brandi tilted her hat to the side and scratched her head in confusion. "I don't get it. What's the difference between regular sports and Wii sports? And isn't this plane a little small to be playin' sports in?"

* * *

**(Confessional- The author is a pain magnet when it comes to sports.)**

**Jar-Money-** "I find it adorable how Brandi's so oblivious to the world outside her home. Signing up for this show will probably end up being a good experience for her, both socially and culturally."

**Xerxes-** "So Chris and Seth spent all of last night watching... those kinds of movies? You know what, forget it; I'm not even surprised anymore. But in the meantime, I'm inventing a little something that's certain to help us win more challenges... let's just say I know a thing or two about botany." (Xerxes rubs his hands together and cackles dementedly.)

**Ellen-** "Umm... for some reason, I no longer feel motivated to be the MVP winner in challenges... but that's just me."

* * *

(Second Class)

Team Sandstorm had chosen to abandon sleeping on the uncomfortable metal seats and instead opted to lay around the Second Class lounge in whatever positions they were happy with. Carmella had returned and sat against a wall, watching her teammates in their peaceful slumbers. Vance simply laid on the floor, snoring. Ulilah and Lemmy had found a small rug in a storage closet and decided to share it together, while Kendra was laying against another wall peacefully. Yuka was sleeping using her hair as a pillow of sorts.

The team members who weren't present were Anthony, Helga, and Nate. Helga was awake and in the kitchen, tutoring Chef on how to cook. The nurse was pretty sure that Nate was in the Cargo Hold, while Anthony was nowhere to be found.

She was so lost in her thoughts that a loud banging noise nearby caused her to jump up in fright. The noise also woke up the rest of the contestants in Second Class.

"Huh? What? Batten down the hatches! Man the poop deck! Get Chuck Norris!" cried Lemmy as he sat up quickly. "We're being attacked by airplane pirates!"

"You know, that would be an interesting idea for a movie." pondered Zillah, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Unlike Team Sandstorm, Team Venom decided to sleep on the seats. "I'll have to keep that in mind in case we visit Hollywood."

Ulilah got to her feet and stretched. "Make the pregnant girl sleep on the cold metal floor; that'll do my back wonders." she said sarcastically.

"I had a dream about talking ponies!" Ivan announced to no one specifically.

* * *

**(Confessional- If you dream that you're in a dream, you probably watch too much TV.)**

**Kendra-** "Somehow, I doubt that Ivan has reached high school yet."

**Malcolm-** "I have this nagging suspicion that Ivan's a Brony. My little sister watches that show, but I never got the appeal."

**Trixie-** (She raises a brow and shrugs.)

* * *

"I wonder where that banging sound came from," said Vance with a yawn. "I mean, I normally get up pretty early for some excercise, but that was rediculous."

"I know what you mean; I'm a light sleeper myself." Jessie added.

"Buenos días a todos!" called a familiar cheerful voice nearby.

Thirteen heads turned in the direction of the voice. Crouching on his knees away from everyone else was Felipe, holding thin sheets of metal against the plane's rusty walls and hammering them firmly into place. The loud bangs the hammer was making seemed to be the source of the noise.

"Felipe, what are you doing?" frowned Olivia, still annoyed at having been woken up.

The Mexican boy simply smiled. "Estoy arreglando esta trampa mortal increíblemente inestable," he explained. "Si la pared se rompe de nuevo, entonces no tenemos ningún gordos como Owen para tapar este momento."

"... What?" asked Kendra in bewilderment.

"I think he mentioned how Owen blocked the collapsing wall last season. So I'm guessing he's fixing it up so it doesn't happen again." Yuka suggested.

Felipe nodded eagerly and gave her a thumbs-up before continuing to work.

"If you don't mind me asking, who'd you guys vote off last night?" Vance asked the other team. "Only that I'm not very familiar with your names yet."

"We voted off Queeny, that rich snob. I was half tempted to throw her back into the quicksand when we were still in Egypt." Olivia answered with a chuckle.

"We would have voted for Damien since he cost us the challenge, but he was immune." said Zillah, jerking her thumb toward the doomsayer.

Damien grinned. "Wasn't entirely my fault. Besides, I'm not planning on going anywhere anytime soon."

He then turned to Jessie. "I bet you wouldn't like it if I left, would you, toots?"

"Please don't call me toots," mumbled Jessie in slight discomfort.

"Oh, I gotcha. How about 'sexy'?" Damien persisted.

"No..."

"Sweet cheeks?"

"_No..._"

"Eye candy?"

"_NO!_"

Ulilah had seen enough. "Why are you antagonizing her? You're going to be voted off for sexual harassment if you keep this up!" she sternly warned him.

"Hey, the world's going to end soon, so why not have a little fun before it does?" the doomsayer shrugged. He stood up and picked up his scythe. "I'm heading to the canteen. I hope there's flapjacks!"

And with that, he left.

"You guys should throw the next challenge, just to vote his ass off!" laughed Kendra.

"As much as I would like to, it isn't worth the risk. Especially if he wins solo immunity again." pointed out Malcolm. Trixie nodded in support but said nothing as usual.

"Who cares? Quick, to the flapjack room!" yelled Lemmy as he ran off to follow Damien.

* * *

**(Confessional- Now I see why Lemmy is so popular.)**

**Olivia-** "I'm surrounded by idiots. They'd better pray they don't piss me off!"

**Malcolm-** "Actually, I plan to keep Damien around for a while. Under that cocky exterior lies a very strong competitor... and that scythe is nothing to be laughed at either. I wonder where he got it?"

**Damien-** "Internet."

**Vance-** "Out of all the teams, I'd say Team Vemon seems the most disfunctional. Which is too bad, because some of them seem like pretty nice people. But leading my own team is my primary concern for now."

**Yuka-** "I feel sorry for Jessie; she deserves to have good friends and not some creep's perverted affections. On a sepatate note, I wonder what today's challenge is... hopefully something that isn't too violent for my tastes."

**Ulilah-** "You know, I can't help but feel that our team was missing a few people..."

**Ivan-** "If I win the money, I'm gonna buy a whole lot of socks! Socks are comfy on my hands and feet and head!"

* * *

(Airplane Canteen)

The teens were sitting around in the Airplane Canteen, eating the breakfast that Helga and Chef Hatchet cooked. They were given a choice of toast, bacon and eggs, a ham and cheese omelette, or (much to Lemmy's delight) flapjacks. They immediately knew who had cooked what since the ham in the omelettes and the eggs were both a little green.

"Figures Chef would make green eggs and ham." sighed Yuka, taking a bite of toast.

"I'm fine with it," smiled Vance. "Beats what they served at boot camp, that's for sure!"

"Not to mention I pretty much grew up with this stuff. At least it's edible." added Jar-Money from Team Chef's table.

Carmella looked around. "Has anyone seen Anthony and Nate?"

* * *

Helga was walking to the freezer in the kitchen to find some ice cream for dessert. Humming to herself, she opened the freezer door only to find a most unusual sight in front of her.

Anthony was standing in the middle of the room in some dark blue snowflake-patterned swim trunks, pouring buckets of what was obviously ice cold water over his head. His clothes were neatly folded on a small cot laying in a corner where he had slept.

"Ahh, nothing like a cold refreshing bath to start the day!" the cryomaniac exclaimed.

"What the-? Anthony, what are you doing in here?" Helga asked in shock.

Startled, Anthony spun around to face her. "Oh! Helga! I can explain; you see, I sorta... spent the night here?" he explained sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.

Helga nodded slowly. "Okay... well, breakfast is ready, just to give you a heads up, ja."

"Got any cold cereal?" asked Anthony eagerly.

"Probably." shrugged Helga.

"Alright. Just give me a minute to change and I'll be right out, okay?" Anthony smiled.

"Okay." Helga nodded again. She shut the freezer door and turned around to see Chef Hatchet watching her in confusion.

"What the heck happened in there?" the large cook questioned, looking up at the door.

The Swiss girl brushed past him, response toneless. "Nothing you need to see, ja."

* * *

**(Confessional- Don't try any of this at home, kids.)**

**Helga-** "... Holy crap. And he spent the night in there? Why?"

**Anthony-** (He shrugs.) "What can I say? I'm a cryo; I prefer cold places."

* * *

"This is a *twitch* pretty good breakfast." said Will, now wide awake. He apparently didn't remember anything about what had happened earlier that morning, and his teammates decided not to remind him in fear of triggering a relapse.

"Speaking of good things..." Xerxes snickered.

Gail gave him a quizzical look. "What are you talking about? Are you making some kind of illegal invention behind our backs?"

"You'll see soon enough!" the mad scientist replied cryptically.

Most of Team Sandstorm sat at another table, now joined by Anthony.

"So, where do you guys think we're heading next?" said Carmella to start some conversation. "I myself would like to visit Alaska. I heard it's a beautiful place."

"When they're not blowing up mountains looking for specks of gold." grumbled Kendra.

"... You're not very social, are you, Kendra?" blinked Anthony.

The cranky girl scoffed. "People slow you down. I always work solo."

"Like it or not, it's going to be a team effort until the merge," Yuka pointed out. "And that's a long way away. Don't you like any of us?"

Kendra was silent for a moment before speaking again. "Here's what I think. You're God's little helper, Vance is a G.I. Joe wannabe, Anthony's just weird, Carmella cares too much about every stinking creature on the planet, nobody cares about Nate, Lemmy's insane, Helga's too cheerful, and Ulilah will be useless in challenges. It shouldn't be any wonder why I don't want to hang out with you people."

Ulilah stood up in mounting rage. "Hey! I am _not _useless, sister!"

"What makes you think you can talk to your team like that, soldier?!" barked Vance.

"Shoot, I'm out of flapjacks." sighed Lemmy.

Any further arguments were silenced when Nate approached his team holding a tray of food and sat down with them. The eight teenagers watched him intently to see if he would take off his mask to eat.

"... What?" asked Nate, noticing their stares.

"Nothing, nothing." Yuka quickly assured.

Ulilah then noticed that the emo's bandaged hands were stained with red. She looked at him in alarm. "Nate, what happened to your hands? And where were you last night?"

Nate just stared back at her and didn't respond. He then got up, took his tray, and left in the direction of the Cargo Hold.

"Attention all passengers!" Chris' voice rang out over the jet's intercom. "We're going to be arriving at our second destination in just a few minutes. So finish up your breakfast and prepare for today's challenge!"

* * *

**(Confessional- They have NO IDEA what's in store for them.)**

**Vance-** "Kendra's attitude is unacceptable! She has to learn to either shape up, or ship out! In the military, you NEVER insult your brothers and sisters in arms."

**Kendra-** (Scowling.) "I meant every word that I said. Everyone might boss me around back home, but not here! Not #bleep# again!"

**Anthony-** "Kendra needs to take a chill pill."

**Will-** "All my teammates were *twitch* looking at me funny during breakfast. Why? Do I have *twitch* something on my face?"

**Jessie-** "I think it would be best if I avoided Damien from now on..."

**Nate-** "What happened to me last night is nobody's business! Not like they really care about my well-being anyway. I would've taken my own life a long time ago, but... suicide is a sin. That's why I'm hoping something in these challenges will kill me."

* * *

The Jumbo Jet soon landed on an airstrip on the outskirts of Tokyo, Japan. A small crowd of nearby civilians gathered around the plane, curious as to what was going on.

The boarding ramp lowered and Chris McLean stepped off to bask in the few scattered cheers the crowd gave to him- it seemed at least a couple of people were familiar with the show.

Damien then bolted off the plane and shoved Chris aside before pointing his scythe at the civilians.

"Take heed, all ye mortals! The end of the world is upon us!" he ranted. "No shelter will keep you safe from the pounding floods and gale force winds! The fires of the stars shall rain down upon our earth, incinerating all who stand defiant!"

The crowd just looked at him, confused.

"Oh come on!" Damien fumed. "You people are so lucky I don't know how to speak Japanese!"

"How'd you know we were in Japan?" asked Chris, brushing himself off as the other contestants departed. "I never told you that!"

The doomsayer shrugged. "I just made an assumption. Mostly 'cause that one guy there is wearing a Nintendo T-shirt."

"I could go for some sushi." smiled Jar-Money.

* * *

**(Confessional- Japan, home of the Ninja Dodge!)**

**Yuka-** (She looks really excited.) "Yay, we're visiting Japan! It might be hard to tell at first glance, but I'm actually part Japanese on my dad's side. It's why I have a Japanese-sounding name. I've even mastered the language!"

**Randall-** "Man, I'd give anything to jump around on the rooftops of Tokyo!"

* * *

A little while later, the teens were riding on a bus that had picked them up at the airstrip. As the bus weaved through the busy city streets of Tokyo, Chris stood up front to explain why they were there.

"Welcome to Japan, everyone! Like last season, our second challenge is going to take place here."

Ellen raised her hand. "Are we going to visit all of the locations from last season? Because that's pretty unoriginal."

"No, we're not!" Chris snapped. "From here on out our destinations will be entirely random. Now are there any more questions, or can I get a move on?"

"Does this challenge involve ice in any way, shape or form?" asked Anthony.

"No, it doesn't."

"Can I try some sushi? I've never had any before." asked Brandi.

"No, we're not stopping for sushi."

"Can I go to the bathroom?" asked Lemmy.

"There's no bathroom on this bus. Hold it in."

"Why did your old boy band suck so much?" asked Jessie.

"I refuse to answer that!"

"What's the square root of 1337?" asked Xerxes.

"How the heck should I know?!"

* * *

**(Confessional- What color is my underwear?)**

**Zillah-** (Laughing.) "We managed to bug him with stupid questions for the whole ride! I got so much good footage outta that!"

**Preston-** "Some of those questions were so immature! If I could put those rowdy children in time out, then I would!"

**Trixie-** (She laughs silently, and falls off the toilet.)

* * *

About half an hour and hundreds of pointless questions later, the bus parked in front of the entrance to an enormous stadium with brightly lit neon decorations. The twenty-six contestants looked up at it in awe.

"Wow. Bastante elegante." noted Felipe.

"No Felipe; we're not playing baseball. But we will be playing a kind of sport!" Chris chuckled as he led them inside the stadium. After a few minutes of walking and sightseeing, they emerged in a large circular room with a blue ring painted around the floor.

"This doesn't look like any sporting arena I've ever seen." Malcolm observed.

Chris smirked deviously. "It probably doesn't, Malcolm! Because for today's challenge, you're going to be participating in an old Japanese favorite... I'm talking about sumo wrestling!"

"Awesome!" cheered Olivia. "I get to tackle these losers!"

"You cannot imagine the joy that fills my soul." said Nate flatly.

* * *

**(Confessional- I'm sure this will be a relatively painless challenge... not!)**

**Will-** "For once I'm *twitch* thankful that Seth and I are on the *twitch* same team... otherwise he would kill me! I just hope that I *twitch* don't go up against that Olivia girl..."

**Carmella-** "I'm a nurse, not a fighter! And I'm probably going to have my hands full when this challenge is over with."

* * *

"So here's how it's going to work!" Chris announced. "I'll call up two random people from different teams. When I hit the gong, then the two wrestlers will have to try to push each other out of the ring using any means necessary. I added that part in for drama purposes! If you get pushed out, then you're eliminated and your team loses a member. The first team to lose all of their members are the overall losers of the challenge, and have to vote someone off. The next team to lose stays in Second Class, and the team that beats everyone else stays in First Class. Are there any questions before we begin?"

Everyone raised their hands.

"Are there any questions that aren't stupid?"

All but a few hands dropped.

"Will gender determine who fights who?" asked Yuka.

"Nope; we can have boy versus boy, boy versus girl, or girl versus girl." explained Chris.

Damien grew very excited at the thought of witnessing a catfight.

"How will you pick *twitch* who goes up against *twitch* who?" asked Will.

"Again, randomly. Sometimes you might be up multiple times in a row if I feel like torturing you! Haha!" the host laughed.

"Can I use the bathroom now?" asked Lemmy, crossing his legs.

Chris sighed. "Sure, but make sure you're back here soon."

Lemmy nodded and ran off to find the lavatory.

"Ya que estamos por un miembro, podemos elegir a alguien para ir dos veces si estás fuera la primera vez?" asked Felipe.

"No Felipe; there will be no panda cubs involved in the challenge this time. I'm sorry if you wanted to hold one." Chris answered in mistranslation.

Felipe sighed heavily and smacked his forehead in frustration.

Chris faced the camera and grinned. "So that's our challenge for the day; the ever-popular sumo wrestling! Who will stand voctorious and who will fall hard? Will Seth and Olivia destroy everyone, or will a hero rise? Will Nate die like he wants to? And how long does it take Lemmy to pee, seriously? Find out all this and more... after the break!"

* * *

**(Confessional- Let's get ready to rummmmmmblllllllleee!)**

**Vance- **"Since I'm the strongest one on my team, then I have the most responsibility in this challenge. I won't let my comrades down!" (Vance salutes.)

**Felipe- **"Es realmente tan difícil de entender lo que estoy diciendo?"

**Malcolm- **"Since Olivia is the only physically strong person on the team, combined with a quick observation of our opposition and the fact that we're short a member, I have reached a logical conclusion: We're screwed."

**Ulilah- **"So, Kendra thinks I'm useless, does she? Well I'll show her! I'm giving this challenge my all!"

* * *

**Oh boy, Ulilah's pissed. This should be good. :D**

**This chapter is shorter than the others, but I think the sheer amount of drama, humor, and overall absurdity makes up for it. And the theme song segment was very fun to write; you guys should try it sometime!**

**For once, I really don't have much else to say, other than... REVIEW! Honestly, what's the point in writing this if nobody tells me if they like it or not?**

**Next time- The campers wrestle for glory! Well, most of them do. Some of them just don't care.**


	5. Chapter 5: Sumo Showdown

**Disclaimer- I do not own Total Drama or anything related except for this fanfic. All credit goes to the creators, Teletoon, and Cartoon Network. I also do not own the alphabet theme, that belongs to Frank15. The 27 OC's in this story DO belong to me, though, so please do not steal them or I will be very very angry face.**

**Author's Notes- Apologies for not updating in a while, but schoolwork takes priority (even though I wish it didn't). There will be quite a bit of character development in this chapter, I hope, but fear not- I'll still throw in the funny and random moments.**

**Some things I forgot to mention before: Felipe wears a hat. Nothing special; just a pitted blue mechanic's cap. Also, Anthony has a slight Russian accent.**

**It occurred to me while writing this that regular sumo wrestling would get boring after a few rounds. Time to improvise!**

* * *

**(The Arena)**

"Welcome back, everyone!" Chris McLean announced to the camera. The twenty-six contestants gave their host several confused stares and head scratches.

"We never left," Nate said in his usual quiet tone. "You said to tune in after the break. We just stood here for a few seconds. Then you said welcome back."

"Shut it, emo!" whined Chris. "You're just a stupid broken emo kid; you don't get to interrupt me! Nobody gets to interrupt the great Chris McLean!"

"Touchy." murmured Nate.

Chris cleared his throat. "So as I was saying before, your challenge for the day is sumo wrestling. And I believe that we've stalled long enough, so let's pick our first two wrestling rookies, shall we?"

"Not like we really have a choice," Gail sighed.

"Shut. UP." growled Chris. "And just for that little comment, Gail, you're up first! And your opponent will be... Ivan!"

"Hooray!" Ivan cheered, jumping up and down. "I get to be useful! Oh boy, I can't wait!"

Malcolm facepalmed. "Goodbye, any chance we had at winning."

"Aw, cheer up!" Jessie exclaimed with a smile, glomping the short schemer from behind. "I'm sure that we can win this challenge if we just give it our best shot!"

Malcolm would've responded, but his cheeks were turning bright red from feeling Jessie's enormous breasts pressing against the back of his neck. Instead he just made a pitiful squeaking noise.

* * *

On Team Chef is Really Really Really Really Cute, Gail's teammates were giving her a pep talk. Except that they were all speaking at the same time, confusing the poor artist to no end.

"Make sure you go easy on the little munchkin!" giggled Preston.

"Don't listen to that wuss! Smash his face in, then push him out!" Seth shouted.

"Maybe you can use his own force against him? My daddy said somethin' about that once while we were herdin' rowdy cows." Brandi suggested.

"Just wait until he inevitably charges at you, then move out of the way at the last second. He'll have too much momentum to slow down, thus eliminating himself!" advised Jar-Money.

Gail raised her hands to silence them. "Guys, guys! I appreciate the help, I really do, but would it be too much trouble to let me handle this my own way?" she pleaded.

Xerxes grinned mysteriously. "Don't worry, girl. With my latest invention recently completed, you're sure to win!"

"What makes you say that?" Ellen asked, interested but wary.

Still smiling, the psycho scientist reached into his lab coat and pulled out a plant of some kind. Only upon closer inspection did Team Chef realize what it was that he held.

Will blinked. "Is that a-"

"Yep! Behold, the masterpiece that is the 42-leaf clover! Mwuahahahahahahaha!"

* * *

**(Confessional- You don't #bleep# with the clover.)**

**Randall-** "Pray tell, how exactly is that supposed to help us win the challenge?"

**Xerxes-** "Quite simple, really. Everyone knows that four-leaf clovers bring good luck, and that the number 42 is the answer to life, the universe, and everything. So if you combine them, you get a very delicate, yet incredibly powerful force of nature! It's pure genius!"

**Ellen-** "I've noticed that Xerxes seems to get a little bit more insane as time passes... I wonder if he's gone off the deep end yet."

**Malcolm-** (Smiling, with a slight nosebleed.) "You know what? Change of plans; I'm going to keep Jessie around for as long as possible... for, um, entirely strategic reasons. Yes, let's go with that."

**Lemmy-** (Panting and dripping wet.) "Sorry I'm late; there was an alligator in the toilet for some reason, so I knocked it out with the toilet paper holder. What did I miss?"

* * *

Gail and Ivan both stood on opposite sides of the ring, staring each other down. Standing nearby was Chris, now wearing a traditional Japanese kimono, and holding a giant mallet next to a gong that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. The host laughed to himself.

"Are you two kiddies ready to fight? Yes? Then let the challenge begin!" he declared.

He hit the gong with his mallet and the teams cheered their support for the wrestlers. Ivan let out a battle cry and charged straight at Gail, who spead her legs apart and held her arms out, as is preparing to catch him. Right before the two made contact, Gail suddenly sidestepped and grabbed one of Ivan's arms. Heaving, the artist spun around in a circle using the boy's momentum before releasing him, flinging Ivan away from her.

"Gail! Use Take Down!" Vance shouted.

"... Did you just make a Pokemon reference?" blinked Carmella.

Gail did indeed use Take Down. Now on the offensive, she lunged at the dizzy Ivan and smashed her shoulder into his stomach. Ivan flew backwards and out of the ring, colliding with Malcolm who was innocently standing around minding his own business.

"... Ow." Malcolm groaned.

"Hi Malcolm!" said Ivan cheerily, laying on top of his teammate.

"And Ivan is out!" Chris declared. "Gail hereby wins the match and is still in the game!"

* * *

**(Confessional- Ivan and Malcolm colliding- sound familiar?)**

**Ivan-** "I don't really care that I lost! I had fun out there, and that's all that matters!"

**Olivia-** "Ivan is beyond useless. If that was me out there, Gail wouldn't have stood a chance!"

**Gail-** "That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I just hope that I didn't hurt Ivan too badly, though... he's a nice guy. Not the brightest bulb, but definitely friendly."

**Helga-** "To be honest, I don't really like this challenge that much, ja. Too much violence."

* * *

As Team Chef cheered for Gail, Chris checked a list in his hand and crossed Ivan's name out with a pen.

"The next match is going to be... Kendra versus Jar-Money! Oh man, I can't wait to see how this turns out. Haha!"

The two contestants entered the arena confidently. Kendra cracked her knuckles while Jar-Money cracked his neck. Everybody else fell deathly silent as they waited in anticipation for the match to start.

BONG! Chris hit the gong.

Both wrestlers charged towards each other and collided with the force of a runaway train. Though Jar-Money was much bigger in terms of raw power and girth, Kendra made up for it with sheer determination. They locked arms and glared at each other with ferocious intensity.

"I can do this all day," smirked Jar-Money. "How 'bout you?"

"Show me what you've got, big man!" Kendra grunted, straining to keep Chef's nephew at bay. She was about to eat her words.

The large rapper grinned. "As you wish." He suddenly released his hold on the girl and delivered a powerful belly-flop attack, knocking Kendra back and briefly stunning her. Before she could recover, Jar-Money slammed into her one last time, sending Kendra flying out of the ring.

"Kendra has been eliminated from the challenge! Wow, Team Chef has some pretty strong members." Chris chuckled.

"That wasn't fair! He's fat; of course he would have an advantage over a skinny girl!" Kendra roared.

"Well, it's your fault for provoking him." Zillah shrugged.

Kendra spun around and gave the amatuer filmmaker a death glare. "Don't. Talk. To. Me!" she hissed.

"Learn. To. Speak. Normally." replied Zillah calmly.

Chris interrupted, "Round three pits Damien against Will!"

* * *

**(Confessional- It seems that Xerxes' 42-leaf clover works so far!)**

**Zillah-** "Sheesh, Kendra's such a grouch. She'd better have a good reason to make her behavior excusable."

**Kendra-** "Stupid Zillah. Stupid challenge. Stupid everything..." (Kendra grumbles unintelligibly.)

**Will-** "Okay, so it's *twitch* my turn to go up now... heh heh... yeah, I'm not really looking forward to *twitch* fighting Damien..."

* * *

Will stood in the arena, nervously facing a grinning Damien. Likely to boast, the doomsayer impressively twirled the scythe in his hands a few times before planting it on the floor and making a throat-slitting motion. Will 'meeped' and trembled in fear.

"Damien, as much as I hate to say it, weapons are not allowed in the arena. You're going to have to leave that thing somewhere else." Chris frowned.

"Come on! Why can't I use it?" Damien whined. "It's basically farming equipment; would it be any different if I had a rake instead?"

Chris shrugged. "Rules are rules. You're not allowed to kill the other contestants on the show, no matter the circumstances."

"I wasn't really going to kill the twerp with it, yeesh!" Damien scoffed. He carelessly tossed the scythe to his teammates, and thankfully Trixie managed to catch it before it could cause gruesome harm to anyone.

BONG!

The gong sounded and the third match began. Driven by fear mixed with adrenaline, Will lunged at Damien and punched him in the gut, staggering him. Recovering quickly, Damien countered with a low sweep kick, knocking Will's legs out from underneath him and sending the smaller boy to the floor. The doomsayer pounced on top of him, but Will was ready, hastily rolling backwards to throw Damien off. The two continued to trade blows as their teammates watched.

"Oh my god, they're goin' at each other like animals!" Brandi exclaimed, shocked.

"C'mon, Damien! Prove to us that you're not worthless!" Olivia said half-tauntingly.

"Si perdemos esto, su culo se va a casa!" Felipe yelled, cupping his hands in front of his mouth.

"Yeah, what Felipe said!" added Ivan helpfully.

Back in the ring, Damien was panting. Will was a lot tougher than he thought he'd be- before, Damien had simply regarded his opponent as a twitchy nervous wreck. He needed a way to end this match, and fast.

You could almost see the light bulb above his head as he gained an idea... a very immoral one.

The two clashed one more time and entered a stalemate; everyone on all three teams eagerly watched to see what would happen next. Well, not Nate, but he doesn't count.

Damien grinned sinisterly before putting his plan into action. Clutching Will's shoulders, he brought up his leg and kneed the poor guy right in the place where the sun don't shine.

"EEP!" Will squeaked, dropping to the floor and clutching his nuts in agony.

"Hey! That was a cheap shot, you jerk!" Yuka hollered.

Smirking, Damien circled around and punted Will with all his strength. The traumatized guy sailed through the air and crash-landed in a heap in front of his teammates, groaning.

"I guess Damien wins that one. New rule: No kicking a guy in the balls!" said Chris.

* * *

**(Confessional- Maybe I should sic Lemmy on him.)**

**Chris-** "Normally, Will would've lost when he fell to the ground earlier. Basic rule in sumo wrestling. But since I'm the host, I make the rules this time! Haha!"

**Will-** (Still in pain.) "Well... at least I *twitch* don't have to do anymore fighting."

**Xerxes-** "Even the clover can't protect against crotch shots. Hmm, I think my next invention should be steel-enforced underwear."

**Jessie-** (Really pissed.) "That insufferable asshole! As if the flirting wasn't enough? Any chance Damien and I had of becoming friends is officially GONE!"

**Damien-** "Am I a jerk, or am I a jerk?" (He chuckles.)

* * *

As Will's teammates comforted him over his loss, Chris announced the next match.

"Damien's still up. And his opponent is... Randall!"

"You go up there and punish him, handsome!" Preston called encouragingly. "Spank him if you need to!"

Randall gave his cross-dressing teammate a creeped out expression as he entered the arena. Damien, feeling invincible over his victory against Will, decided that a little trash talking was in order.

"Look, buddy, I'm in a good mood today." he said, crossing his arms and smiling smugly. "And I honestly might feel a little guilty about kicking your ass."

Randall frowned.

Damien continued, "Unfortunately for you, I'm going to have to do it anyway. But we can make this quick and- OW!"

"STOP HITTING ME!"

"HEY, QUIT IT!"

"YOWCH!"

"HAVE MERCY!"

"OH GOD, MY SPLEEN!"

"HOLY SON OF A-"

"BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!" screamed Damien as he soared over his teammates' heads. He crashed face-first into a wall and slumped to the ground, knocked unconscious by the impact. Trixie approached his still form and threw his scythe down next to him.

Back in the ring, Randall dusted off his hands. "Well, that worked out nicely," he said, smiling.

"Round five is Randall versus Carmella!"

Randall's smile disappeared. "Wait... I have to fight a girl?"

* * *

**(Confessional- Damien's gotten his first dose of karma.)**

**Damien-** (Nursing a black eye.) "Stupid Randall and his lightning-quick movements... if I had my scythe, things would have gone differently!"

**Carmella-** "Randall looked really nervous when he learned that we had to fight. I don't understand why; I'm not much of a fighter."

**Randall-** "No way, Chris! I REFUSE to hit a girl!"

* * *

Carmella let loose a flurry of jabs towards Randall, but just like he had been doing for the past minute and a half, the parkour practitioner swiftly dodged all of them. Even though Carmella was now wide open to be hit, Randall made no move to attack. Instead he just backed away a few steps.

"What are you doing, douchebag?!" Seth shouted. "Quit prancing around like a stupid pixie and DESTROY HER!"

Most of Team Chef gave the convict a sharp glare. Sure, Randall wasn't making any progress in the fight, but at least he had manners- something that Seth clearly lacked.

Ellen tapped Brandi's shoulder to get her attention. When the country girl noticed her teammate, the dancer gestured to a space nearby for them to talk privately.

"Somethin' you need, Ellen?" Brandi asked when the two were a good distance away from the others.

"Kind of," Ellen answered. "I've just been thinking lately. Our team is powerful, but we're almost certain to lose sometime. A perfect run to the final nine probably won't happen. So when we go to elimination, the logical thing to do would be to vote out the weakest link."

"Makes sense," nodded Brandi. "So we vote off someone like Preston? I reckon he ain't very strong."

"Can't argue with you there. But I suggest that we vote for Seth instead; he's nasty, and you know that first hand. Even if he is useful, he's still a menace." said Ellen.

Brandi shrugged. "Alright, but I reckon we should wait until the challenge is over before makin' these kinds of decisions. We still have a good shot at winnin' this!"

"Now that's the kind of spirit I like to hear!" Ellen smiled.

Unbeknownst to the two girls, someone was watching in on their conversation. Although the person in question couldn't hear what they were saying, he knew that something was up.

* * *

**(Confessional- Uh-oh. Is Seth in trouble?)**

**Ellen-** "While I'd prefer not to make any big moves during the game, drastic times call for drastic measures. I haven't seen Seth show anyone an ounce of goodness since I got here!"

**Seth-** "I can't help but feel that someone was saying bad things about me... and if I find out who they are, I'LL CRUSH THEIR SKULL!"

**Brandi-** "I hope I wasn't just roped into one of those 'alliance' things. From what I've heard, they have a tendency to end badly."

**Malcolm-** "Hmm, I wonder what Brandi and Ellen were talking about. Perhaps they have an alliance? Or maybe they were discussing who they should vote off if their team loses? This might put a kink in things; my master plan depends on each team having at least one weak-willed or gullible person stick around for a little while. (His eyes widen and he faces the camera.) Did I just say that out loud? Eh; it won't make a difference."

* * *

Chris yawned as Randall continued to dodge Carmella's swings. "You know what? I've had enough of this. So I've decided that Randall wins and Carmella loses."

"What? Why?" Vance yelled from the sideline.

"Because Randall could've kicked her butt if he wanted to," Chris explained. "And besides, she's only a weak girl! She couldn't possibly fight like men can!"

Every girl and nearly all of the guys (especially Preston) gave their host a venomous glare as Carmella stepped out.

"Next match is Randall... and Ulilah!"

"WHAT?! I have to fight for the third time in a row, and now I'm up against a pregnant girl? Now I feel _really _bad!" Randall choked, close to tears.

Ulilah entered the ring and gave her opponent a look of sympathy. "I'm so sorry, Randall..." she said softly.

BONG! Chris hit the gong.

Randall sighed and fixed his eyes on the ground. "It's okay, Ulilah. But I don't think I have the heart to- OOF!"

While Randall wasn't looking, Ulilah had charged forward at an impressive speed and tackled him out of the ring. The lanky boy hit the floor, sprawled out on his back, with Ulilah kneeling on top of him.

"Again, I'm sorry... but I have to prove that I'm not worthless." she smirked victoriously.

Nearby, Chris was openly laughing. "Okay, okay!" he said, wiping away a tear. "I know that they're both technically out-of-bounds, but I have to give the victory to Ulilah because that was pretty dang hilarious!"

"I'm not laughing." Nate said stoicly.

"And just for that little remark, Nate is up next! And his adversary will be none other than Olivia!"

Olivia grinned murderously. She hadn't beaten anyone up lately and her knuckles were screaming for fresh meat.

"Good luck out there, Nate!" Yuka smiled encouragingly, patting Nate on the back.

Nate brushed her hand away and left his team to enter the arena. "Stop pretending like you care; I know you're secretly eager to watch me lose."

* * *

**(Confessional- This could be a battle of the ages... then again, maybe not.)**

**Ulilah-** "HA! Who's useless _now, _Kendra? I said I'd give this challenge my all, and I meant it with every fiber of my being! (She blinks a few times.) I'm so sorry; I'm usually not this aggressive. But what Kendra said before really hit a nerve."

**Kendra-** (She scowls.) "This changes nothing."

**Gail-** "Randall might've lost the match, but he still wins my respect. It was very honorable of him to not hit a girl. Even if we lose tonight because of his mistake, I won't vote for him."

**Vance-** "Olivia's a force to be reckoned with. After we're done here, Nate will probably qualify to recieve a Purple Heart."

* * *

Everyone watched the bizarre sight in front of them, unable to look away even though most of them wanted to. Nobody spoke a word. Even Chris stayed silent, not quite sure what to make of the spectacle. He may have been a sadistic man at heart, but this was overkill even by his standards.

Olivia had Nate hoisted up by the neck of his hoodie and was repeatedly punching him in the ribs with no sign of slowing down. Nate was offering no resistance whatsoever.

"C'mon, Nate! Give her the old one-two!" called Lemmy.

"This is horrible!" Helga whimpered, covering her eyes.

Chris scratched his head in confusion. "Um, Olivia, you know you're just supposed to get Nate out of the ring, right? Beating the life out of him isn't required."

"I know," Olivia smirked, "but hey, he's not resisting! It's been too long since I had such a good punching bag!"

"Happy to help," Nate moaned in pain.

"Shut up!" Olivia snarled, roughly throwing her victim to the ground. She then began to stomp on him with the heel of her boot.

"Yeah, you like that? You like that, emo?" she teased, continuing to beat him.

Chris looked a more than little disturbed. "Okay, I'm going to end this madness before she kills him. Olivia wins, Nate loses. Now both of you get off!"

"Aww, come on! He and I were just havin' a little fun!" Olivia groaned. Nevertheless, she picked Nate up off the ground and flung him into a random corner. He landed in a painful heap, making no effort to stand up.

"Umm... should I go and check on him?" asked Carmella, concerned for her teammate.

"I wouldn't bother if I were you; Nate's already broken beyond repair." Chris shrugged. "And although I'm not quite sure how, the girls are dominating this challenge! So our next match will be... Brandi versus Jessie!"

"Good luck, Jessie!" Zillah told her friend. "You can win this; go out there and avenge Ivan and Damien!"

Jessie gave the movie maker a blank stare.

"Well... avenge Ivan, at least." Zillah chuckled nervously.

"That's better!" Jessie chirped.

* * *

**(Confessional- A very fanservice-y matchup!)**

**Brandi-** "A lot of the guys looked really excited when they learned me and Jessie would be fightin'. I wish I knew why."

**Preston-** "Brandi and Jessie are both very sweet... but honestly, I like the boy against boy matches better. Watching those sweaty guys spar... it makes me feel so pleasantly tingly!"

**Damien-** "... ... ... I have the weirdest b-" (Camera cuts to static.)

* * *

One intense match and a plethora of nosebleeds later, Brandi had managed to shove Jessie out of the ring thanks to her better physical strength. Jessie winced when she landed on her bottom, but smiled gratefully when Felipe offered a helping hand to get her back onto her feet.

"Don't feel too bad about your loss, Jess," said Damien, approaching the two with a tissue held to his nose. "I for one thought that you did a spectacular job."

"Amigo, no es probablemente una buena idea enojar ahora mismo. De lo que acabamos de presenciar, es más que capaz de patear el culo." warned Felipe.

"Thanks Felipe, I made this robe myself!" Damien stated proudly.

Felipe rolled his eyes. "Yo diría que la muerte cerebral, pero no creo que su dura cabeza llevaría un registro de ese hecho."

"What do you want, Damien?" sighed Jessie.

Damien's grin said it all. "Well... since we're both out of the challenge... I was wondering if you wanted to head out back and make out behind a dumpster or something."

"NEVER!" Jessie screeched. "Why do you keep coming on to me? Who do you think I am, some kind of slut?!"

"Nope." Damien answered simply. "But you're definitely the hottest girl here, so I think you and I should have a bit of fun before we all die. You know, for kicks."

"Es que en serio la manera en que funciona el cerebro?" Felipe inquired.

Damien thought for a moment. "Yeah, I guess I like cereal."

Felipe sighed in exasperation, threw his hands up in the air, and walked away.

* * *

**(Confessional- I use Google Translate to write for Felipe.)**

**Felipe-** (He's reading a Spanish-to-English dictionary.) "Damien... needs... another... ass kicking."

* * *

Helga and Ellen were the next pair to fight; due to Helga's bulk (a consequence of living on good food) and Ellen's agility, both girls seemed to be evenly matched. While their respective teams cheered their support, Ulilah left Team Sandstorm's spot to check on Nate, who was still laying where Olivia had thrown him.

"Need a hand?" she offered sweetly, crouching and extending her hand to her depressive teammate.

"Go away," Nate responded bitterly. "Just leave me here to wallow in pain. I think some of my ribs are fractured."

"Come on, Nate..." Ulilah coaxed. "I'm trying to help you. Can't you see that everyone on the team cares for your well-being?"

Nate didn't answer.

"Because we do," she continued to speak. "Especially Carmella. She was fussing over where you were last night, thinking that you'd gone and hurt yourself."

Nate thought back to the night before, and could suddenly feel the weight of the switchblade hidden in his pocket. He sniffled and a few tears escaped his eyes, but since he was wearing a mask, it was impossible for anyone to see.

Ulilah took a deep breath before continuing. "Nate... this morning at breakfast, I noticed that the bandages on your hands were stained red. Why?" she asked softly.

"... I spilled fruit punch on them while I was eating," Nate lied.

"Alright; I'll choose to believe that. But please understand that we're your teammates, and we only want the best for you." Ulilah informed him. With those parting words, she stood back up to her full height and left to rejoin the rest of the team, who groaned when Ellen finally managed to defeat Helga.

Nate watched her go in silence, before drooping his head and sighing miserably.

"I wish that I could believe you, Ulilah... I really wish I could." he whispered. "But no amount of love and compassion will ever heal my shattered soul..."

* * *

**(Confessional- Nate tends to get poetic when he's at his most down... which is often.)**

**Nate-** "Ulilah should be focusing on her own life instead of prying into mine. There's not much to say about me, anyway. At least, nothing happy."

**Yuka-** "Nate's an enigma to all of us. I wonder what goes on inside his head..."

**Chris-** "Thankfully, intentional death is covered in the contracts, so if Nate kills himself, it's no skin off my handsome back. Haha!"

* * *

Anthony dodged a blow from Gail and countered with a left hook to her stomach. Winded, Gail wobbled backwards a few steps as she attempted to regain her breath. This gave Anthony time to take the offensive, grabbing the artist by the shoulders and easily tossing her out of the ring.

"Anthony wins!" Chris announced.

The cryomaniac let out a victory shout and jumped for joy.

"Yes! I'm going to get some ice cream to celebrate!" he cheered, dashing out of the arena and making his way toward the building's exit.

Chris began to protest, "Wait! You're still up! You can't just- Aw forget it. Guess I'll have to move on, then. The next match is Malcolm..."

Malcolm stepped into the ring confidently.

"... and Preston!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Preston squealed, eagerly hopping into the ring. "I get to be up, yaysies! And hi, Malcolm darling!"

Malcolm spun around on his heel and walked back to his team. "Sorry guys, but there's no way in hell I'm even touching that thing, let alone wrestling with it."

"You'll be disqualified from the challenge," Chris warned.

"I'm willing to take my chances."

"Party pooper," Chris frowned. "Hmm... Preston, you're still up. And I think I'll send in... Yuka!"

* * *

**(Confessional- Malcolm's had a lot of bad luck so far, hasn't he?)**

**Malcolm-** "No. Just... no. That's all I have to say."

**Olivia-** "Normally I'd be pissed at Malcolm for bailing on us. But I guess, in this case, he had a good reason to do so. I mean, it's Preston, people!"

* * *

Preston charged at Yuka with his arms spread wide and occasionally stumbling thanks to his high heels. Yuka stood perfectly still, watching her opponent with a curious expression. She shrugged, then took on a battle-ready stance.

Before the overweight, gender-confused boy could reach her, Yuka lashed out with a flying jump kick that connected with his chest. Preston was floored by the impact, but as he slowly began to stand up, Yuka attacked him again with a mixture of lighning-fast punches, kicks, chops, and other martial arts moves he was unable to block.

"Whoa. Now that's some fancy stuff!" Vance remarked.

"Oh dear, who would've guessed Yuka knew karate, ja?" added Helga.

"C'MON, WIMPY CHURCH GIRL! KEEP WAILING ON HIS ASS!" hollered Seth.

"Uh, dude, you know that he's our teammate, right?" Xerxes said hesitantly.

Seth shrugged nonchalantly. "I know. I just don't give a damn; in fact, I'd say it's payback for messing with me! Just like Will's panic attack this morn- MMPH!"

Xerxes quickly clamped his metal hand over Seth's mouth, but it was too late; Will had heard what Seth said.

"I... I had a *twitch* panic attack this morning?" Will asked nervously.

"... Kind of," admitted Xerxes.

Ellen, having heard the conversation nearby, approached Will and gently laid a hand on his shoulder. "Xerxes is right; we had to have Carmella come in and pacify you before you ended up hurting somebody. She said that you were re-living your past trauma, whatever that may be... I'm sorry we didn't tell you, but we thought it'd be best for your health."

"It's okay," Will sighed. "That *twitch* wouldn't be the first *twitch* time that's happened. More like the *twitch* third."

"You know what might've caused it?" Xerxes asked, unaware that his grip over Seth's mouth and nose was making his face turn blue.

"It happens mostly when *twitch* I'm in a stressful environment. Like the Jumbo Jet," Will explained.

"Because it's a flying death trap, right?" Ellen asked.

"More or less," Will shrugged.

Any further conversation was interrupted when Preston crash-landed next to them, battered and twisted into an unnatural position. The cross-dresser groaned in immense pain.

"This is why I'm not a lesbian." he managed to say before passing out.

* * *

**(Confessional- Are they going to restrain Will to the chair from now on?)**

**Xerxes-** "Will's a decent fellow when he's not having an episode. He didn't deserve whatever gave him PTSD. But moving on to more serious concerns... (He takes out his 42-leaf clover.) We've lost four team members already! Does this thing even work?!"

**Brandi-** "Man, that Yuka girl sure is stronger than she looks. She'd really make a fine helper at my family's farm."

**Yuka-** (Blows imaginary smoke off her knuckles.) "If you had over 200 pounds of cross-dresser coming at you, then you would've done the same exact thing."

**Vance-** "Yuka's stereotype should be changed to the 'Kickass Schoolgirl' in my opinion! By the way, Lemmy wandered off sometime during the fight... now where'd he get to?"

* * *

Chris checked Preston's name off his slowly shrinking list. "Alright, so the next matchup is Felipe versus Lemmy! Come on up, guys!"

"Es hora clobberin!" said Felipe. Lemmy, however, was nowhere in sight.

"Um... Lemmy? It's time for you to wrestle!" Chris called out. Still no response.

All of a sudden Lemmy's voice rang out. "Hot dogs! Get yer hot dogs here! What's a good sporting event without hot dogs and some good 'ol fashioned Cola? And while you're at it, place a bet on who you think will win the matches!"

Every head turned in the direction the voice was coming from. Sure enough, there was Lemmy, standing in a booth that hadn't been there a minute before with a rotisserie hot dog machine, a cooler packed with soda, and a jar placed next to him that read "place bettin moniez heer". For some reason he was aslo wearing a hot dog costume.

* * *

**(Confessional- I'm sorry; I just had to put this in!)**

**Jar-Money-** "Can that kid get any more random? But still... food!"

**Kendra-** (Smacks her forehead.) "Idiot."

* * *

"Lemmy... what the hell are you doing? Shouldn't you be in the ring, wrestling with Felipe?" Chris inquired.

Lemmy hastily left his booth, shoved Felipe out-of-bounds, and ran back in.

"Does that count?" he asked eagerly.

"... I guess it could." Chris shrugged. "As long as I get a discount on the food!"

"Hey! No es justo!" Felipe shouted, picking himself up off the ground. "Usted no alcanzó siquiera el gong!"

His words fell on deaf ears (not like they could understand him anyway) as nearly everyone gathered around the booth to buy refreshments or place bets on matches. Felipe sighed dejectedly, but perked up in surprise when he felt a cloth-covered hand rest itself on his shoulder.

"I understand if you're feeling down," Nate told the Mexican boy. "But it would be in your best interests to let it go. Besides, your team might still win."

"How?" asked Felipe.

"Olivia," Nate answered, subconsciously rubbing his sore ribs. "She's got the strength of a bear."

Felipe chuckled lightly. "Sí, supongo que tienes razón. Pero, por qué estás tratando de ayudar a animarme? No eres un chico emo?" he questioned.

"Just because I'm constantly suffering, that doesn't mean I want everyone else to go through what I am. I wouldn't wish that fate on anyone." said Nate.

With nothing more to say, Nate left to go brood in a corner. Felipe watched him go, before realization hit him like lightning. Did the emo boy, of all people, just understand what he had said?

* * *

**(Confessional- How many of you missed that the first time? Honestly, how many?)**

**Felipe-** (He looks ecstatic.) "Hurra! Alguien realmente entendido lo que he dicho, y no decir algo estúpido a cambio! Quiero decir, es una lástima que Nate está deprimido y todo eso, pero, pero si necesita un amigo, voy a estar allí para él!"

**Nate-** "When you've been alone and abandoned by society, you have a lot of free time to do what you please and pick up some handy skills. For the record, I'm fluent in about five different languages. Not that anyone cares."

**Zillah-** "Whoa, whoa, hold the phone. Did I just look behind my shoulder and see Felipe having a steady chat with Nate? How's that even possible?"

* * *

The next round was Vance against Seth. Both boys, one a soldier in training and the other a heartless prisoner, were both evenly matched in terms of strength and locked arms in the center of the ring.

"Give it up, Private Pussy!" taunted Seth. "You'll never be able to push me out!"

"The day I give up is the day I die a coward," Vance retorted through gritted teeth.

"This is great, isn't it?" Malcolm said to Trixie. "Watching the strongest players on both of the other teams tire each other out. If this keeps up, we should escape elimination tonight."

Trixie nodded in agreement and made a few hand gestures.

"... I'm guessing you said that Team Sandstorm will likely lose?" Malcolm asked her.

Trixie nodded again. She pointed at Vance (who had Seth in a headlock), then at Yuka, then Olivia, and finally towards Jar-Money, Brandi, and Ellen.

"I see where you're coming from," Malcolm noted. "We may only have three people left, but I still think we have a chance to come in second. Team Chef will no doubt win... how about we place bets on that outcome?"

Trixie rubbed her hands together and smiled eagerly as she left with Malcolm towards Lemmy's booth.

* * *

Back in the ring, Vance was pushing his strength to the limit trying to hold Seth's hands away from his throat. The thug had kicked him down earlier and pounced on top of the cadet, enraged and heavily bruised. One of Seth's eyes was swollen shut from a hard jab Vance had landed earlier.

"Holy crap... how's he going to get out of this?" Zillah pondered, eagerly filming the brawl.

Next to her, Jessie pouted. "This isn't sumo wrestling! This is just horrible, nasty violence! How does Chris get away with this?"

"Because I'm the host!" Chris called out from his spot next to the gong.

"C'mon! Just let me grab your neck so I can break it!" Seth barked.

Vance's arms were growing tired; unless he found a way to overpower Seth, and fast, the cadet was pretty certain that his opponent would follow up on his threat. So Vance did the only thing he could think of: Snort loudly, then spit right into Seth's eyes.

"HOLY #BLEEP# MY #BLEEP# EYES! YOU'RE GOING TO #BLEEP# PAY FOR THAT YOU #BLEEP#!" Seth screamed in rage, getting up and staggering around aimlessly.

"Language, mister!" scolded Preston.

"SHUT UP!"

Vance proceeded to punch Seth multiple times in the face and upper abdomen while he was blinded. "Is power and cheap tricks all you know?" Vance growled. "Well, I didn't want it to have to come to this, but two can play at that game!"

With a powerful, final shove, Vance knocked Seth out of the ring. Team Sandstorm, and even some members of Team Chef, went wild with cheers.

"What the-? I'm on your team, you brain-dead douchebags!" shouted Seth.

"Don't care!" Xerxes smiled.

* * *

**(Confessional- I wonder who made money off of that fight.)**

**Vance-** (Panting.) "That... was tough. But I still won, thanks to years of strict military training! This is a proud day for the Canadian Army!"

**Seth-** "Private Pussy better sleep with one eye open tonight."

**Carmella-** "The way things are going, I'll probably have to stay up all night patching up these injuries."

**Lemmy-** (Wearing his hot dog suit and counting money.) "Win or lose, one thing's for certain: I'm not going home empty-handed."

* * *

Things went on like this for a while. Wrestlers fought, people were unceremoniously thrown into walls, Chris laughed at their pain, and Lemmy continued to make bets and sell food. Eventually, only four competitors were left in the challenge: Brandi, Jar-Money, Olivia, and Vance.

Brandi fought hard to push Vance out of the ring, but the army enthusiast was too strong for her to handle. She was eliminated, leaving only one member left per team, though Vance was clearly tiring out.

"I don't know how much longer I can keep this up, troops..." he panted heavily.

"You can do it, Vance! I bet twenty dollars you would get to the finals!" Anthony urged.

"Gee, thanks," Vance said sarcastically.

"The semifinals- the match that will determine the losing team- is now underway!" Chris announced. "Will Vance and Olivia please step up!"

Olivia grinned and cracked her fingers. Vance tried to look confident, but it was clear that he was worried. Chris hit the gong to signify the match's start.

"CHAAAAAAARRRRRRGE!" Vance boomed, catching Olivia off-guard. The cadet rushed at the bully in a reckless, full-body tackle. While this tactic might've seemed good on paper, in actuality, Vance was making the same mistake that Ivan did back in the first round. But fatigue makes you desperate sometimes.

Before Vance could reach her, Olivia simply sidestepped out of the way, and Vance barreled past her... and out of the ring.

"Olivia wins! Teams Venom and Chef are now guaranteed safety tonight, but Team Sandstorm will be sending someone home!" Chris announced.

The first two teams cheered in victory. Everyone on Team Sandstorm (even Lemmy) groaned in disappointment at the news.

"Well, I guess we're not going on an immunity run," sighed Yuka.

"And I owe Zillah a twenty!" wailed Anthony.

"But we're not done yet!" Chris continued. "We've now reached the finals, and will find out which team stays in First Class! Along with the lucky contestant who gets to hang out with me in my private cabin!"

"Which was amazing, by the way!" grinned Seth.

Next to him, Xerxes was rubbing his clover frantically. "Come on... come on... give us some luck..."

The contestants gathered around Lemmy's booth one last time to place their bets on who would win: Tough girl Olivia, or big guy Jar-Money.

* * *

**(Confessional- Oooohhh... this should be good!)**

**Jar-Money-** "This it it. Time to make Uncle Chef proud!"

**Olivia-** "All of my opponents were pushovers. Jar-Money shouldn't be much trouble if I try my hardest."

**Ulilah-** (Sighs.) "We lost. But I actually did good today, which nobody was expecting from me... _Kendra_... so I don't think I'm in any danger of being voted out."

**Carmella-** "I'm not mad at Vance for losing; he was exhausted, and was pushing himself too hard out there. That's never a healthy thing to do."

* * *

"Okay, now I want a nice, clean match." Chris declared. "No punching, kicking, spitting, Polish Charlie Horses, or anything else like that. Just good old-fashioned wrestling!"

BONG!

The final match began. Both Olivia and Jar-Money circled each other warily, waiting for the other to make the first move. It was very engrossing to watch and oddly hypnotic in a way. The eliminated challengers called out their support for either of the two- though mostly because of the money at stake.

Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, Olivia rushed forward. Jar-Money was prepared however, and suceeded in catching Olivia in his massive arms. But he was clearly straining to keep her at bay; holding this girl back was like trying to stop an enraged bull. Olivia grunted loudly and pushed harder against her opponent.

"Go Olivia! You've got this!" cheered Ivan.

"Don't give up, Jar-Money!" Randall encouraged.

Slowly but surely, Jar-Money pushed Olivia back inch by inch. Feeling pure adrenaline surging through her veins, Olivia gave an extra boost to her efforts in holding the large rapper back. The minutes ticked by and nobody gained much ground.

"This is intense..." whispered Brandi.

"Don't let me down, 42-leaf clover!" Xerxes pleaded to his creation.

Olivia pushed even harder, causing Jar-Money to slide backwards a few inches.

"Oh no... shit!" Seth cursed. He was panicking; the criminal had bet a whole eighty dollars on his chubby teammate. And he was determined to not lose that money.

An idea suddenly sparked to life in his otherwise simple mind. Grinning evilly, Seth reached over to Preston and picked him up by the arm.

"Ooh! What are you up to now, you handsome silly goose?" giggled Preston.

Seth's response was to throw Preston into the ring- right at Olivia. He collided with the muscular girl, throwing both her and Jar-Money off balance. The latter recovered first; before Olivia knew what was happening, Jar-Money had pushed her out-of-bounds.

Chris hit the gong one last time to signify the challenge's end. "That's all, folks! Team Chef pulls off their second win in a row, and the MVP is none other than... Jar-Money! Looks like Chef's family isn't a total waste of genes after all."

"No fair!" screamed Olivia. "Seth cheated to help the fatass!"

"But I like Seth," grinned Chris. "So I'll let that slide!"

"... Is anyone going to ask if I'm okay?" asked Preston, lying on the ground in pain from the collision.

"No," Chris snapped.

"Eh; second place isn't too bad." shrugged Malcolm. "And besides, Trixie and I made loads of money off this challenge!"

He high-fived his mime teammate.

Vance sighed in disappointment. "I'm sorry I let you guys down. It was my job to lead this team to victory, and I failed."

"Hey, at least you did better than Nate," said Kendra, jerking her thumb towards the moping emo kid.

Chris cleared his throat. "Team Sandstorm, you guys may have lost, but there's still a light at the end of the tunnel for one of you. It's time for a solo immunity challenge!"

Helga perked up. "Oh ja, I forgot about that! What's the challenge?"

"Something that will probably haunt your dreams for the rest of your lives," smirked Chris.

All of a sudden, Chef Hatchet kicked down the emergency exit door and stepped into the arena. He was wearing nothing except a sumo wrestler's undergarment and his trademark chef's hat.

"Oh sweet lord! Not in public, Uncle Chef!" Jar-Money cringed, shielding his eyes.

"Listen up, foo's!" bellowed Chef Hatchet. "For your silly willy mini-challenge, one of you chumps has to beat me in a sumo match!"

To demonstrate his strength, the angry cook picked up Nate by the back of his hoodie and flung him across the entire room.

The eight other losers all gulped in unison.

* * *

**(Confessional- This can only end in one way: Very painfully.)**

**Lemmy-** "Bring it on, old man! Bring! It! On!"

**Ulilah-** "I should just quit. Solo immunity isn't worth facing Chef's wrath!"

**Yuka-** (Wincing.) "Okay... I've seen Chef in dresses, but... that was wrong in so many ways..."

**Xerxes-** "WOOHOO! THE CLOVER WORKS! Watch out, world! With the power of science and luck on our side, Team Chef will reign supreme! MWUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

**Ellen-** "... Yep; Xerxes is insane."

* * *

**Sorry if it's a bit subpar... this chapter took me forever to write. I found out early on that simply writing match after match would quickly get boring, so I changed quite a few things. Like adding the "Lemmy's Betting Booth" scene. Hey, I wanted to give him something interesting to do.**

**Oh boy; Xerxes' 'invention' could spell disaster for the other teams! What will they do?!**

**Hmm... what else... I'm getting my driver's license tomorrow, so... yay me.**

**Leave a review if you feel like it. Also feel free to PM or message me if you have any questions about the story so far.**

**Next time- The losers fight it out with Chef Hatchet. Conflicts arise and someone is voted off... and it may be surprising who.**


	6. Chapter 6: Another One Bites the Dust

**Disclaimer- I do not own Total Drama or anything related except for this fanfic. All credit goes to the creators, Teletoon, and Cartoon Network. I also do not own the alphabet theme, that belongs to Frank15. The 27 OC's in this story DO belong to me, though, so please do not steal them or I will be very very angry face.**

**Author's Notes- Have you guys seen the "veteran" cast for Season 5 yet? It utterly astounds me how the producers want to use the same overused, overrated characters like Heather and Duncan AGAIN. I mean, Heather has competed in like sixty episodes, and Eva has competed in... three? I don't have very high hopes so far. At least we might get another meme like Brick's derp face.**

**Okay, I'm done with my mini-rant. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Day 2, Part 3: Chef in an Adult Diaper**

* * *

On one side of the arena stood an angry Chef Hatchet. On the other side stood the nervous members of Team Sandstorm, except for Nate. He had painfully collided with a wall from Chef's earlier throw, and hadn't gotten back up.

"This is impossible; how are we supposed to beat Chef Hatchet in a sumo match? The guy's like a walking tank!" Kendra exclaimed in annoyance.

"Not to mention he has history in the military," added Helga.

"I personally doubt he lasted very long," muttered Vance. "His rank was probably Super Minus Private Negative First Class by the time he was discharged." **[1]**

"I heard that, maggot!" Chef boomed from nearby. "And I'll have you know that I was a darn good soldier! I was only discharged after taking a bullet to the knee!"

"At least it wasn't an arrow." shrugged Anthony.

"I hate that meme with the burning intensity of a thousand suns." grumbled Kendra.

Next to the gong, Chris whistled to get everyone's attention. "Okay, so here's the rundown. You'll all be allowed to attack Chef at the same time, but only the person who successfully pushes him out of the ring or otherwise incapacitates him wins immunity."

"Which ain't gonna happen, 'cause I'm gonna crush every last one of you whelps!" the angry cook roared.

"And that brings me to the next point. If Chef defeats all of you, then nobody gets immunity, and you're all eligible for elimination. That's pretty much it. Are you guys ready?"

Ulilah raised her hand. "Chris, I'm not exactly in the best shape to-"

"Great! Let the solo immunity challenge begin!"

BONG!

* * *

**(Confessional- Great plan coming up.)**

**Lemmy-** "We have a difficult obstacle ahead of us, but I think we're up for the task. I have a plan... it's very well thought out... and I believe it will work."

* * *

"LEEEEEEEEEMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY JEEEEEEEENNNNNNKKKIIIIIIIIII IIINNNNNNSSSSSSSS!" cried Lemmy as he charged straight towards Chef. Just as he got within striking distance, however, Chef picked him up by his head and tossed him aside effortlessly.

Lemmy hit the floor hard, but he wasn't done yet. Shakily standing up, he let out an angry roar and charged at Chef a second time. He jumped onto the cook's back and began to pound him repeatedly with his fists. Chef didn't seem to notice Lemmy on his back, though; instead he lunged towards the seven other contestants, ready to kill.

* * *

Team Venom stood at the sidelines, watching the challenge with a mixture of horror and fascination. None were enjoying it more than Olivia; she would occasionally shout insults at the rival team and cheer Chef on whenever he was beating the crap out of somebody.

"So... second place. We're moving up." said Malcolm, eager to break his attention away from the violence in front of him.

"I would've preferred First Class, but hey, I'll take what I can get." shrugged Zillah.

"Don't worry about it, guys! We'll just have to try harder next time!" Ivan smiled. "But even if we don't win, the most important part is to have fun! I mean, I was the first one out the challenge, but I still enjoyed it!"

"... I wish everyone shared your optimism, Ivan. You're a good person." Malcolm chuckled.

Damien, meanwhile, was trying his best to move closer to Jessie and remain inconspicuous. Every time he was sure she wasn't looking, he shuffled a little closer to her.

"Hey gorgeous," he purred when he was only a few feet away.

"Hello, Damien." Jessie sighed. "I assume you're here to ask me to make out with you?"

Damien grinned like a cat. "Kinda sorta yes."

"Well, maybe if you bring me some sushi, I'll think about it." Jessie suggested.

"Consider it done!" Damien beamed, running off and heading outside to find a sushi restaurant.

Once he was gone, Trixie smiled at her teammate and gave her a thumbs-up.

"Thanks, Trix," said Jessie with a small smile. "I don't get why he keeps flirting with me. I'd be perfectly okay with it if he wasn't so direct... and not such a huge jerk all the time. Like, did you see what he did to poor Will earlier? What an asshole!... Sorry if I'm bothering you; I just need to vent a little."

Trixie nodded in understanding and gestured for her to continue.

"And I'm not actually going to kiss him just because he's buying me sushi," Jessie added. "While I'd appreciate it all the same, the fact remains that we'd never work out as a couple, or even as friends. All I want is for him to leave me alone. Is that too much to ask for? Tell me, is it?"

Trixie put her hands up and shook her head no. She made a few more hand gestures and smiled warmly at Jessie.

"Glad to see that you're on my side!" Jessie exclaimed, reaching over to give Trixie a hug.

Felipe watched the two girls hug from nearby with wide eyes. He then began knocking the side of his head to get rid of the fantasies brewing in his teenage mind.

* * *

**(Confessional- And that's Jessie's side of the story.)**

**Yuka-** (She has some nasty bruises.) "Okay, so karate doesn't work against Chef... and neither does a full frontal charge... I don't think any of us are going to win immunity."

**Chef Hatchet-** (Lemmy's still on his back, punching him.) "I'll admit, I felt bad for hurting some of those kids, especially Helga. She's the only reason my food stays edible! But I have a reputation to live up to, after all. And can someone get this kid off my back?!"

**Malcolm-** "You've all probably noticed by now that I'm the schemer of the season. Does that automatically make me a bad person? No. I'll do whatever it takes to win, but I doubt I'll be proud of my actions if push comes to shove. Look, I... I just need this money, okay?"

**Jessie-** "I want to try and be friends with everyone in the game, but there are a few people who really push my buttons. Damien's one of those people. If he apologizes for his behavior, then I _might _forgive him, but until then I want nothing to do with him."

**Felipe-** "... Yuri?"

* * *

Team Chef stood in another area, and their reactions to the challenge were largely the same as Team Venom's. Watching their mascot wail on Team Sandstorm was... highly disturbing. The only one who was enjoying the violence was Seth, and he was calling for Chef to do some pretty sick and twisted things to his opponents.

A battered Anthony crash landed in front of the team a few minutes later. He looked up at them pleadingly.

"Help! Somebody help me... AAUGH!" he wailed as Chef grabbed his ankle and pulled him back into the ring.

Gail, however, was occupied with something different. The artist was sitting alone in a corner with a sketchpad in her lap and a pencil speeding away on paper. She was so engrossed in her work that she didn't notice when Randall sat down next to her. He watched her draw for a moment before speaking.

"Hey Gail, whatcha drawing?" he asked casually.

"EEP!" Gail shrieked, jumping about a foot into the air despite her sitting position. "Randall, my goodness, you scared me half to death! Don't sneak up like that!"

"Sorry," Randall apologized with a shrug. "And by the way, you haven't answered my question yet. What's that you're working on?"

"Oh, this? Just my latest masterpiece!" Gail exclaimed proudly, holding up her drawing for Randall to see. It was a perfect sketch of the arena they were in; every detail was flawless. She had even drawn Chris with his mallet next to the gong, Xerxes and Vance wrestling in the ring, and the other contestants (minus Queeny) cheering them on. All in all Gail was right; it was a masterpiece.

"Wow... call me impressed," said Randall in admiration. "That's really good, Gail. Would you mind if I asked you a question?"

"Not at all." Gail smiled.

"What made you decide to take up art?" Randall inquired, curious.

Gail fidgeted uncomfortably for a moment, which Randall noticed.

"Hey, um... you don't have to answer if you don't want to... just saying." he assured her.

She shook her head quickly. "No, no, I trust you enough to tell you. Do you know how some people have no sensation in their bodies? No sense of touch or feeling?"

Randall nodded, though he wasn't quite sure where Gail was going with this.

"... I'm one of them," Gail admitted sadly. "I can't feel pain. I don't know what it's like to feel warm or cold. I'll never know what it feels like to lay in a soft bed, or feel a gentle breeze."

"Oh my god... Gail, I'm... I'm sorry," Randall said somewhat awkwardly. "That's gotta suck."

"It's a setback, but I manage." Gail shrugged, returning to her drawing. "And that's how I got into art. I watch how other people react to the environments around them, and try to imagine what they're feeling when I draw or paint a picture. For example, do you see the lights shining down from the ceiling in the picture? See how bright they look?"

Randall squinted at the drawing. "Oh yeah; they do look rather bright. Now that you mention it, it does seem to be getting warm in here... makes me regret wearing a hoodie."

"Now you're getting it." Gail nodded, smiling.

Nate suddenly crashed into a wall next to the two, startling them. The emo stayed stuck in place for a moment before he slid down comically slowly.

"Ow," he murmured.

"Um, Nate? Didn't Chef eliminate you already?" asked Randall.

"... Your point?" was Nate's response.

* * *

**(Confessional- I've lost track of how many times Nate has been tossed around so far.)**

**Randall-** "I like art class, but I'd rather stick to parkour; it's what I'm good at. And again, it sucks that Gail has no sense of feeling in her body. But she doesn't seem to mind it much, so I won't pity her or anything like that."

**Gail-** "Randall's a good friend. And before you get any ideas, no, I don't have a crush on him. Sorry all you shippers out there."

**Anthony-** (He looks really banged up.) "Did Chef take professional wrestling or something?!"

**Nate-** "My team's probably going to vote me off. I don't care."

* * *

Outside the stadium, Damien weaved his way through the bustling city streets, determined to find a sushi restaurant someplace. Though he wasn't having much success so far.

"Just my friggin' luck! I'm in the middle of Tokyo, Japan, and not a single sushi place anywhere!" he grumbled to himself. "This bites. Why couldn't Jessie have wanted, like, McDonald's or something? That would have been a heck of a lot easier to find!"

As if on cue, he looked up to see an advertising sign displaying the ever familiar golden arches. Damien scowled deeply.

"I have a feeling I'm being trolled." he muttered.

He continued to wander aimlessly, but his search turned up nothing. Frustrated, Damien grabbed a nearby civilian and yanked him close so their faces were only inches apart.

"Listen buddy, I'm just gonna cut to the chase. Do you have any idea where a guy can get some good sushi around here?" he interrogated.

"はい、ちょうどあなたが見る次の道を左折し、あなたの場所を見つけることができます." the man replied.

Damien facepalmed. "Crap; I forgot you people don't speak English." he sighed. Releasing the man, he called out, "DOES ANYONE HERE SPEAK ENGLISH?!"

His prayers were soon answered when a Japanese girl around his age approached him. Her hair and outfit were both black, and she noticeably wasn't wearing any shoes.

"Hello, visitor. May I help you?" she asked politely.

"Uh, yeah, can you point me to the nearest sushi joint? My future girlfriend is hungry, and I don't want to disappoint her!" said Damien.

"Well then, you're in luck. If you keep heading straight and turn left at the next intersection, you'll find your destination shortly." the girl told him.

"You kinda sound like a GPS. But thank you, umm..." Damien trailed off.

"Yumi," the girl stated.

"Thanks, Yumi. Now before I go..."

Damien fished through a pocket on his robe and pulled out a pamphlet, which he gave to her. It pictured a charred and blasted landscape with the words "A Handy Guide to the End of the World" written on it.

"Spread the word; the end is nigh." he stated.

With those parting words, Damien left behind a very confused Yumi to continue his quest for sushi.

* * *

**(Confessional- Damien takes his "job" very seriously.)**

**Damien-** "I'm on a roll, baby! Nothing will stop me from winning Jessie's heart!"

* * *

Things weren't going very well for Team Sandstorm. Most of them were battered, bruised, and ready to collapse from the pain and exhaustion. The only ones who weren't too injured were Lemmy, who was now biting at Chef's shoulder like a rabid dog, and Ulilah, who wasn't participating in fear of hurting her unborn child. Which is a perfectly valid reason, mind you.

"Ulilah, get your butt in gear and help us! Don't just stand there doing nothing!" snapped Kendra. The rebellious girl had put up a good fight against Chef Hatchet so far, but she wasn't faring any better than her teammates.

"There's nothing I can do to help. I'm useless, remember?" Ulilah grinned mockingly. "And besides, I don't want to ruin your chances of winning solo immunity."

Kendra growled in response and charged at Chef yet again, determined to take him down.

"Epic fail in 3... 2... 1..." Ulilah counted down.

THUNK!

"Called it," she smirked.

The surrogate mother managed to enjoy a brief moment of peace before Preston skipped up next to her.

"Hello, Ulilah darling! How are you on this bright, fabulous, super sunshiney day?" he asked her merrily.

"Oh... hello Preston. What brings you here?" she inquired uneasily. While Ulilah hadn't talked much with the cross-dresser before, from what she had learned, he had a VERY inappropriate mindset.

"Well, I saw you standing over here all alone, and I thought to myself, 'Poor darling must be feeling lonely'!" giggled Preston. "So while we have time, what do you say you and me have a little... girl talk?"

This raised several red flags in Ulilah's mind. She attempted to flee, but Preston grabbed her arm in restraint.

"Now now, no need to be shy! We can start off with something simple if you'd like. For example, any boys here that you've got your eye on?" he pressed.

"Nope, none, can I leave now?" Ulilah said, desperately trying to free herself from her captor's grip.

"Nonsense! There has to be _somebody _you find attractive!" smiled Preston. "So, what type of guys do you like? Strong and powerful? Because if so, then stay away from Seth; I have dibs on him. Ooh, but Vance would still be available! Or do you prefer the dark and mysterious type? Then look no further than Nate! Although Will is also a good choice; he seems to be hiding something tragic, the poor thing."

Ulilah tugged harder to escape, but Preston was holding firm.

"Lemmy or Xerxes would be perfect if you want a bit of excitement in your life. And Xerxes is very smart, but so is Jar-Money, although he seems more mellow. Hmm, this is tough. We could be here all day discussing potential boyfriends!"

Now Ulilah was running on pure instinct. She had resorted to gnawing on Preston's arm with her teeth, but he didn't seem to notice.

"Thankfully I have time to spare!" he beamed. "Now then, let's talk about who I'm most interested in. Randall would make any young lady happy, and Ivan's a sweetheart... though Damien has more of that 'bad-boy' attitude that drives me crazy. But I'm rambling; you know that my heart belongs to Seth! If that handsome hunk ever asked to get in my pants, I'd say yes in a heartbeat! Heehee!"

Ulilah stopped struggling and instead broke down in tears. Meanwhile, Chef had finally pried Lemmy off his back and was now using his body as a makeshift club.

* * *

**(Confessional- Be honest. Would you rather fight against Chef, or spend time with Preston?)**

**Preston-** "I think Ulilah and I had a good bonding experience. She's a sweet girl; I hope she finds a nice boy... if they don't all come to me first. Heehee!"

**Ulilah-** (Sobbing.) "Now I see why everybody avoids Preston! That was so uncomfortable... breathe, Ulilah, breathe..."

**Ellen-** "Y'know, I think we should lock Preston in the Cargo Hold from now on. That isn't something I'd normally say, but he makes us all feel... unnerved, to put it lightly."

**Kendra-** "Funny; I suggested doing the exact same thing back in the first episode."

* * *

Brandi, Will, and Xerxes had left the arena and were hanging out in a hallway next to a vending machine. Since none of them had available pocket money, Xerxes instead tore a panel off the side of the vending machine and began to fiddle with the controls to net them some free snacks.

"Dude, this *twitch* is stealing! What if we get *twitch* caught?" Will asked nervously.

"You worry too much," scoffed Xerxes. "We won't get caught. I have the 42-leaf clover to give us incredible luck; and besides, we're all famous now. Famous people do stupid things like this all the time!"

"Can't *twitch* argue with you there. I mean, look *twitch* at Snooki." shrugged Will.

"What's a Snooki? Another pop culture thing?" Brandi asked innocently.

"Believe me, Brandi, there are some things in pop culture you're better off not knowing about." said Xerxes wisely. A moment later a loud clang was heard and a soda dropped into the dispenser. "Score!"

"Wow, that's pretty darn impressive! How'd you make that fizzy drink come out?" asked Brandi.

"Well, my redhead prairie friend, I simply hacked the controls, pinpointed where the grape soda was located, and fried the crap out of the inner mechanisms with a powerful surge of electricity! Mwuahahahahaha!"

Xerxes threw his head back and laughed maniacally for about thirty seconds. When he was finished, he retracted his metal hand and a bottle opener appeared in its place. He popped the cap off his ill-gotten soda and took a large swig.

"Ahhhh, delicious!" he exclaimed in satisfaction.

Will raised a curious brow. "Is there anything that *twitch* arm of yours can't do?"

"Ever see that episode of The Big Bang Theory where Howard made that robot hand?" questioned Xerxes.

Will nodded.

"It can't do _that,_" Xerxes said cryptically.

Will and Brandi both glanced at each other and shrugged in equal confusion.

* * *

**(Confessional- Xerxes can get away with anything because... well, he's Xerxes.)**

**Will-** "I wonder what Xerxes *twitch* meant when he said... wait a minute... oh. Oh, I just *twitch* got that. Well... damn."

**Brandi-** "First we were talkin' about Snookies, and then about somethin' called a 'Big Bang Theory'... man, all this outside culture is makin' my head hurt. Maybe I should ask somebody smart to better explain it all to me."

**Xerxes-** "Thought: How am I in the airplane confessional now, when I was in the stadium only a minute ago?"

* * *

"So, what would you guys do if you won the prize money?" Xerxes inquired as he tossed Will an orange soda.

"To be honest, I don't really know," admitted Brandi. "I just came here to learn about what life outside the farm was like. But if I were to win the money, then I'd probably buy some food for the winter and maybe a new plow. The one we have now is gettin' a bit rusty."

"I could fix it it you'd like," offered Xerxes, "though it'd likely end up becoming radioactive. What about you, Will?"

Will shrugged and sipped his drink. "Probably retire early or something; I haven't *twitch* thought it through much. But I'd definitely have to *twitch* save around half of it for the IRS."

"What do you mean?" asked Brandi.

"Prize money counts as income. So if you win *twitch* a reality show, then you're required to *twitch* pay some of the money in taxes." Will explained. He then pondered, "I think there was a *twitch* guy from Survivor who got in trouble *twitch* with the law because he didn't pay up. Though I *twitch* can't remember his name."

"Eh; I've never been a huge fan of Survivor. I much prefer Robot Wars!" Xerxes said opinionatedly. He tossed Brandi some bottled water. "Speaking of which... if I win the money, I'll build killer robots and make them fight for my own amusement! Or maybe I could become a superhero like Batman; you know, use my strength and fancy gadgets to fight crime and stuff!"

"You mean to say there's a critter out there that's half bat, half man, and enforces the law? That's amazin'!" Brandi gaped.

Xerxes stiffled a giggle and Will smirked. Eventually both boys burst out in laughter, leaving Brandi to wonder if she had made an accidental joke.

* * *

**(Confessional- Brandi has a lot of work cut out for her.)**

**Will-** "Unlike a lot of my *twitch* peers, I actually pay attention in *twitch* business class."

**Jar-Money-** "'We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give'... Churchill said that."

* * *

Damien walked with a cocky strut down another busy street. "Bad boys, bad boys! Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?" he sang.

He was feeling great; once he got the sushi, Damien was certain that Jessie would apologize for her earlier behavior and happily go out with him. In his mind, the doomsayer believed that Jessie was only being stubborn, and refused to acknowledge the impending apocalypse. He felt it was his duty to show her how to live her last days on Earth to their fullest- and that meant him and her engaging in steamy make out sessions.

Yes, he really is that dense.

"I wonder what it'd take to make her take her shirt off," mused Damien. "Hmm, I'll dwell on that later."

Finally he reached the entrance to a quaint little sushi restaurant.

"Yes! Now all I have to do is buy some and then... hello, what's this?"

Right next door to the restaurant was a video store. Taped onto a window was a poster that read, "Hottest Anime: 75% Off Sale!" in Japanese (though there was an English translation beneath it).

Damien stared at the poster for a long time. Then he looked at the sushi restaurant. Then back at the poster. Then the restaurant. He scratched his head in thought.

"Uhhhhhhhh..."

* * *

**(Confessional- I think we ****_all _****know what he's going to choose!)**

**Damien-** (Holding a plastic bag.) "... What? If you were in my position, I bet you would've done the exact same thing!"

* * *

Yuka panted heavily and rested against Vance's shoulder for support. Defeating Chef Hatchet was looking more and more impossible by the second; the angry cook simply shrugged off any attacks he recieved and retaliated with his Lemmy-club. Oddly though, throughout the challenge Carmella had been trying her best to _avoid _Chef, but always kept him within her line of sight. Yuka sensed she had a plan, but didn't know what it was.

"I... hate this challenge... so much..." the schoolgirl panted.

Vance smiled, revealing a newly formed gap in his teeth. "This may be the concussion talking, but I'm actually lovin' it so far! I haven't had this good of an excersise since boot camp!"

"I though that'd be your ans- OH CRAP!" Yuka suddenly shouted.

After whacking Helga out of the ring, Chef spun around and flung Lemmy directly at the two contestants. The crazy boy collided with them, the force of the impact sending all three teenagers out-of-bounds.

"Hah! I'm invincible!" boomed Chef. "Let's see... so far I've eliminated Army Man, God's Girl, Grumpy Girl, Jack Frost, Crazy Kid and Happy Chubby Girl... and Pregnant Girl is busy bein' hassled by Manwoman. Who's left?"

Chef then noticed Nate watching him from the corner of his eye.

"Didn't I eliminate you too, Sad Boy?!" Chef hollered.

Nate just fell over and faceplanted on the ground.

"That's more like it." nodded Chef. "Now Medicine Girl is the only one remaining. Heh, this is gonna be easier than- ugh!"

Chef's body suddenly became rigid and his eyes rolled into their sockets. He teetered on the spot for a moment, then fell to the floor with a mighty crash.

Carmella stood behind his still form, pinching her right thumb and index finger together. "And that's why you never underestimate the nerve pinch!" she declared.

BONG!

"And we have a winner! Against all odds, Carmella has defeated Chef Hatchet and won herself immunity. Who would've guessed the nurse, of all people, could take down such a brute?" Chris announced.

"Say, did you know that I brought a naughty nurse outfit to the show?" Preston told Ulilah. "I'd make all those yummy boys feel better in no time! Heehee!"

That did it for Ulilah. She broke free from Preston's grip and kicked him in the balls with all the strength she could muster.

"EEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIII!" screamed Preston in a very girly tone. The flirt dropped to his knees and whimpered in pain as Ulilah bolted off to rejoin her team.

* * *

**(Confessional- I very much enjoyed writing that last part!)**

**Ulilah-** "It doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl, getting kicked in the crotch hurts like hell. I'll be sure to thank Team Chef if they ever lose and vote off Preston."

**Preston-** (Holding his nuts in pain.) "Remind me to get these things removed someday!"

**Seth-** "Pffft, big deal. If that were me, then Preston would be on his knees begging for his miserable excuse of a life! And I'm also a bit pissed since Jar-Money is the MVP and not me. Friggin' fatass..."

**Malcolm-** "I'm satisfied with this day's results. Once Damien rejoined us- though I wasn't aware he left in the first place- we all got back on the Jumbo Jet and took off. Also, I think I'm done observing the opposition. I'll start making some moves tomorrow if things happen to work out in my favor. Patience is a virtue, after all."

**Kendra-** "Am I worried that I might be a target for elimination? No, not really. The best course of action would be to vote off some dead weight like Nate. Though Vance is also a likely candidate... back in Egypt, I predicted we'd lose and that it'd be his fault. Seems like I was right."

* * *

(First Class)

Team Chef (minus Jar-Money) gathered around the vending machines in First Class. Xerxes had once again hacked into them to get his teammates free drinks- though since Brandi never had so much concentrated sugar at once before, she was given another water bottle for her own good.

"We all did excellent today, team!" Gail congratulated. "It would be nicer if Jar-Money was here to celebrate with us, seeing as he was responsible for winning the challenge-"

"I helped!" barked Seth.

"-but I guess we'll have to make do. To Team Chef!"

"Team Chef!" everyone exclaimed, clinking their soda cans together in victorious celebration. Afterwards they all dispersed to mingle and enjoy the luxuries of First Class.

Randall was playing a game of Mirror's Edge on the Xbox while Ellen watched him. Since the Xbox was taken, Xerxes instead decided to play some Zelda for the Nintendo 64... this did nothing to calm his nerd rage, however. ("Screw you Water Temple!")

"It's not an understatement to say that this is my favorite game ever!" smiled Randall.

"Let me guess, it's because it's about parkour, right?" guessed Ellen.

"Well... yeah," Randall admitted. "The plot doesn't make much sense and the gameplay is kinda short, but it's still an underappreciated game in my opinion. And Faith has proved herself to be a great _traceuse._"

"... A great what?" asked Ellen in confusion.

"A traceuse_. _It's a French term; it refers to females who practice parkour, like this game's protagonist." explained Randall. "Males are called _traceurs._"

"Then why isn't your stereotype 'The Traceur'?" Ellen inquired.

"Eh; nobody would get it." Randall shrugged.

Gail had set up her easel and was busy painting the arena the challenge had taken place in. It was an exact copy of her drawing from earlier, but it looked even better in watercolor. Will sat on a chair nearby and watched her work, occasionally fiddling with his chain bracelets nervously.

The artist noticed his odd behavior and put down her paintbrush. She swiveled around on her stool to face him properly.

"Something on your mind, Will?" she asked gently.

Will lowered his gaze to the floor and slowly nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it? If there's something bothering you, then please feel free to tell me. I'm your friend, after all." Gail assured.

Will didn't answer and instead continued to fiddle with his bracelets. Eventually he took a deep breath.

"... I want you guys to *twitch* tie me to my seat tonight."

"Huh? Why would you request that?" blinked Gail.

"Ellen and Xerxes told me *twitch* about my... 'episode' this morning. I'm *twitch* afraid that if it happens again, I might *twitch* accidentally hurt myself or one of my friends. I don't know what I'd *twitch* do if that ever happened," Will sighed.

Gail considered his words for a moment. "Well... if that's what you think is best, then we'll do it. But I'd probably feel guilty and awkward about it afterwards." she admitted nervously.

"I understand. But I think the *twitch* only one of us here who'd actually be *twitch* interested in bondage is Preston," joked Will.

"Good one!" Gail laughed.

Seth was relaxing in a massage chair, snoring obnoxiously. Somewhere nearby, a low-pitched giggle woke him up from his sleep. He opened his eyes to see Preston watching him hungrily.

"Quit staring at me!" he snarled, preparing to raise his fist and smash Preston's face in. He was shocked to discover, however, that his arm refused to budge. In fact, he soon found that he couldn't move at all. He was bound to the chair by thick ropes.

"Hello, darling!" Preston greeted happily.

"What the-? God damn it, you lousy cunt! Did you tie me to my seat?!" roared Seth.

"Maaaaaaaybe!" giggled Preston. "And now I've got you all to myself till tomorrow!"

Seth could only watch in pure terror as Preston began to apply some lipstick.

"Someone! Anyone! HEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLP-!"

* * *

**(Confessional- Forget Slender Man... I now have a new worst fear... *shudders*)**

**Ellen-** "When I heard Seth's scream, I was tempted to help him... but then again, I guess this is his karma for all the wrongdoing he's done in the past."

**Brandi-** "I was sleepin' on a mighty comfy chair when someone started screamin' all of a sudden. Is everyone alright?"

**Xerxes-** (He looks amused.) "Wow, Seth was screaming even more than Will was when the plane took off!"

**Gail-** (Examines her painting and sighs heavily.) "Another good painting ruined by outside interference. Maybe I should work someplace quieter from now on."

* * *

(Chris' Private Quarters)

Jar-Money was seated in a fluffy armchair with a tropical fruit smoothie placed on an adjacent table. Currently he was very engrossed in a book titled "Philosophy for Smarties".

"Hey Jar-Money! Care to watch a movie starring yours truly, with yours truly?" Chris asked him with a flashy grin. The host was relaxing in the hot tub and watching a movie ("Fame Town vs. Godzilla").

"No thanks; I'd rather expand my mind with a good book, instead of destroy it with an atrocious movie." Chef's nephew replied calmly.

"You know, now I can see why you and Chef are related. You're both incredibly stubborn!" frowned Chris.

"A most excellent observation, Mr. McLean," said Jar-Money in a voice dripping with sarcasm.

Chris pouted immaturely. "Stop mocking me! Why can't you be more like Seth? He was much more fun than you are!"

Jar-Money shook his head slowly and turned a page in his book. "You sad, strange little man."

* * *

**(Confessional- Can this really be considered a reward?)**

**Jar-Money-** "If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased. That's what I think anyway."

* * *

(Second Class)

"Well, it isn't First Class, but at least we aren't going to elimination again!" said Zillah to brighten the mood.

"If only I didn't have a creepy cross-dresser thrown at me, then we would've gotten First Class." scowled Olivia.

"It makes no difference to me where we stay, as long as we avoid elimination." Malcolm stated with a shrug. "Say, has anyone seen Felipe?"

"You mean that funny Italian guy with the wrench? I think he went to the room that makes the plane go forward." said Ivan.

"I think you mean the maintenance room... or the engine room; I dunno, I was never good with technical jargon. But still, thanks for telling me, Ivan. I appreciate it," smiled Malcolm.

"Aww, you're welcome, buddy!" Ivan grinned.

Throughout the conversation, Trixie sat cross-legged on the floor, deep in thought.

Zillah noticed this. "What are you thinking about, Trixie?" she asked curiously.

Trixie pointed to the empty metal seats across from where Team Venom was situated.

"Oh, you're wondering who's going to be eliminated?" guessed Zillah.

Trixie nodded in response. She then mimed a grumpy face and crossed her arms in exaggerated annoyance.

"You think Kendra will get the boot? I think so too. I've seen the way she talks to the others, and she isn't a very good team player." Malcolm agreed.

"I personally think they'll get rid of the emo kid," Olivia snorted. "I kicked his ass in the challenge, and he doesn't seem to give a damn about the game in general."

"Anther good point," mused Zillah. "Or maybe they'll eliminate Vance for costing them the challenge. I doubt it though; he's the stongest member of their team. It'd be foolish to get rid of him so early on."

Trixie nodded and tapped her chin in thought.

"... Why are we even debating this? It's not our problem." stated Ivan.

Malcolm blinked. "Ivan's... correct, surprisingly."

"Whatever. I'm gonna get some sleep so I'm well-rested for tomorrow's challenge. But wake me up and you'll regret it!" Olivia threatened with a yawn. She plopped down on the bench, fastened her harness, and was out cold within a minute.

Jessie sat away from everyone else, reading a copy of Star Stalker magazine. Though her attention was immediately diverted when Damien sat down next to her with a plastic bag clutched in his hands.

"Did you bring the sushi?" Jessie asked dryly.

Damien fidgeted nervously. "Well... I didn't quite... it's a funny story, actually..." he stammered.

Jessie's stare never wavered.

"... Do you like anime?" Damien offered weakly.

Jessie groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. "This says a lot about you, Damien. It proves to me that you're more interested in your perverted fantasies than anything else. I give you one simple task, and what happens? You get distracted by cartoon girls with unrealistically huge tits- don't deny it, I can tell you bought something like that- and completely forget about my request."

"So... no kiss?" asked Damien uncertainly.

"I wouldn't kiss you even if you _did _bring the sushi! Now screw off and leave me alone!" Jessie snapped.

Damien looked at her, shrugged, then got up and left.

* * *

**(Confessional- He'll probably be back later...)**

**Olivia-** "I enjoyed this day; I got to beat up losers and my bloodlust is satisfied for now. Hopefully we'll have another physical challenge sometime soon. Heh, maybe we'll visit Rome tomorrow and have gladiator battles! That'd be awesome!"

**Ivan-** "Do you think we're going to visit Candy Land next? I'd love that! But my mom always tells me to eat sweets in moderation, or else my teeth will fall out... what was I talking about again?"

**Zillah-** "Boy, the stars tonight are really pretty to look at. (She pulls out a laptop.) I think I'll get started on editing today's footage. This is going to be the greatest summer project ever!"

**Jessie-** "I'm sick and tired of Damien's advances. He sees me only as an object! And I've only known him for, like, two days or something! This is so stressful... I don't know how much more I can take."

**Trixie-** (She looks like she's about to say something, but yawns and falls asleep on the toilet.)

* * *

(Airplane Canteen)

Team Sandstorm was gathered in their usual hangout spot in the airplane cafeteria. Carmella was very busy applying disinfectant, guaze, and a whole lot of bandages to to the wounded. Helga had also baked some tasty cinnamon buns to try and improve the otherwise bleak mood. Nate wasn't present; he stayed around long enough to grab a few of the treats and afterwards retreated to the Cargo Hold.

"I'm so thankful that nightmare of a challenge is over," winced Anthony. He was holding an ice pack to his head; he didn't necessarily need it, but the cold feeling still made him feel better.

"Definitely," agreed Carmella. "But we're not out in the clear yet. We still have to figure out who we're going to vote off."

"Isn't it obvious? We're going to vote for Nate!" Kendra declared.

Yuka looked at her quizzically. "Why would you suggest that? I mean, I know that Nate has his rough patches, but he's not a bad person. Unlike you."

Kendra glared at her dangerously. "What's that supposed to mean?" she growled.

"I think she means that you're causing a lot of team conflict, ja?" Helga spoke up timidly. "And, well... I'm planning to vote for you at the ceremony. You're too mean and aggressive, ja?"

"You people are making a big mistake! At least I've been working hard these past couple of days; what has Nate done? Killing that statue in Egypt was a total fluke, and his performance in today's challenge was pathetic at best. He's dead weight, and we need to cut him off!" Kendra shouted.

"As much as I don't like saying it, she has a point," mused Vance.

Ulilah sniffed. "I don't care how convincing of an argument you make, I'm still voting for you."

"Me too. Besides, you haven't done much better than Nate in the challenges, ja? For example, you got eliminated very early today." agreed Helga.

Kendra banged her fists on the table and hollered, "I was up against Jar-Money, dammit! Nobody could beat that guy! And you know what else? It isn't my fault if I have problems getting along with people! You're no different than the rest of them!"

She got up and stormed away in anger.

* * *

**(Confessional- This should be a highly dramatic ceremony!)**

**Lemmy-** (He notices Trixie sleeping.) "Who put a mime on the toilet? Anyway, I'm not sure who I'll vote for. Kendra and Nate both aren't very fun, but I can only choose one of them. Hmm... I think I'll go with my kidney feeling. I don't listen to my heart or gut feeling; I prefer my kidneys!"

**Vance-** "Y'know, I thought I'd be a target tonight since I kinda cost us the challenge. I might get a stray vote my way, but I think I'll be safe."

**Helga-** "Maybe I could put some spare cinnamon buns in a gift basket and give them to whoever gets voted off, ja? I'm sure that would help lesson the pain of losing."

**Carmella-** "Treating those wounds didn't take as long as I thought it would. Weird, huh?"

* * *

(Drop of Shame Ceremony Room)

The nine members of Team Sandstorm sat together on the bleachers. Their feelings were mixed. Vance tried to look confident, but was clearly faltering. Kendra looked grouchy (no surprise there) and Ulilah tapped her foot impatiently. Lemmy was fascinated with a stain on the ceiling that resembled Nicolas Cage.

Chris stood behind his tropical themed podium, glancing between each individual contestant with a smug grin.

"Team Sandstorm, welcome to your first Drop of Shame ceremony, and the second one of the season!" the host announced excitedly. "You put up a good fight today, but it wasn't enough to get by."

"Well maybe we wouldn't have lost if some people pulled their own weight, instead of brooding all the time." Kendra grumbled, shooting a glance at Nate.

Nate turned to face her.

"My scars are awards for your harmful words and my death is the trophy. Congratulations. I hope you know that you won." he said tonelessly.

Everyone in the room looked spooked at Nate's strong choice of words.

Chris coughed loudly. "Umm... ok then. So here's how the ceremony works. Each of you will enter the voting confessional, one at a time, and stamp the passport of the person you want to vote out. However, since Carmella won the solo immunity challenge she is ineligible for elimination. Any votes cast for her will be rendered void and will not count. Are there any questions? Good! Have fun voting!"

* * *

**(Confessional- One member of Team Sandstorm is about to be blown away.)**

**Lemmy-** "My kidney told me to vote for Kendra. Well, it's never let me down before!" (Lemmy stamps his forehead, then bangs his head on Kendra's passport.)

**Anthony-** "I vote for Nate. It's nothing personal, I just don't think he's happy here." (He stamps Nate's passport.)

**Ulilah-** "Carmella and I are both voting for Kendra, like we agreed to do yesterday. She's responsible for all this negativity." (She stamps Kendra's passport.)

**Nate-** "Hopefully I won't have to use a parachute on the way down." (He stamps his own passport.)

**Kendra-** "If you want to be depressed, fine, but you can't act that way in a serious game like this." (She stamps Nate's passport.)

**Vance-** "This is a tough choice, but... I vote for Nate. Though mark my words, Kendra is without a doubt going next." (He calmly stamps Nate's passport.)

* * *

After Yuka had cast her vote everyone regrouped on the bleachers, patiently waiting for the results. Nobody appeared to be nervous at first glance.

Chris was reviewing the votes. "Mhmm... wow, this is rather unexpected. And emo boy, would you care to explain why the hell you voted for yourself?"

"So I can jump out of the plane and end my suffering. After all, it's not required to wear the parachute, is it?" Nate stated simply.

Nine pairs of eyes stared at him for a full minute.

Chris coughed again, then took out a tray of pet rocks from below the podium and placed them on top for all the teens to see.

"Why do you have a tray of rocks? What happened to the bags of peanuts, ja?" asked Helga.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE MY PEANUTS?!" roared Lemmy.

"Chillax, dude. We ran out of peanut bags so I'm using my old pet rock collection instead. When I call your name you will be given a pet rock; that means you don't have to take the Drop of Shame and are safe for another round. The passenger who does not receive a rock is out of the contest, must strap on a parachute, and get to experience freefall. And once you're out, then you are never, ever allowed to come back... _ever. _Unless the producers say otherwise."

"That takes away a bit of the suspense," noted Yuka.

"Shut up. The first rock goes to... Carmella."

"Helga."

"Lemmy."

"Ulilah."

"Anthony."

"Yuka."

"... Vance, you're safe too."

The cadet breathed a sigh of relief and saluted as he caught his pet rock. Only Kendra and Nate remained without a rock. Kendra bit her lip in determination. Nate sat perfectly still.

"Kendra... emo boy... this is the last rock of the ceremony. If I don't call your name, then it's bon voyage for you. And I don't know what you guys did to piss off your teammates so much, but only you two got votes; and let me tell you, they were extremely close.

"The final pet rock... goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"... emo boy!"

"What?" Nate exclaimed in shock as he caught his rock. "How am I safe?"

"_WHAT?!_"Kendra screeched. "You idiots kept the emo over me?!"

"Like I said before, Nate has his issues, but at least he isn't pushy and overly aggressive!" scolded Yuka.

"You never allowed us to try and get to know you, and maybe help you out with your problems. I'm sorry, Kendra, but this is for your own good." Carmella stated firmly.

Kendra shifted her gaze to each of her teammates. Most of them seemed to be in agreement with what the girls said.

"... I knew you were no different than the rest." she growled at them.

Leaving the others to ponder over her words, Kendra grabbed a parachute from Chris and strapped it on her back. She gave her team one last glare before jumping from the plane without a sound.

A long, uncomfortable silence passed over the room.

"Can't you just taste the ratings?" laughed Chris.

"Shut up, Chris." Vance said tiredly.

* * *

(Cargo Hold)

Later that night, Nate sat alone on a crate in the Cargo Hold. He was busy thinking about the day's events; from Ulilah trying to comfort him in Japan, to his narrow escape from elimination earlier. He had honestly expected that he'd be the one to go.

So why did a majority of his team decide to save him?

Nate continued to think for a while, before glancing down at his body. The bandages on his hands, and now the front of his hoodie, were both stained red with fresh blood.

Oh, right. They probably wanted to watch Olivia beat the shit out of him again. Nobody in his hometown cared about him- even before the "incident"- so why should these people be any different?

The thought made him even more depressed. He was about to reach for his switchblade when the sound of a door opening caught his attention.

A disheveled and VERY pissed off Seth tossed a large object into the Cargo Hold with all his strength. When he shut the door, the "object" got to its feet and revealed itself as none other than Preston.

"Hello? Seth, honey? Can you open the door? I wasn't finished enjoying your muscles!" he called out in vain.

Nate wisely chose to sleep in a crate that night and made sure to shut the lid.

* * *

(Engine Room)

Damien leaned against a cold metal wall, watching Felipe work vigorously on fixing and maintaining the Jumbo Jet's engines and other internal systems. While he didn't have the slightest idea why the mechanic would bother fixing up the plane when doomsday was just beyond the horizon, he didn't question it. Instead he was thinking about his earlier conversation with Jessie.

"Y'know, I'm starting to get the feeling Jessie may not like me after all," he mused.

Felipe scoffed. "Le tomó tanto tiempo para darse cuenta de eso?"

"The problem is, I don't know what I'm doing wrong," Damien continued. "I've been nothing but nice to her. I threatened Helga to give her extra servings at dinner tonight. And I even bought her some steamy anime... which I've decided is far better than sushi."

"No puedo recordar un momento en que no sonaba como un idiota pervertido." said Felipe.

"I mean, she was fine at first, but now she keeps getting mad at me whenever I talk to her and always blows me off! Do you think it's her time of the month or something?" guessed Damien.

"Créeme amigo, si ella estaba en su periodo, entonces sería otra cosa que un desastre destrozado de pulpa sanguinolenta en estos momentos." Felipe snickered.

Damien sighed. "Maybe I'm not trying hard enough."

"Ya sé que no me puede entender, pero yo todavía voy a aconsejar en contra de hacer eso. Jessie es mi amigo, pero viendo su enfado me asusta un poco. Usted no quiere hacerla saltar un fusible!" warned Felipe.

"So you're saying that I'll be rewarded if I try hard enough to get what I want? That makes sense. Thanks, Felipe!" smiled Damien.

The doomsayer left the room in a much brighter mood, ready to win a hot girl's heart.

* * *

**(Confessional- This can only end in disaster.)**

**Felipe-** (Rolls his eyes.)

* * *

Chris sat in the co-pilot's chair and Chef flew the plane as usual, ready to wrap up the episode. The host dramatically spread his arms, temporarily blocking Chef's view of where he was going. Sounds of mortally wounded geese echoed outside the cockpit.

"... Better not tell PETA about that." Chris murmured. "And so we leave behind Japan, as well as Kendra. I wonder what that girl's deal was. Now for the following questions: Where are we going to visit next? Will Damien win over Jessie, or will she maim him first? Will Lemmy do more random stuff? Will Brandi ever learn about pop culture? And who will be the third person voted off? Find out next time on Total! Drama! World Tour Two!"

* * *

**Votes:**

Carmella: Kendra

Vance: Nate

Yuka: Kendra

Nate: Nate

Lemmy: Kendra

Kendra: Nate

Helga: Kendra

Anthony: Nate

Ulilah: Kendra

**Total:**

Kendra: 5

Nate: 4

* * *

**[1] Red vs. Blue reference ftw!**

**And so we end the Japan arc. This arc was mostly focused on character development and gave a deeper insight into the contestants' personalities and views. At least I think it did. (shrugs)**

**Kendra leaving is probably a shocker to some, but let me explain why I did it. She was an experiment; she had all the things a main character would need: A deep personality, an implied backstory, and plenty of interaction with her teammates. However, her negative attitude and the intense friction with her team led to her downfall. Sorry to those who liked her, but you'll see her again in time.**

**I've also found suitable theme songs for a few other characters:**

**Lemmy- Benny Hill Theme**

**Nate- "Watch Me Bleed" by Scary Kids Scaring Kids**

**Kendra- "Just Like You" by Three Days Grace**

**Will- Mass Effect 3: Leaving Earth (You'll see why eventually.)**

**Leave a review if you liked it and all that jazz.**

**Next time- Date night in France! Everyone will have a role to play. Nothing can go wrong, right?... Right? **


End file.
